this dream isn't feeling sweet

✧

RUE WASN'T ONE TO question things when they happened. Sure, she'd wonder about it for a while, but she would end up brushing it off after a day. But she did question only two things.

One: if Max Mayfield could be an angel fallen from the heavens, who was there to protect Rue no matter what. She wonders how the girl could pull her away from the thoughts that darkened her mind, how Max could then take over her feelings like a virus — but a good virus. There was nothing Maxine Mayfield could do that wouldn't cause a family of butterflies to circle her stomach — and Rue questioned if what happened that night of the cabin was real or just a dream. Did they actually kiss? God, she hoped so.

Rue also questioned when Will and Alex would admit their feelings for each other. But she wasn't going to rush them, not wanting to seem like a hypocrite in her brother's eyes. They liked each other, and everyone could see it — was it the same with Max and Rue?

Nah.

. . . Probably.

How could it be that she was saved by her dead mother in the woods? Now, that was a question that Rue would think about forever. She felt like the answer was at the tip of her tongue. Maybe it wasn't her. Rue had said before that she feared her powers would take over her. That she won't be able to control them. . . but she was doing well so far — yet it was only time until she'd break.

With these powers, could Rue manipulate people? What if she had been doing that without knowing? What if all those times she's asked someone for something they did it because she had somehow set them under a spell —? No, that's not how it works . . . or was it?

What if she blew up this whole mall? No, Rue doesn't think like that. But she could. . .

And then there was the Mindflayer. Since it had stretched into her mind (thanks to El,) could it be listening to what she was thinking? Could the Mindflayer be controlling Rue at this exact moment? What if brought out a side of her she didn't know she had — just like it had at Sky's house — when Rue had nearly killed David or that time in the sauna test. There was so much to think about, and her mind became muddled with questions and new theories.

Could the Mindflayer be reaching into the farthest pits of her mind, watching her memories like a show on T.V? What if it had discovered a weakness in Rue she didn't know of? Could it have already found where they were — only waiting for the best time to crash into the mall and kill everyone?

How many was that? I think it was more than two. . . . Maybe Rue questioned more things than she thought she had.

She looked at herself in a mirror, and she gave herself one hard stare. It had been a while since Rue had looked at herself. She could barely recognize the person before her. And maybe she looked just like she did every day, but there was something that was bugging her when she looked at her reflection.

As Rue stared at herself, she picked out every little detail; her upper right cheekbone, where a greenish purplish bruise seemed to be getting worse; the thin cut above her eyebrow; the bandaid on her left cheek and the big dirty gauze that covered half of her forehead.

Her face was dirty, and there were remains of ash and dust all around her. Rue looked at her hands, and they were as dirty as her hair. She turned on the sink, trying to get all the dirt off her. Rue cleaned under her nails and rubbed soap all the way to her elbows. With wet hands, she began to pull off the bandages on her face, and once they were off, she washed her face — a sudden urge to be clean was dominating all her movements until she was trying to get the dry blood out of her hair.

It had been a long night — and Rue knew that it wasn't anywhere near to ending.

Rue pulled out about five paper towels from the dispenser, wiping her face and hands. She had almost slipped when she walked back to the sinks, and when Rue looked down, she saw the mess she had made on the bathroom floor. Rue shrugged it off, being careful not to slip this time. Starcourt's bathroom was already dirty anyway.

Rue ran a hand through her wet hair, blinking rapidly. Her cuts were burning and stinging from the soap and fresh air, but she pushed the pain aside. Another thought skipped into her mind.

With power came responsibility. It was a cliché saying, yet Rue couldn't help but believe it. Her back was sore, and her shoulders were tense from the sudden pressure she realized she had on her. If El couldn't save everyone — she had to. And Rue really didn't want to.

Rue has seen El when she uses her abilities intensely. She drains faster than she usually does, and sometimes she'd pass out for half an hour. Eleven had a limit. And Rue wondered if she did too.

Clearly, she hasn't hit that limit yet, but she was frightened for what would happen when she did.

But, Rue wondered, shouldn't I have gotten tired? Just a little? And then she realized that after the explosion she had made, Rue should have collapsed after that. She knew, and she wondered if El was thinking about that too. That was the most amount of power Rue has ever collected, and she should have been knocked out cold after that. Maybe a little lightheaded. Even when she had put the cabin back to how it was — Rue had gotten nothing but a small nosebleed.

What Rue had no limits? No, she had to — what if the Mindflayer was taking the pain for her? — Now she was thinking like a maniac. However, it could be possible. No. . . . ?

If Rue had no limits, that made her twice as dangerous as she was before. She was a firework if you get too close. . . Rue was a firework ready to explode. And she had a feeling it won't be as pretty as fireworks look in the midnight sky on the Fourth of July.

This isn't fair. Rue was just a kid. Why would Emilia, her own mother, give her these powers when she can't balance them? Rue was just a kid. She shouldn't be here, and she shouldn't be fighting monsters from a different world. Rue should be at the fair, eating cotton candy and going on rides until she felt sick. She was only fourteen. Rue was just a kid.

A soft click and the sound of one of the stall doors opening brought Rue back to reality. She watched as Max stepped out of the stall from the mirror, and the two girls shared a broken smile.

Max washed her hands on the sink next to Rue and asked, "How are you feeling?"

Rue placed both hands on the edge of the sink, and she gripped it tightly as she leaned forwards and sighed. "Tired."

Max chuckled and nodded, "Yeah, me too."

Her hands were slipping on the stone sink, and she stood, rubbing her eyes. It felt like something stuck in Rue's throat, it was burning, and she fought the tears that wanted to fill her eyes. "Max?" She called quietly, staring at the girl from the mirror.

"Mhm?" She hummed, drying her hands.

Rue chewed on her lip, "It feels scary getting old."

Max turned to look at her, the two no longer sharing eye contact from their reflections. She tilted her head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"If — if this is how our lives are as kids. . . can't you help but think about how they might be when we're older?

Max stayed silent, not knowing what to say. However, there was a look in her eyes that told Rue she was thinking somewhat the same thing. It drove her crazy getting old when they didn't get the chance to enjoy their childhood as they should be. They should be sharing beds like little kids and laughing until their ribs hurt.

Rue was on the brink of bursting into tears. "I want to leave."

Max was caught off guard at this and she nearly stumbled as if the air had been punched out of her chest. "What? You want to leave? Why?"

"Why?" Rue scoffed. "Why do I want to leave?" She was raising her voice, and Rue had never raised her voice at Max before. But she couldn't help it. Her emotions were getting the best of her, and Rue couldn't hold it back. And she wanted to punch herself for letting her anger out on Max, and she didn't deserve that.

"Rue, where would you go?" Max asked, crossing her arms. "Hmm?"

Rue shut her mouth, and her heart dropped. "I just — I don't want —" she sighed, looking down at her dirty shoes. Rue's lip was quivering as she spoke, "I just thought, we could leave — the both of us. We could get away from this shitty town and its shitty monsters and shitty people and—"

Rue stopped talking when she felt two arms wrap around her. Max squeezed her tightly, and there was so much emotion in her hug that had Rue's knees weak. Max played with her hair and whispered in her ear. "We can't," she said sadly. "We can't leave them."

"I know. . ." Rue mumbled, holding Max in her arms. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she nodded softly. "I know."

Max gradually pulled away, and Rue could smell cheap hand soap and Max's strawberry and peach-scented shampoo. She closed her eyes, savouring the feeling of Max's hands trailing from her shoulders to the back of her neck and into her hair. Rue leaned to her touch, every tense muscle in her body had relaxed, and Rue suddenly felt like jelly. For a moment, she feared her knees would buckle, and she'd collapsed on the ground, but knowing Max was there to catch her, Rue wasn't worried.

Her eyes were getting heavy, and Rue could have fallen asleep. Well — she could have if it wasn't for the nose that brushed with hers.

Rue was quickly wide awake, watching Max's movements carefully as the girl turned bright red and backed away. "Sorry," she said shyly, a new trait Rue didn't know she had. Max Mayfield was fierce and intimidating, ambitious — that's what she wanted people to know her as. However, Rue knew her as so much more than who she was on the outside. She knew Max to be caring and admirable, understanding, ethereal, sensitive — loving. There weren't enough words in the dictionary for Rue.

"I thought—" Max continued, her eyebrows frowning as she stared at the floor. "Um, I'm sorry."

Rue blinked a couple of times before she realized what Max's intentions were. She began to blush brightly, her eyes were wide, and a small grin was growing on her face. Rue bounced in her spot for a moment before rushing towards Max, cupping her freckled cheeks and kissing her softly.

It was softer than feathers, and Rue was tender. She always was — especially towards Max.

Max had barely caught herself from the pleasant surprise, and she stumbled back a little until their lips parted, and Rue's hands slipped from her cheeks. The two girls looked at each other, their eyes wide and dazed. Before Rue could say anything, Max smiled brightly and giggled.

She giggled! Max Mayfield was not the one to giggle like a little girl. But Rue had her enchanted — even when it could be the end of the world as she knew it — Max was a giggly nervous wreck for the girl who stood before her. And if it had been anyone, else they would have thought she's gone crazy — maybe Max has gone crazy — crazy in love — but with Rue, Max knew she didn't have to build walls anymore. She could be herself because Rue was her best friend, her crush, her everything.

Max ran up to Rue again, wrapping her arms around her neck and bringing her in for another kiss. This one was different from the one they shared minutes ago — it was different from the one they shared the night before. This one was filled with passion and need. It had desperation, and for a moment, it felt like it might be a goodbye kiss.

They usually said you'd feel sparks on your first kiss with the one, but it took Rue and Max three times before they felt the little sparkling beginning to grow at the pit of their stomachs. Their noses would bump into each other as their lips moved at an uneven pace. It wasn't perfect — it wasn't a kiss like the ones in the movies — it was unpatterned and a little awkward. But to them — no matter how many times their teeth could collide together — it was perfect. Because that's what they are, a little awkward and a little messy.

And maybe it was inappropriate for the two girls to be hiding in the bathroom of Starcourt, stealing kisses while everyone outside waited for them so they could come up with a plan to save Hawkins, possibly the whole world. But they didn't care. In fact, to them, there was no one else waiting for them. It was just Max and Rue.

Besides, it wasn't every day you'd get to kiss the girl of your dreams.

Their feet shuffled beneath them, and they stumbled around the bathroom, bumping into sinks and stall doors. And finally, they had slipped on the small puddle Rue had made earlier, sending both girls to the ground.

They were forced to pull away and try to catch themselves but failed horribly. Rue and Max were sprawled on the bathroom floor, staring at the fluorescent lights on the roof, trying to process what had just happened.

Rue slowly sat up, turning to look at Max, who was already sitting. The two girls shared a simple looked of confusion before they had burst into laughter. Even though they were on the dirty bathroom floor, Rue cherished this moment as one she wouldn't want to forget.

They had instantly stopped laughing at the sound of something hitting the bathroom door. Rue and Max quickly stood up, watching the door shake at whatever kept beating it. Rue's blood went cold — how long had they been in there? Could it have been the monster?

Her shoulders relaxed when she heard Alex's voice from the other side. It was loud and worried. Max playfully rolled her eyes and stepped forward to unlock the door to the ladies' bathroom and opened it.

Rue's jaw dropped at the sight of the door. The bat with nails had gotten stuck to the front side of the door, and Alex had a bright red face of embarrassment.

"What did you do?" Max asked, a chuckle bubbling in her voice as she pulled the bat out of the door.

Alex ran a hand through his hair. "It's a lot heavier than I thought. I saw it just sitting there on the floor next to the bathrooms — so I tried to pick it up and . . . wow. . . the girls' bathroom is a lot better than the boys'."

Rue tried not to laugh, but she couldn't help it. She was already so ecstatic, and it was hard to hold it back.

Alex pointed his thumb behind him, "I thought you guys were just going to freshen up. They're waiting y'know."

"Can't they wait a little longer?" Max requested, a hopeful glint in her eyes as she glanced at Rue, who smiled and hugged herself sheepishly.

Alex narrowed his eyebrows and looked between the two girls cautiously. "You guys have all the time in the world to make-out after everything is over." That was all he said before turning around and walking back outside.

（ ₊˚. ✰┊📼 ! ）

"It was like this big —" Lucas opened his arms as wide as he could, explaining how enormous the monster that attacked them was to the two groups who weren't with them to see it. "It was huge and destroyed everything — like — crash!"

"Boom," Rue added, making a hand motion to present an explosion.

Lucas smirked, pointing at her and nodding. "Boom."

Hopper looked between the two in confusion, and he rubbed his hands over his face tiredly. He had dark bags under his eyes and clearly had a long few days just as everyone else had. There were bruises on his arm, and Rue wondered who Hopper had gotten to a fight with this time. "Okay," He mumbled, "but what does it want? How —"

Alex had cut him off, looking up at Lucas from where he sat. "Tell them about the hospital!"

Lucas beamed and nodded his head. "Right! Okay, so at the hospital — we had a plan to go to visit one of the Flayed — Alex's neighbour —"

"I'm Alex," he raised his hand, just in case no one knew.

"Yes, he's Alex — so—" Lucas continued, "The lady said only two visitors so we had to wait downstairs while they let Mrs. Driscol go so she could lead us to the source—"

"The source is where the monster was being built," Will explained, "If we got there and destroyed it, we could have defeated the monster. But since there's a new gate—" He looked at Dustin, who nodded in confirmation, "—right so, If we close the Gate like last year, we can kill the monster."

"So the problem is—" Rue started, "People have to stop opening these Gates."

"Back to what I was saying—" Lucas muttered, clearly annoyed with everyone interrupting him. "We were waiting for Nancy and Jonathan to come back, right? But then, Will feels something funny. . . oh no! What could it be? We asked him what's wrong and he said . . . 'he's activated,' —"

"No!" Mike chimed in, "He said that in the sauna test! With Billy!"

"Oh right!" Lucas slapped his hand to his forehead.

Steve narrowed his eyebrows, looking between all the kids. "Billy? What does Billy have to do with it?"

"Oh, he's possessed by the Mindflayer like Will was last year," Alex explained, "And this girl, Sky—"

Robin's eyes widened, and her cheeks went red for a moment. "You guys know Sky?"

Max and Rue shared a knowing look before nodding. "Yeah—"

"If you were friends with her before — good luck with that — she nearly killed Rue—" Lucas tried to say.

"She did what?"

"Who is Sky?"

"Can I finish?" Lucas exclaimed, "I'm not done!" He huffed, looking between his friends, who instantly shut up. "Alright! So, we ran out of the waiting room to find Sky there — I'm pretty sure she came to melt into the monster that nearly killed Nancy—"

"What nearly killed Nance—?"

" — So — We didn't know Sky was Flayed, right? Rue and Max said she was their friend —"

"We didn't — " Max tried to say, rubbing her eyes, drained from Lucas' storytelling.

"SO THEN — " Lucas glared at her before speaking, "We ran up stairs to find Nancy trapped in a room with this monster made out of human flesh, it towered over Nancy — roaring and screeching. El was a fucking badass and flung that shit out the window. And we all ran out to see it melting in the sewer drain. . . leaving nothing but bones. . ."