《To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)》✆ 𝙲𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎 𝚂𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝙴𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚜 ✆
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╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
I think baseball hats are magical
Like when I wear baseball hats I'm suddenly like 1000x hotter
Which is saying something because without a baseball hat I'm as pretty as a blob fish
Blaze it!
Kidding!
Don't do drugs, kids
Drugs are bad
You answered
Don't blame me
I'm just the innocent bystander
Eh, whatever helps you sleep at night I guess
I came out here to have a good time and, honestly, I'm feeling so attacked right now
Suck my dick, Parker
So what I'm hearing is that if I had one, you would suck it
Like how I put my oh so real dick in it
So, back to why I called you!
Baseball hats are like a gift from the heavens
I put one on and then I'm suddenly Aphrodite
Because I haven't slept in like three days and have consumed maybe twenty-seven cups of coffee within that period of time
I JUST ORDERED A SHIT LOAD OF HATS OFF OF AMAZON!
PETER, BE PROUD OF ME!
But, Peter, baseball hats!
So I've been told
So long, loser
Hope you rot in hell
✆✆
╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
Oops
That depends on how you look at the situation
So like I was in ap chem doing my lab like the good student I am
Peter, shut up and let me speak
As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, I was finishing up the equations while my partner went to get the chemicals we needed
So when they came back, they poured one chemical into the beaker and I poured in the other one because teamwork!
Turns out they grabbed the wrong chemical and boom! We're in quarantine
I am confusion
I should probably check out of this conversation but like... I'm intrigued
Just gonna put this out there but we're free now
And the other kid is getting a week detention apparently. I'm in the clear
No jail for me!
I NEED EVERYONE TO LISTEN UP
Yes or no. Do baseball hats make people hotter?
Yes this again
Ok nvm. The queens have spoken so I've concluded that the answer is yes
I've have drank 35 cups of coffee within the past 4 or so days
It's a skill I possess
My claim that I'm Asgardian has finally been proven!
⚡️⚡️
Yup! It's me, Peter, and our friend Ned!
Good
O.o
Did you just admit that Thor is better than you?!
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- In Serial167 Chapters
Binary Soul
So let's say there's this girl. A young girl who happens to be a highly-trained, psionically-gifted, nanite-infused, genetically-enhanced and emotionally unstable assassin that doesn't know the concept of 'mercy' or 'holding back.' Let's say she and her imaginary friend miraculously pass through the borders of reality into an alternate universe, crash landing into a world of swords and magic aboard a starship full of high-tech wonders. Now, let's also say the first person this borderline psychopath meets happens to be her doppelganger - a highly gifted mage who happens to have a few problems of her own, like a bad temper or a bad habit of chronic self-delusion. With me so far? Good. Now, what's the on the agenda for these two different people who happen to be the same person? Settle down, start a family and thoroughly enjoy life. Maybe get married and have some kids. How about befriending a violent alcoholic or defeating an ancient evil being? Perhaps kill a few dragons and wreck a city along the way. Anything can happen around the city of Runetap, after all. It's a place where bizarre and strange things occur on an almost weekly basis. The people living there have long abandoned silly things like common sense or minding the details. A giant flaming UFO streaks above the city in broad daylight? That's just another Tuesday. The City Guard even had the form for that, so believe me when I say this. It's your loss if you mind it. This is the light-hearted and fluffy tale of Ellie and Kira as they forge their own path of absurdity and crazyness across a world that often makes little sense. Loosely inspired by the Discworld series of books by Terry Pratchett, even though the author hasn't actually read any of them. Contains yuri, mature themes and the author's personal views on several subjects. Explicit content is kept to a minimum.Does NOT contain slavery, rape, drugs or any other similarly heavy themes.
8 209 - In Serial6 Chapters
Radioactive Evolution
How far would you go to change humanity's fate? Jared Cartwright has spent the last two years delving into the twisted, scarred wastelands of an earth ravaged by nuclear war. The rich and powerful have taken to the oceans and skies on floating utopias, escaping destruction and leaving the rest of humanity to fend off the mutated creatures that roam the earth.To face his new reality, Jared must become an apex predator if he hopes to survive. He must unlock his true potential to confront those that left mankind to die. With deadly adversaries above and below, Jared must evolve beyond mere human limitations to defeat the powerful rulers of the cities and the rabid beasts lurking in the shadows.Jared's quest takes a new turn when he discovers dragons are real.
8 117 - In Serial40 Chapters
Monstrous (First Draft)
An old monster awakens in a new world, and he is very hungry. I just wanted to say this is pretty much my first continuous story and I'm still experimenting and figuring things out.
8 137 - In Serial14 Chapters
Coronation Day
In the capital of Alhamkara, Princess Keiko prepares for her marriage to Lord Torando, a political union to secure the peace and prosperity of her kingdom. It is her hope that a sacrifice of her own freedom will help usher in a new golden age, an era in which some of the greatness of humanity, now vanished, may be recaptured. Unfortunately, masked men from the underbelly of society tend not to care about the machinations of kings and queens. Join me in this ongoing tale of adventure, action, romance, and drama as Keiko takes her life into her own hands... or paws.
8 178 - In Serial24 Chapters
ALL HAIL THE VAMPIRE KING
The king of beasts stands on a high mountain, claws out ready to pounce on his unsuspecting enemies. His long cloak flaps wildly in the wind. In a cave, dragons sleep soundly after a wild mating session. Their very breath brings woes to mortals. In a forgotten highland, titans and giants wage a never ending war, their very step shaking the earth. And in a dark place, a creature is born, no goals in mind but doomed for greatness. ............ *Warning* Start might be slow. ........ A/N It is my second month since I got into writing, I'd like to say I'm better than when I started and will only get better. English is my second language so please help me whenever you see fit. I found the cover randomly, if the owner wants it removed or credit please pm me
8 238 - In Serial6 Chapters
Fragment of a Dragon Soul
eX-0281 is a sub-dragon, a basic enemy grunt subject to a terrible workplace. All he looks forward to is an afternoon spent basking under his heat lamp after work. Life is good. That is until... the power goes off. Any dragon would be outraged if his heat lamp went out! When eX-0281 decides to investigate, he meets a fellow clone. Together, they hatch a lizard-brained scheme to leave the company. But if they want freedom, they must escape the underground city first.... Fragment of a Dragon Soul is set in the futuristic world of Burden of a Fire Dragon! Release Schedule: Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 9:00 PM EST. Cover Art by the author.
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