; Stanley the manly man I need to talk to you

; can u talk to bill?

; no, this is a problem for my best friend to solve.

; oh no.

; oh yes.

; ugh whats the problem

; i have nothing to do

; what the fuck richard

; Richie*

; nope.

; i was just kidding idk if i can tell u the real problem

; wh- just tell me

; idk stan

; how are you doing today

; im just lovey-dovey, bitch

; rEALLY?

; no, how do you think i am

; in a bad mood

; just tell me, please

; what if i dont want to

; you want to

; well...

; just tell me

; sleeping with your stuffed animal is very punk rock.

; dont let anybody tell you differently

; RICHARD!

; ok fine last night i was texting eddie and he said some things

; what did he say

; you know the usual "fuck off richie"

; and the occasional "go to bed"

; so?

; then he asked who i liked and i said no one right bc its true

; and...? did he get mad or something?

; no. he was like ok then who would u fuck

; oh god.

; so i was like betty, gretta, blah blah blah, stan

; WHAT THE FUCK RICHARD

; no no i meant it as a joke

; ... maybe...

; WTF

; hahahahah no it was a definite joke right

; ok. and?

; so i asked him and he said all these actors

; ha u were played

; then i was like wft can u be serious

; lol thats funny coming from you're mouth

; so he gave me a serious answer and he said he'd fuck Billiam

; hahahahaha and was ur ego dented

; no, actually i was like 'phew, at least he doesnt like me that way'

; so what is the problem

; he likes Bill and Bev likes Bill and ugh how and i supposed to help Bev get bill if eddie is breathing down my neck

; no.

; YES!

; no. he doesnt like bill.

; what do u mean he told me he did

; nooooo. he said that he would fuck him, not that he wanted to date him

; oh shit.

; thats why i can talk to you, jew

; :|

; ok stanson i have to go now

; youre a piece of shit

; and why is that

; cause u wasted my time with that sad excuse of a problem

; well i thought it was serious

; no you didnt.

; yes i did stan

; RIchie u just wanted to tell me u wanted to fuck me

; im flattered rich, really, i am. its just, i dont like you that way

; hahahaha ok bye

; bye richard. next time u tell me u have a problem it better be real

; fineee

a/n stan the man. i love him.