《To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)》✆ 𝙰 𝙻𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙼𝚎𝚜𝚜 ✆
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╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
Yes
I'm loaded now🤑🤑
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Tony Stark who? I only know (Y/n) (L/n)
Jokes on you. I disowned myself 30 years ago
You can't tell me how to live my life
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╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
What if dinosaurs just feel from the sky because God was done with human kind's bullshit
Cool
I wonder what the afterlife is like
Is there even an afterlife?
What if after death there's just nothing? Like your conscious just ceases to exist? Maybe it's like an endless void of nothingness
The whole universe is a lie. We're all just the pawns of God's so called game of life
Is there even a God? What is life? Maybe I'm in a coma and this is all one big dream and I'm actually a 72 year old ex male stripper who was in a fatal submarine explosion
HoW dO yOu KnOw ThAt, PeTeR
If that's even your name!?!!?!
For all I know you're one of them
DiNoSaUrS
Like imagine the first person to ever find a dinosaur fossil. They were probably like Wot the faq is dis humongo meat stick doing in de ground
Nay
What is this Engoulish you speak of?
Innocent till proven guilty or as I like to call it a virtuous angle till Satan's corruption rots the judge's brain, effectively sending you your new home: the 7 layered cake of hell
Sometimes I worry about yours because who in their right mind wears spandex to fight crime
HAHAHAHAHA
WHAT
I WOULD NEVER
I'm not lying, you're lying
😒
Don't you use that tone on me, BOY
Tough luck, boo
Don't think Bucky really cares all that much about you no offense
BuT i SaId No OfFeNsE
You know how you're Spider-Man, right?
So this just got me thinking
Besides the Avengers, do you know any other "famous" people
I want to steal their friendships away from you and make them my friendships
I want an army of famous friends
Like the Avengers have pretty much adopted me at this point because Natasha is like my mother now and Thor practically just adopted me into the Asgardian way of life and Sam and Bucky are like my biggest fans??
How'd you know I was a pig???!!
Tell Sam I said hi
Ok, so who are your other famous friends
ASDFGHJKL
OH MY THOR YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH SHURI?!?!!! GIVE ME HER NUMBER BITCH
Idk man. She's a princess and you just gave a lowly civilian her number. She might have you executed
Now so long, I have a princess to become friends with!!
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Short and cute
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