《To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)》✆ 𝚃𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚌 ✆
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╔ Regular- ned ╗
Welcome to operation get my 2 loser friends together
Because I know about
e v e r y t h i n g
ɴᴇᴅ ɴᴀᴍᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴠᴇʀsᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏᴘᴇʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛɪᴛᴀɴɪᴄ
When the princess of Wakanda stans you... can't relate
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me
Yo tell the story about how you became Stark's sugar baby
Ok ok ok ok ok so... we're going to get (y/n) and peter together
This is where we make our battle plans
Nobody can tell them about this because it's top secret
"wouldn't u like to know"
Um yes I would like to know, thank you very much
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I'm scrolling through the comments and people are actually calling him a pretty boi wtf
SHURI NO
I don't know what language girls speak
Sorry
It's kind of her thing
You took one for the team. Your contribution will be remembered greatly
I question that everyday. I swear they can tell me that they know world renowned ex neurosurgeon Stephen Strange and I would believe them
Wait he's a wizard now?
ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ 𝟷𝟶:𝟹𝟽 ᴀᴍ
Asdfghjkl guys another video is being posted today!!
The disrespect
Than you'd be missing out
Please don't. I don't want my chat to be the reason you die
NOTHING
THERES NOTHING TO KNOW
ʜᴀʀʟᴇʏ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴠᴇʀsᴀᴛɪᴏɴ
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We tried, you know… We really did. We tried so hard to be… better… We actually were better once. No, seriously. We were enlightened, generous, peaceful… Stop laughing! We were! We were peaceful, dammit! No, I’m not “tugging your winglets.” It’s true! Look, if you’re going to be like that, I’ll just push the launch button right now. See ya, don’t wanna be… Oh, you ARE interested after all? Ok. Hey, I just got word that your captain will be ok. We were able to get him into a med pod quick enough… Of course, we tried to save him. Just what sort of people do you think we are?... Now that was harsh… completely accurate, mind you… but harsh. Anyway, like I was saying, we were a prosperous, peaceful people, and war had been nothing but a distant memory for over five hundred years before it happened... Before Yellowstone happened! You don’t mean to tell me that you didn’t know about that… massive supervolcano? Blew the Hell out of our planet? Two years where nothing grew?… Anyway, that’s what started it, the Sol Wars… Oh, you have heard about those, huh? Well, needless to say, all that enlightened, generous, and peaceful didn’t exactly make it through the two years of complete famine and the wars that followed… Maybe it’s more accurate to say the enlightened, generous, and peaceful among us didn’t survive… (laughs)… You’re right. It does explain a lot, doesn’t it? Probably for the best, though. “Enlightened” and “peaceful” aren’t really all that useful out here in the galaxy at large, are they? That reminds me; thanks for the ship. You guys did a great job with this one. Oh, don’t be like that. At least it was us what got you and not one of the really messed groups like the Harlequin or the Black Angels. We’re just going to take your shit. It could be worse… trust me... Well, anyway, we loaded the life pods down with some good food, and you guys can drink alcohol, right? We put in a couple of fifths in there, too. It’s about forty percent ethanol, so be warned. Most species will want to dilute that. We’ll drop your wounded off somewhere safe once they are stable. Your fleet patrols this area fairly regularly, and we’ll drop the distress beacon right before we jump… Well, It’s been fun and no hard feelings, right?… Oh, you want to know some more? Sure. I got time to kill… Let me tell you about this one pirate and her crew. They’re Terran scum, but they are still… Why do we hate the Terrans? Hoo Boy… How much time you got? *** It’s the thirty-second century, and humanity is now part of a galactic civilization comprised of hundreds of worlds. Humanity has been savaged by natural disaster and war and has been fractured into several separate populations, all of which loathe each other (some things never change). This is a gritty drama-driven rambling tale that swings between action, drama, horror, and plenty of very, very dark comedy. Warning: contains adult situations, absolutely horrible language, bathroom humor, implied ultra-violence, actual ultra-violence, drugs, alcohol, pirates, mercs, xeno prostitutes, moral ambiguity, deranged AI's with identity issues, giant commie space slugs, and a poor little frog girl who just wants to sell coffee. Updates twice weekly on Tuesday and Friday. *** Note: This story can get rough. Those warning tags? They aren't for show. I recently received a review and as a result I want to make one thing clear. Portraying something is NOT endorsing it! Many "heavy" topics are touched upon and just because a character says or does something does not imply that the author feels the same way. I selected the "Anti-Hero Lead" and "Villainous Lead" tags for a reason. Rule number one of this story is "no good guys". A good description of the story is, "bad people doing bad things to worse people". There are a few good characters, here and there, but they are the exception to the rule. If you want a hard-hitting, exciting, gritty sci-fi story that doesn't pull any punches, or shies away from "difficult" concepts, welcome! If you are set on a pure and noble knight that runs around and slays conveniently evil monsters and rescues totally innocent princesses... or your sensibilities are easily offended... You're not going to be happy with this one.
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