《To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)》✆ 𝙵•𝚁•𝙸•𝙴•𝙽•𝙳•𝚂 ✆
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╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
When air is edible, then we'll talk
According to Newton's third law of me not giving a fack, I legally have to kill you now
HUH?
What, no!
Who told you that?
Even if I was, how is it any of your business?
Who told you, Eugene?
You mean Ned?
You didn't hear this from me, but I'm going to murder him
And why exactly?
Psh, that's not true
I liked you better when you were an asshole
That's better
Ew, you caring about my personal life disgusts me... tell me more
I think you're bearable too, but then again I constantly want to kick your ass out of a second story window
Really? Is that so?
How dare you invoke the name of my ancestors, young sir
The next time I see you, I'm punching you in the face
Deal? What deal?
ARE WE GOING TO PLAY DEAL OR NO DEAL?!
Who says they already haven't, and that I'm just a very beautiful zombie living the best life a resurrected body can live
You're just jealous that I'm prettier as a zombie than you are as a living person
I hate me too
Yeah I'm currently being a depressed bitch because that merc with a mouth, Deadpool, told me and the Avengers some devastating news yesterday
You have to be a level 10 friend to learn about my grievances
You're like a 1.5
I intended it to
I'll only allow you to do that if you stop harassing Peter about his internship being fake
Um, yes I do
I have photographic evidence
I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me
Ok, I sent it
Later
✆✆
╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
There's many more pictures but here's 2
You asked for them
You're on thin fcking ice
No
wHy Do YoU hAtE mE
✆✆
╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
Ａｖｅｎｇｅｒｓ ＡＳＳ-ｅｍｂｌｅ🍑
It's neither of you hoes
Dramatic bitch
Does that mean Vision is my brother now?
OH MY GOD THAT MEANS WANDA AND I ARE SISTER IN LAWS
Literal children
Jet-powered roller skates
Even I knew, Steven
🔫
Pretty sure it's just you 4
👌✨
Obviously
What movie should I bring? Shrek or Shrek?
You have food or should I bring some because I don't want to like die of starvation
Lol guess what? Flashole and I are now 1.5 level friends
I convinced him you had the Stark internship by sending him those pics of Toe Knee and you
Peter I'm bringing my dog because I can
My beautiful chauffeur 💕
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