《Loving him from afar [Completed]》《 Chapter 12: Missing him 》
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After a long boring day, I laid on my bed in an attempt to sleep. It's become a routine now; every other night, I would remind myself to go to sleep cause he's not thinking about me. Yet I would stay awake, staring at the ceiling and wonder about him. Him. I already miss him.
He was all I thought about. I was starting to wonder whether I was normal?
To distract myself, I went out of my house to the neighborhood park. I was surprised that the park was open at this time of the day and was thankful there wasn't anybody else.
As I sat down on the ground, my mobile beeped. I opened it to say that my high school has uploaded pictures from the musical night on Facebook. I scrolled through the pictures when a certain picture caught my attention.
It was a picture of me and Leah but there was someone in the background. I turned up my brightness and it was him. He was looking at me.
Me? Why?
My eyes glimmered with tears and flowed down my cheeks unchecked on to my phone. A tight grip was wrapped around my heart, its squeezing and squeezing not allowing me to breathe. It hurts so bad its indescribable.
Lecture. Movie day. White sweater. Treat. Musical night. Getting heartbroken.
My whole sophomore year was about him and him only. All of the memories came rushing and it was just too much for my heart to handle.
Now all I was left with was regrets. I regretted not staring at him long enough. I regretted never talking to him even once. I regretted so badly not telling him how I feel.
If only I could turn back time...
I reached my hands to the bright moon. The moon reminded me of him, so close yet so far away. And then I decided to share my overflowing feelings with the moon.
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My lower lip quivered and the tears wouldn't stop. Because I knew very well that this was goodbye to whatever that we had. Because I knew I would never get to see him ever again. Because I knew he would move on with his life yet I would be the one holding on. Because I knew that the love I had for him was so real.
Honestly from the moment I first laid my eyes on him, I knew he could never be mine so if I knew it was going to hurt this much, I wish I've never laid my eyes on him that day. It was unlike any other crush I've had. It truly hurt, I've had a lot of crushes but I forgot about them in a few weeks. But this doesn't look like a mere crush to me. I had a feeling I was going to love him forever.
I wiped the tears out of my eyes but before I knew it, I was sobbing, muffling my quiet screams of regret, frustration, and sadness.
Even though I fell in love so quickly, the pain and joy I received from this unrequited love was plenty. I didn't want to keep getting hurt and wasting my teenage years on someone who probably doesn't even care about me.
Little does she know, he too was awake thinking about her.
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