Lub

Dub

Lub

Dub

My eyes opened with a start, my heart beating sluggishly, almost inexistent in my chest and everything came to focus. Last night, I had drunk some blood but ended up taking a bottle of whiskey with me to bed after my bath. I wasn't sure exactly why but I couldn't get rid of it. That feeling that something was different. I was for lack of a better term, obsessed with it.

It wasn't particularly easy living a life where you breezed through without feeling much. Then imagine yourself as that person and you find some semblance of feeling and yet you have no idea on where to pinpoint exactly where it's coming from. It was torture. Knowing that there was something so tangible in the air, like a lifeline dangling temptingly close to me and yet I could not just reach out and grab it. It was increasingly frustrating.

I had finished the whiskey not long after but I just lay in bed, thinking, willing myself to fall asleep. One thing was strange too. Lady Karayan had not come to see me yet. I say it was strange because even though I had not taken her to bed in over three years, she always came to see me when I came back from travelled. It's not like I missed it no. It was not strange. I doubted Lady Karayan was in love with me. she used to use my body in the same way that I benefitted from hers. Until I didn't anymore. I don't know exactly when I stopped but I just stopped. I had never had any deep feelings for her. She was my second and the first person I had ever turned and that was it. Our sexual relationship had been a mutual benefit sort of thing but for a long time, just like everything else, I stopped feeling.

I sighed and scratched the top of my head. It was in a buzz cut which I preferred these days. I wondered how long it would take for me to lose interest in it as well. Dark and moody just like my father's: El Diavolul. I wondered if my brother up in the north: Lucien was still feeling the effects of El Diavolul's reappearance five years ago. I had not been there and yet it still affected me. Our father was not exactly the best. Maybe one day, if someone was willing to listen, I would tell them my story. The story of my father in my own point of view.

I got out of bed and walked towards the mirror on the edge of the room. I was barefoot and I felt the cold beneath my feet. It was spring now but winter was coming not long from now. The chill had already started setting in. The first two buttons on my shirt were open and the shirt just hung lightly on my body. I paused in front of my reflection and took in a long, lungful of the frigid air. I got my blade, some shaving cream and a rag.

I dragged the sharp blade to my throat. I had been cut, stabbed, hit, and almost killed so many times but as I stood there, staring at myself with the blade at my throat, I wondered what it would be like to just cut it. Of course I would just bleed out and not actually die but wouldn't that be feeling something?

I shook my head and took away the blade from my throat and applied my face cream instead. What was the point? After a while I was done shaving.

I cleaned my face, took a bath, dressed up and left the room. It was bright out already and the mansion was alive with activity.

"Good morning My Lord." The guards on the end of the corridor leading to my room greeted as I passed. I nodded, the mask of the carefree Lord stepping back into place.

"Morning. Send word to Lady Karayan to meet me in my office immediately." I ordered.

"Right away my Lord." One of the men ceded, bowed and hurried off. I needed that chat with Lady Karayan. What I had found out in the East was disturbing. Something was going on in the coven and it was strange she hadn't informed me about it.

I got to my office in no time and immediately set to work. I had to remind myself to talk to Lord Mba later about his suggestion. The man was my third in command and it was his suggestion that had given me the idea to place Carlisle as my eyes and ears in the coven. There was more that I knew Lord Mba would play an important role in.

After a while, a knock sounded at the door, reverberating through the entire room, effectively pulling me out of the documents I had been studying. The knock was soft and yet purposeful.

"Come in Lady Karayan." I answered, already knowing who it was. It was no surprise then that when he door opened, wild red hair showed first followed by the visage and body of Lady Karayan. She had opted out of the dresses that high ranking court women wore and she was instead wearing leather pants, boots and a loose dress shirt. Her red hair was held in a ponytail and her face looked serious. She smiled when she saw me.

"Kyryaan. you're back." She enthused...well it over enthused to me. Hmmm. She was being too chirper.

"Yes. Since last night..." I trailed off with an eyebrow raise.

"And last I remembered, I'm still your Lord." I added and I noticed her smile falter. Just slightly. And then her smile widened even more. It didn't feel real to me. She was concealing her true feelings. But why? I had not insulted her. I simply stated a fact. One she clearly knew. So why was she affected by it? Interesting.

"I thought.... Forget it. As you wish my Lord." She said with a small bow and kept her head there. I raised a brow again. Lady Karayan was definitely acting strange. And now that I thought about it, it had been for a while. It was times like this that I wished I was direct and outright like my brother Dalkyr, or as observant as my brother Lucien. Either way, I had my own strengths and I was going to use them. I faked a small smile, bringing my mask back on.

"You may raise your head Lady Karayan. It was a tongue slip. You may take a seat." I spoke. She raised her head and took a seat as suggested. Her smile had been diluted and her eyes were far off, her pulse controlled. She smiled diplomatically.

"Of course my Lord." She accepted.

"About last night, I couldn't come because I assumed you needed your rest from your travels." She explained lightly. I studied her and smirked.

"That has never stopped you before." I commented and she smirked back.

"I didn't know you expected my visits my Lord. Especially since you have not had my body or wanted to have it in years." She leaned forward, her breasts pushing against her shirt, inviting as she smiled. I dragged my eyes from her cleavage to her eyes and smirked back.

"I didn't know you took offense in it. After all, we are not and have never been in a relationship. You are not my beloved." I stated simply and she flinched visibly, recoiling immediately. Her expression changed, looking almost wounded but then her expression hardened and she forced a smile. I knew it was forced because I had seen her do it so many times.

"Of course not my Lord. The dynamics of our relationship have always been clear." She replied tactfully.

"Hmmm." I hummed lowly, still studying her. She held my gaze unflinchingly. Interesting. Was she challenging me?

"You are right. The dynamics have always been clear. You are my second. Which is why we have more to discuss than our adventures on the sheets." I spoke calmly, my fake smile still on.

"How was your trip to the coven my Lord?" She changed the topic. I leaned back on my chair, letting out a small sigh.

"Interesting. It was interesting." I paused and she waited for me to continue. I clasped my hands together beneath the table.

"What's even more interesting is that Duncan's son is not yet coven head. Did you know that Lady Karayan?" I asked. I was threading into dangerous waters and her eyebrow ticked, indicating that she knew it too. She gave a strained smile.

"Is that so?" She asked rhetorically.

"I just wonder, why you didn't inform me of that yet. You were in charge of information from the East after all." I smiled, focusing my gaze on her. I heard her heartbeat stop then she controlled it to resume. I smiled even wider. She was definitely hiding something. Which is why I anticipated what she said next.

"I was. I am. You were just so busy with the other problems that we have been facing and I was handling it." She replied. I smiled. Typical.

"I see." Trailed off.

"Either way, I am involved now. Since you have been on top of it, its fine. I will be meeting the boy in a month anyways. So that it fine." I chose my words carefully, baiting her further and both of her brows rose in surprise. I smirked. I wondered how involved she was in this. I didn't tell her about Carlisle. I didn't plan on telling anybody.

"The boy? Duncan agreed to this?" She inquired, surprised.

"Why wouldn't he? I am Lord." I smirked. Her smile faltered again but she held it in place.

"Of course, my Lord." We stayed in silence for a few seconds more and then I spoke.

"I heard you took a little trip of your own as well." This seemed to bring her out of her thoughts.

"Yes. I did. Some things needed my immediate attention." She explained.

"Alright." I replied. There was nothing else to say. I would find out what it was later but I couldn't let her know that. I smiled.

"If that would be all My Lord, could I be excused? I have a lot of work to handle." She looked up at me, a serious look on her face. I smiled again.

"You are excused Lady Karayan." I spoke and after a small bow, she pushed her chair behind, stood up and left the room closing the door behind her.

The second she left, I leaned on my table and let out a sigh. Lady Karayan was hiding something and I was going to find out what it was.

I worked for a few more hours before I realized that I was hungry and I had not yet seen Lord Mba. I packed the documents and files and left my office. I had missed breakfast and lunch from the looks of it, as no one knew to disturb me when I was working unless otherwise. I wondered where Lord Mba was. I decided to see him before I got something to eat.

Something told me to check one of the smaller libraries. I don't know where the feeling came from but I had this urgency to check one of the smaller libraries so I made my way towards the one not far from the wing where Lady Karayan, Lord Mba and some other top officials lodged.

For some reason, my steps slowed as I moved along the corridor leading to the library. I cracked the creak in my neck from all those hours in my office. I felt it again. I could practically feel the hum in the hair. That feeling that something was different in the mansion. I was curious and oddly interested. My blood pumped steadily through my veins and for the first time in a long time, I felt.... excitement. It was addictive so fast. And it seemed to increase as I got closer to the door. That feeling, that excitement.

I finally reached the door of the library, large and inviting, the wood carved in intricate designs and spells. The tension in the air increased. I looked down to my palms and they were sweaty. Little beads of sweat stained my palms and my heartbeat had increased. What was going on? Was I under a spell?

I dismissed my thoughts and pushed open one of the huge double doors further. It was then that I realized it had even been open a crack. The feeling increased tenfold. Whatever was different in the mansion was here. I walked into the library. It looked empty at first glance but then I heard a low hum. A soft song travelling across the otherwise quiet library. I walked towards it, following the sound as if in a trance.

Lub dub

Lub dub

Lub dub

Lub dub

Lub dub

I saw her, then it stopped. The entire world stopped. The sun seemed to shine different. I took in a deep breath and I could practically hear myself breathing. The air smelt of a sunny field of blooming flowers on a bright spring afternoon. Calm, entrancing, amazing. She smelt of fresh flowers. It was like I was just learning to breathe. I closed my eyes, enraptured in that feeling...of feeling and then I opened them again. It felt like I was looking at the world through different eyes. Was this a dream? A spell? Was I dead?

If asked to describe her, I wouldn't exactly be sure of what to even say. She was beautiful. She was without a doubt the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was standing in one of the aisles, a book in hand looking into it, her brow furrowed in concentration. She had frizzy, coily hair packed into a bun with a small headscarf holding it in place.

I took two steps further. Wanting to be close to her. Each step seemed to be chipped, cracked, uneven. I wasn't sure if I was even walking right. It felt like a seriously tedious undertaking. I had to breath, hearing myself dragging in air to steady myself. Everything else had gone mute. I could hear my blood pumping in my ears. I let out a loud breath and then suddenly, she turned and looked at me. I didn't expect it. It took me by surprise, almost like a punch to the gut but when she looked at me, it felt like I died and woke up again.

If I had thought she was beautiful before, with her eyes on me, she literally took my breath away. In that moment, that exact second, I forgot how to breathe.

She wore simple clothes. A long, pale colored simple gown that hid her feet, held her waist, enunciating a slender waist leading up to exposed slender shoulders. The gown was modest but the top part extended just enough to show the tops of her breasts. I swallowed. Her shoulders extended into a slender neck that was slightly arched when she turned and this led up to a v chin with a rounded tip. She had round cheeks, puffy, delectable looking lips that were slightly parted in surprise with the perfect cupid's bow on top. Her nose was big but proportionate and I followed the movement of her breathing through it right up to her eyes. Her eyes, dear heavens her eyes. If I had not been sucked in already, I was a lost cause when I saw her eyes. Her eyes were a rich dark brown that reminded me of molten chocolate being tipped slowly over freshly baked bread. Those swirly dark pools were expressive and so beautiful, the darkness being in perfect contrast with the white of her irises. She had slightly curly but dark eyelashes that marked her rich brown dark hair. The glow of the setting sun flowed freely on rich melanin skin in a way that looked like she had been touched and blessed by the heavens themselves. There was absolutely nothing in this world that could convince me that this woman was anything by a goddess.

Lub dub

Lub dub

Lub dub

Lub dub

My heart started beating again and matched hers in perfect symphony. It was like after going through life in black and white, I was finally seeing color again. Some of my wits returned and I finally regained speech.

"Flower." I whispered.