bravado

✧

When I had you to myself, I didn't want you around!" says six-year-old Holly Wheeler. Her voice has a childish lisp, but she refuses to let that stop her from singing the Jackson 5 song. "Those pretty faces always made you stand out in the crowd."

Rue watches Holly twirl around the pink room, almost tripping over the doll playhouse. Rue's lips twist into a grin as she sits on the rainbow carpet in Holly's bedroom, her fingers tapping on the floor with the beat of the music.

"Is that your favourite song?" She asked because it had been the tenth time Holly had begged her to start it from the beginning since she walked in.

Holly spots dancing abruptly and pushes her hair out of her flushed face. She turns to Rue with a flushed face and giggles, "Duh!

Mrs. Wheeler had left the house for brunch with her book club friends roughly half an hour after Nancy and Robin had gone to Pennhurst Asylum to carry out their plan. Ted Wheeler was meant to be watching Holly, but he had fallen asleep in the living room, and Holly had become tired of watching cartoons on TV. The girl had visited the basement and found Steve, Dustin, Lucas, and Rue huddled on the couch.

Rue fidgets with the music player Nancy had given her while the three boys stare holes into the back of Max Mayfield's head. Rue is the first to notice Holly coming slowly into the basement, and she waves to the small girl standing at the stairway.

Holly waved back and beckoned Rue to follow her before dashing back up the stairs. Rue listened and found herself in Holly's bedroom, watching after the little girl while her ballerina music player blasted I Want You Back on loop for the past half hour.

Holly had shown Rue every outfit in her closet and introduced her to every doll in the dollhouse in the time she had been in the room. Holly had even agreed to let Rue do her hair, which she had decorated with two baby blue ribbons to match her skirt.

"What's your favourite song?" Holly jumps onto her bed. She rolls to her back and lets her head fall off the side, looking at Rue upside down as her hair cascades over the side of the bed. "I bet you probably like something Nancy does."

Rue leans back on her elbows, "What does Nancy like?"

Holly scrunches her nose, "I don't know. But I hear her play this one song all the time, it's about pains in Africa."

Rue can't help but snort, and she cups her hands to her mouth, "Oh, sorry," she giggles when Holly's eyes grow wide at the sound. "Yeah, that's a good song. Hmm, what is my favourite song?" Rue thinks aloud, and she smirks when Holly rolls her eyes impatiently. "I don't know. I like a lot of songs."

"But there has to be a song," Holly argues as she sits on her bed. "Everyone has a song."

There's a soft knock on the door before Rue can think of an answer. The two girls find Max standing in the doorway with an envelope in her hands and her backpack slung over her shoulders. She shifts nervously in her spot and looks back and forth between Rue and Holly.

Rue sits up straighter, her gaze fixed on the envelope. Her name is neatly written on it, and it reminds her of the letters Max used to write to her regularly before the mail stopped coming. Rue leans towards Holly's music player and turns it down.

"Max!" Holly scrambles off her bed and grins at the red-haired girl. "What's your favourite song? Rue says she doesn't have one, but I'm telling her everyone has one."

"Oh," Max tears her gaze away from Rue, and she looks at Holly. Her face softens, and a small smile grows on her lips. "Well, right now, I'm obsessed with Kate Bush and her song called Running Up That Hill."

Holly makes a face, "I've never heard of that one," she says, and before Max could say anything else, the girl skips toward her music player and turns it back up. Holly returns to dance carelessly as Rue slowly stands from the floor.

"Kate Bush?" She asks and eyes her old Walkman strapped to Max's hips. Rue walks up to her, her steps hesitant and slow as the memory of their fight still burns fresh in her mind, along with the nightmare, four blurred faces, broken bones, blood, cries and the house.

Rue draws in a deep breath while tucking her hands into the pockets of her jeans, trying not to sink back into the hysteria she endured hours before. Rue puts an awkward smile on her lips as she glances at Max, trying to ignore the sour thoughts in her head that Max had read all of her letters but had never replied to any of them, and here she stood before her with a letter in her hands.

Rue recalls that Max has been cursed by Vecna, and she is only hours away from suffering the same fate as Chrissy Cunningham and Fred Benson. Nancy and Robin were doing everything they could to seek a solution, but until then, they were all sitting ducks. Rue attempts to be compassionate.

"Kate Bush is cool," Max puffs out, and the two girls step into the hallway. "She's got cool songs."

"So I've heard," Rue nods, remembering Dustin's letter raving about Kate Bush being one of the best artists of the decade. Now that she thinks about it, Rue wonders if Dustin wrote that letter on his own because she didn't find a Kate Bush cassette in his room.

"Don't act shocked," Max scoffs, "you're the one who added her songs to the mixtape you gave me. If anything it's your fault."

Rue raises her brows, "It's my fault you found your favourite song?"

"You know what I meant."

"Do I?"

Max rolls her eyes with a scowl before handing Rue the envelope in her hands. "Here. I know it doesn't make up for the last three months or whatever... but it's just in case."

Rue takes the envelope from her hands and flinches when her fingers brush each other. The feeling lingers on her skin as she stares at her three-letter name scribbled on the brown paper.

Rue looks back up at Max again, "Just in case?"

Max's breath trembles as she nods slowly. Her gaze doesn't reach Rue's eyes, and she crosses her arms over her chest and picks at a loose thread on her blue jacket. "If things don't work out. If Nancy and Robin get to a dead end. Just stuff I wish I had the chance to say before I die a gruesome death, you know."

"Like an apology?"

Rue says it before she can stop herself. She doesn't mean it, and she's embarrassed when Max winces and nods. When silence falls around the two of them in the Wheeler's hallway, Rue's gaze returns to the letter. Holly's music is blasting through the walls, and her mind is racing with theories she can't keep up with.

Rue had wished for a letter from Max for three months, and now that she receives one, she feels as if it is scorching her hands.

"Come on," Max says, stumbling Rue out of her thoughts. "We're leaving."

Rue frowns, but she follows Max as she hurries down the stairs. "Where are we going?"

"Out."

When they get into the living room, she notices Lucas and Dustin frantically putting on their shoes and jackets while Steve is babbling about something. Ted Wheeler had gotten up from his chair and gone to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee to avoid them.

"Guys, stop it, come on." Steve tries and grabs Dustin's jacket to stop him, but Dustin pulls it back.

Rue looks for her converse, which she had left next to Lucas' sneakers the night before, but they're gone. That sensation she had that morning crawls up her throat again, stealing her breath. Rue had unknowingly clenched her fist around Max's letter, crushing it.

She finally finds them outside the Wheeler's backyard door, almost missing the red mark on the white wood. Rue comes back to the rest of her group and puts her shoes on, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. She pulls one of Nancy's jackets from the hangers and walks out the door with Lucas and Dustin.

The group walks at a quick pace, trying to keep up with Max's determined strides and Steve's hurried steps. Rue nearly trips over her undone shoelaces, and when Lucas laughs at her, she shoves his side.

"Max, seriously. Seriously, I'm not joking, okay? I'm not driving you anywhere." Steve says sternly.

"Steve, if you think I'm going to spend what is likely the last day of my life in the armpit that is Mike Wheeler's basement, then you're out of your mind," Max tells him as she nears his car. "So, you either take me where I need to go, or you're gonna have to tie me down, which is technically kidnapping of a minor. And if I live to see another day, Steve, I swear to God, I will prosecute."

Max stops before the car and tries to open the door. Once she realizes it's still locked, she turns to Steve and glares at him. "Open the door."

"Uh, no."

Max doesn't miss a beat, "I know a good lawyer."

Steve stares at her in disbelief for a long moment, and he shakes his head. He scoffs before digging into his pockets and pulling out his keys. As he unlocks the car, he points at Dustin, "Henderson, that super walkie of yours better reach Pennhurst."

The group rushes inside the red car without saying anything further. Lucas is seated between Rue and Max, while Dustin is seated in front of Steve. The boy changes radio stations till he comes to a stop on a rock song he recognizes, but Steve knocks his hand away from the console and changes the station to one with pop music.

For the entire ride to Max's trailer, Lucas leans on Rue's shoulder, fumbling with the letter Max gave him. Rue was doing the same thing as him, tracing the three letters of her name drawn on the brown paper, over and over again. She sent remorseful glances at Max, who had been staring out into space for the majority of the drive.

Steve stops at the trailer park, where one of them is still taped up with caution tape. The car parks before Max's trailer and the girl rushes to get out of the car with her bag before anyone has a chance to say anything. Steve manages to blurt out quick warnings, "This better be fast, Mayfield."

"Twenty seconds," She says, already slamming the car door shut and running up the steps to her home.

Steve turns to Dustin and glances at the walkie-talkie sticking out of his back, "That thing's got batteries in it, right?"

Dustin furrows his brows at Steve's question and shakes his head, "I'm not even answering that question."

Steve shifts in his seat and glances at Lucas and Rue in the back.

"Yes, it has batteries in it," Dustin scoffs.

"Yeah, I got it," Steve nods.

They sat in solitude once more, with nothing but the sound of a bird singing outside, the sun shining down on them, and the breeze from the open windows.

When Lucas shifts on her shoulder, Rue looks up, and he eventually lies back on the seat, slipping his letter into his pocket beside three others that were already jammed in there. They exchange a gaze of understanding before looking away.

Rue holds the letter in her hands, wondering if it provides all of the answers she craves. She can't get the bad taste out of her mouth after realizing she'd only get the answers when Max dies, that she'd have to wait for a funeral to be able to forgive her.

Rue didn't want to forgive a corpse and live to wonder what might have been; she wanted to forgive Max now and embrace the time they had left together without arguing.

She gradually comes to understand Vecna's curse. His victims were not chosen at random; they were people who had suffered, people who needed help because guilt had drowned them. Rue looks at Max's trailer, which is old and on the verge of falling apart, just like every other trailer. Max should have turned to her sooner, and instead of pushing her away, she should have clung to her like a bug. If Rue had known sooner, she would have helped.

Rue's eyes had been following a brilliant red ladybug climbing up a large leaf a few feet away. She leans against the open window, her arms as a pillow, squinting at the sun.

Steve became restless and exited the car, disregarding Dustin's complaint. "I don't like this," Steve grumbles, leaning on his car's roof.

"Maybe she's talking to her mom, or something," Lucas implies.

Steve moves nervously where he stands, but before he can storm up the stairs of the trailer and pound on the door, Max appears from around the house. Her tears had stained her cheeks, and her face had turned pale as if she'd seen a ghost. She searches for the car and slows down, taking a deep breath to relax.

Rue notices a box in her hands, which is covered with blue and green wrapping paper and stick-on gems that shimmer in the sunlight. The bow on top appears to be about to fall off, and there's a dent on the side that Max tries to cover with her hand as she approaches the car. Her backpack nearly falls off her shoulders, as the sun shines directly on her glossy eyes.

"Hey, that was longer than twenty seconds," Steve starts, but as Max comes closer, Steve sees the tears on her face, and he sputters. "Hey, whoa, whoa. 'You all right?"

"I'm fine. Just drive," Max rushes inside after opening the back door. As Max takes a seat next to her, Rue scrambles out of the way and shoves Lucas aside. Everyone flinches when she slams the door shut.

"Did something happen?" Lucas and Dustin ask at the same time.

"Can we please just go?" Max asks, her voice wavering and broken.

Steve doesn't waste any time and drives away from the trailer park. Max avoids everyone's piercing stares and forces herself to look out the window, where she can see the trees blur on the outskirts.

Rue can't help but stare at the box in Max's hands. Max's fingers curl the ends of the bow and trace over the gems, as she stares. The box itself appeared to have been adorned by the three-year-old, and Rue was well aware that art had never been one of Max's strong suits.

Rue was aware that something had occurred while Max was inside. Everyone in the damned car knew it, for fucks sake. The difference was that Rue didn't have to push herself to feel Max's panic and fear, which streamed out in massive, throbbing waves. Rue nearly suffocated in them, and she wished Steve could roll down a window as a thin line of blood made its way to her nose.

Rue acts before she can stop herself, and her fingers brush over the back of Max's hand. Max flinches, and her eyes flicker from the window and land on Rue, who is already looking at her. Rue's lips twitch at the corners before twisting to a soft smile as her hand slowly grasps Max's, lacing their fingers together.

She tells her, her voice echoing gently in her head.

Max nods, her eyes dropping from Rue's gaze to stare at their interlocked hands, where soft strings of glowing gold and blue wrapped around them. Warmth slowly spreads from her hand to her arm and eventually her whole body and soul. Whatever fear and panic Max had running through her mind slowly vanishes the longer she holds onto Rue, and it all disappears.

Rue slowly lets go of her hand, missing the way Max's pinkie twitches to chase after her touch and hold on a little longer.

Max isn't sure of what else to say.

Rue shrugs,

Steve had driven into a neighbourhood that had not been on Max's itinerary for the day. He pulls the keys out of the ignition and parks the car in Dustin Henderson's empty driveway before turning to face the kids in the backseat. He looks worriedly at Max before his gaze shifts to Rue, who sits in the centre. "Your meds, what pocket did you leave them in?"

Rue can feel the heat of embarrassment blossoming on her cheeks because the bottles were stuffed with her socks, underwear and other female necessities she didn't want Steve looking at. "I can get them myself."

"Uh, you're not going alone."

"I figured, thanks, mom."

A fresh breath of last March air blew against their faces as Dustin, Lucas, and Rue began to make their way out of Steve's car. Dustin got out first, digging into his bag for his house keys, and Lucas slid out right after. "We'll be quick," Rue promised as she took the helpful hand Lucas offered.

The three of them walked inside when Dustin opened the front door. As they entered his room, he stated that his mother was at work for the majority of the week. At first glance, nothing seemed out of the ordinary in Dustin's bedroom, and Rue went directly to her suitcase beside the closet.

There was a soft hum of the heater as Rue unzipped the bag and dug through her things. She reached for a pair of unicorn socks, and Rue was suddenly aware of Lucas and Dustin's footsteps behind her. With warm cheeks, Rue pulled out the two orange bottles from the stockings, hoping neither boys had seen the sparkly socks nor the bra that had fallen out of the suitcase while she was moving things around.

The pills in the bottle rattle while she closes her suitcase again. Rue hears Lucas and Dustin mutter in a quiet conversation behind her, but their voices drown away when she spots a red stain contrasting against the yellow fabric of her suitcase.

Rue runs her fingers over the dry colour she's never seen before and stumbles to her feet. Behind her, she hears Dustin mutter about his open window above his bed. "Wasn't like that yesterday." He looks at Lucas and asks, "Did you leave it open?"

"No, I don't think so," He says.

Dustin hops onto his bed to close the window, leaving Rue by Lucas' side. Before cursing, the boy freezes and rubs his finger against the white frame of the glass. "There's blood on the glass." He tells his friends and then gasps, "Oh my God!" Dustin begins to climb through the window, his torso jutting out till his feet dangle in the air.

Lucas and Rue's eyes widen at the sight of Dustin nearly falling out the window, and they jump onto the bed, grabbing onto his legs before he slips out. "Dustin!" Lucas shouts, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I almost got it! Push me a little bit."

"What?!" Rue exclaims, holding onto his ankles.

"Push my bottom!"

"We're not pushing your butt!" Lucas tells him.

"Push it!"

Lucas and Rue share a restless glance before doing what they were told. They push Dustin's butt, and the boy practically falls out of the window before he's shouting at them to pull him back, his teenage voice loud and cracking with every word. "Bring me back! Back! Back! Ouch! Which one of you pinched me?! My ass!"