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╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗

No hello?

Who have you become

Damn, I brought this upon myself

What do you need Spandex-Boy

Ok, Spandex-Boy

I won't call you Spandex-Boy

I don't think Karen would like to be called that

Good for her

You said patrol was boring, right?

Some random kid that lives by me is having a birthday party

I'm pretty sure he likes Spider-Man

You should go and crash the party

No it isn't

Free cake

Good publicity

Trust me, as the Avengers' self proclaimed PR manager, I think you should crash the kids party

Yeah

I can hear the kids screaming

The parents are chill though

Suddenly I think it's a bad idea

You got me there

Once you're there, I'll head over

I don't know

Maybe Timmy or something generic like that

Oh my god! Timmy!

TiMmY!

I can see every equation!

He's about this tall, clearly gay but we haven't had the talk!

TiMmY?!

Find a rock and write happy birthday on it

I think he would like it

Then don't bring anything

Just show up like you were meant to come

Hey! Don't come at me like that

You've done a lot of stupid shit

This wouldn't even make the top 100

I do it out of love

Also, I like making people suffer

Do you think my parents would be mad if I take one of their unopened wine bottles and give it to the kid's parents as a peace offering?

I'm going to give them some wine

It sounds like they might need it

I think they'll like it

I was going to give the kids some stickers but I can't find any

A post-it note that has a cursed drawing on it and says big boi would work fine instead, right?

Shrek wearing a bikini

It's the only thing I have!

Genius!

Did you decide if you wanted to bring anything

Yikes

Is your suit hot?

Wicked

You should put like some clothes over it then

I think it would be fun

It would make up for your lack of gifts

I am bringing wine and my work of art!

That sounds good

Didn't Harley give that to you?

Nice

Don't button it up

Also wear a bucket hat if you have one

It'll really pull the look together

New York fashion week will have some competition

Spider-Man wearing an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and a bucket hat swinging through New York is definitely a sight

Well, I'm hungry so hurry up

I want my free food

Good!

See you then, Spandex-Boy

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╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗

sᴇᴇɴ 𝟹:𝟻𝟸 ᴘᴍ