《Unstable》Chapter 12
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"WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN 'MOVING INTO ANOTHER UNIT?' THIS IS BULLSHIT," I am beyond pissed.
Midnight was the one holding my hygiene bucket, "Don't worry this will be temporary or permanent we're not to sure yet," she said trying to calm me down.
"WHAT DO YOU MAN 'OR PERMANENT' THERES NO REASON FOR ME TO GO TO ANOTHER UNIT," Fuck this, fuck that, fuck everyone.
I fussed like that one stupid grape motherfucker but I dont care. I'm not leaving Shinsou. I . . . I need him.
Midnight tried to switch her words telling me, 'it wont be permanent I swear." Which is bullhshit.
It took four people to get me out of the unit and into the unit 8. . . Where most of the crazies are, Shit.
"OH LOOKY HERE, fresh blood," I hear a very insane fucking giggle.
I turn to seen the blonde with two buns who gave me a look, days ago.
"So your the newbie," she looks at me up and down, "You look so good I can eat you up," she laughs like it's a fucking joke.
"Dammit Toga, I cant draw on your scrubs if you keep moving," behind her came a guy who looked deeply fucked up.
From what I can see, he looks to be burned on most of his body. He had holes in his nose and most of his body, guessing he had piercings. He had black hair with sharp blue eyes.
"Aww what's the matter, scared," he leans forward.
I frown, "I'm not fucking scared, burnt toast."
The blonde or Toga, laughs, "he called you burnt toast, Dabi," she said his name slowly.
He looks at her, "Yeah I fucking heard," he looks back me, "You better hope we're not sharing a room."
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He turns around and walks into the day room. Toga laughs at the whole scene.
"Come on newbie," her voice was unnaturally high pitched, like she was getting off of it, which is fucking gross, "Let's go meet the others."
For some reason swallowing got hard as she said others.
Just breathe in. I left the day room. After seeing Bakugou leave in a outburst set my nerves uneased. Causing an uneasy flashback, that I want to terribly forget. I went to my room and lay on my bed.
Breathe.
"Dont say a word to anyone."
Stop it! Forget. Breathe, dammit! Why is it so hard to breathe.
I sat up trying to catch my breathe but it didnt work out as well. It just seemed to get worst. Breathe. My vision begin to blur.
He's gone, gone, gone, gone. Forget, forget! Stop remembering! Breathe!
I was doing the opposite of what I was trying to convince myself. I was breathing but it was too fast. Slow down.
I cant breathe.
Where did the air go! Why cant I breathe!
I can feel the tears streaming down my face. I was shaking, I cant move, memories were flooding my head, that I wanted out, gone forever.
I couldn't hear the door open. I didnt even hear when Ochaco called for Midnight. All I could hear is his voice.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH."
I screamed when the hand was on my shoulder. I tried to hit whoever it was. I couldnt see the person just right. I just screamed and cried.
I just want it to stop. Just make it go away. No more memories, no more PTSD. I just want to be. I want to be home with my mom. Please make it stop.
"Listen to me, no one is in here besides me and you," a woman's voice.
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Midnight?
I look up but I was still shaking, crying and hyperventilating.
"Its It's alright. Look at me. Look at me. You're safe, hes gone."
Hearing someone else's voice was better than my own. I rushed forward and held on for dear life, still hyperventilating, crying, shaking.
"Shh, it's alright," calming hands began to rub my back and head.
"Please," my voice weak and shattered, "Make it go away. I . . . I," choking on my sobs and lack of air, " I dont want to remember. "
"It will, baby. Soon, you'll be able to forget and live life happily," she said softly and calming.
"But I want it gone now. I just want to breathe again. I . . . I just. . . I just want to be me again!"
I choke harder in my sobs and I begin to feel dizzy.
As Midnight could read my mind she tells me to breathe.
But why cant I breathe. Just let me be me. I just want to live instead of fighting for one more day. It terrifies me. I can still feel his hands on my skin and I want it to just go away.
Why cant they leave my body without lingering. Why cant he be truly gone? Why?
"Make it stop! Make it STOP! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP," my body racks with sobs, "I WANT TO FORGET! I WANT HIS HANDS GONE! PLEASE! PLEase," the voice cracks into a whisper, "please."
Midnight holds me tighter, "I wish I can and if I could, I would do it in a heartbeat. For everyone. But unfortunately it takes time. Please Aoyama, breathe in and out. Slower sweetie."
I continue to cry but my breathing slowed. All there was were the noises of hiccups, the chokes on air, my sobs filling the air in my shared room.
My vision begin to darken. My body slowly to slack in her arms. I'm tired. So tired. Tired . . . Oh everything.
Tears are still cling to my face. As everything just gets darker. And calmer, I guess.
"
Breathe.
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