"Kye stop it."

I roll my eyes at him and try to walk away again.

He lets go of me and places his hands in his pocket. I look away and walk towards my purse.

As I go through my purse I suddenly feel something cold on my neck.

I realize it's the same chocker he gave me last time -the one that belonged to his late grandmother.

"Diana will freak out-"

I start as Kye places it around my neck, but he cuts me off.

"This is the one time I wish she was not blind to see you wearing this."

I suddenly feel his head pressed against my neck and I just can't stop blushing.

"Damn I'm turning into a bitch."

I involuntarily whisper out.

"Why you say that fire fly?"

He asks while now licking my neck and I am in just total awe.

"You.. Mmh "

His tongue feels so magical -what the fuck is wrong with me?

"Spit it out."

He says sucking my neck.

"You have me eating from the palm of your hands."

I whisper out.

"You have me eating from the palms of your hands. When I tell you the thoughts I have about you scare me."

He says and I am surprised because his eyes show me he is not lying.

"Like what thoughts?"

I ask curiously but scared.

"If I tell you, I'll scare you. They scare me."

He says passing his tongue on my neck one last time.

I shake my head.

"I think you just can't handle the tightness of my cünt. My warm wetness is making you think you're in love, but -"

I joke but he cuts me off.

"You know how I know I do not just love you but am in love with you?"

He whispers in my ear.

I reluctantly shake my head.

"Earlier the day I left, I saw you laying down with Khlo. I was hoping and still am hoping that you are some how pregnant. This way I can probably trap you enough and make you agree to marrying me."

"...."

My heart drops.

"What? Type of sick joke?"

I whisper.

"I know you are only 23, and I'm 31. I know I probably sound crazy, but Lai you put up this hard exterior to hide how sweet and loving you are."

Kye cups my face and I swear I'm not breathing as he continues.

"When I was sick a couple of months back, it was due to Diana throwing a bucket of water on me. I was so sick, and you took me in as a stranger. You feed me soup you gave me clothes, and treated me so well until I got better. When I had my amnesia you still let me bond with my kids -both of them, and I say they are my kids and you are the mother of our kids because I love you all so much."

I shake my head in disbelief.

"Kye-"

"Lai... I purposefully don't use coñdoms."

I gasp as my breath hitches in my throat.

"I just picture you waking up to me with a swollen stomach. Smiling at me, and I'm the cause of the smile. You're beautiful brown eyes staring into me, and we're just comfortable in our embrace. I don't think I have ever used a côndom with you. I made sure to hide all the alcohol in the house in case you were craving some when I left. I know I may sound selfish, but I just don't care."

"I-I- what? I'm so young I have not lived my dreams. I'm not even married... What about Diana and Henry? How would they- I don't even believe love exists. You think there's a possibility that I am pregnant?"

I look down at my tummy and cup it. I can't even picture something in there.

"I hope so"

"Shut up! You're not being reasonable Kye!"

He grabs my hand and slowly pulls me towards the direction of the bed.

I fall on top his chest. Kye makes eye contact with me and slowly he pulls down my sweats and underwear.

"You are supposed to be ovulating right now."

He whispers in my ear.

My heart drops.

"How do you know that?"

I ask in clear shock.

"The first time we made love I told you that you were mine. I know your body. It belongs to me."

Before I can respond, he drops his towel and slowly pushes his côck into me.

"Let me breed you."

"Fuck"

I grunt when I feel him balłs deep into me.

"Say my name firefly..."

"Fuck Kye..."

............

I have not been myself lately. I've been so confused. So disgusted with myself... So depressed. I don't know who I am in life, nor who I will become.

The day after Kye and I fuckèd, I went to the pharmacy and took a plan b pill.

I know I should have gone to a doctor in case I am at least a month pregnant, but I don't have the balls to.

I never thought I would ever take one of those. I feel sick to my core. Mentally and physically.

My stomach hurts. I have abdominal pain and I feel so weak. Lately I have not had much of an appetite.

I don't know if I was pregnant, but there is just too much at stake for me to lose if I was. Especially for a man who is not my husband -who I do not love. I can't love him! I am undeniably attracted to him, yes. However, I cannot and will not allow myself to catch feelings for him. I deserve better.

I don't even believe him when he says he has feelings of love for me. I just think he's comfortable with me and does not want to lose me.

"There's a difference between love and possessive"

I say to myself as I lay in bed.

My phone rings but it's across the room. I'm too lazy to pick it up.

It rings two more times but I ignore it.

I just ... I just want a different life. Selena fucked mine up. She's the reason this fuckboy is giving me problems. Then she had the nerve to kill herself. Who am I kidding? I was born into a fucked up life.

Born into a rich family in France. Youngest out of two kids.

I remember little images of a lady with black curly hair, well dressed always smiling in public and crying at night behind closed doors. She cried because she never had a male child to please her fucking husband. No one to carry the fucking last name.

I remember little Selena and I always getting scolded for the littlest things. If we sneezed while one was talking we had to kneel on rice. If we slouched even in the privacy of our home, we had to kneel on graters. No one would know what we went through because my mother was so perfect on the outside. We lived in a mansion with a butler and maids. We were homeschooled and went to church every Sunday, but that was not enough for my mother. I was never enough, Selena was never enough and we would never be, because we weren't male. Once my father cheated on my mother, my mother grew harsher and blamed us. She abused us and my father never cared enough nor was ever around to stop her. Eventually she grew tired of beating us and gave us up for adoption.

A family from America adopted us and that was the first time I knew what love was. However, it was shortly lived because our new mom died from lupus.

My phone rings taking me out of thought.

I just place the pillow over my head and sob. I'm so tired of life. I just wish God would take me. I just want to sink into a hole and stay there. I have officially reached my breaking point. I'm alone. I don't have my sister. I don't have Haley nor Aunty Rachel or Henry. Michelle, Christina and Anthony are back in New York. At least I have my kids, but sometimes I don't want to be around them. Sometimes I just want to be by myself and sink into my depression.

------

"Laila mi amor. Lavanta te. You in bed all day."

I know it's Rosealina that wakes me up.

She open the curtains and I am surprised to see that it is dark outside.

"Mi amor you have been in bed for the whole day! Ju missed work again. Are you sick? You look like shit!"

I end up laughing at her honest words.

"I'm not feeling well."

I respond as I slowly get out of bed.

"I'll make some chicken soup."

She says walking up to me and touching my forehead.

"No fever"

She states.

There is a knock on the door and I am surprised when I see Kye's Mother, Alicia.