"It is your programming that has created your choices in the past. It is the choices you make today that is creating the programs of your future." — Life Lessons

"What happened, Vi?" Frankie quickly ran towards me as soon as she noticed me crying. I tried so hard to suppress the tears, but they kept coming.

"It's nothing," I croaked which I didn't intend to sound like that, which caught her curiosity. Worries were written all over her face. "Excuse me," I said as I tried to duck her and her curiosity, but she quickly traps me before I could reach my door.

"Why are you crying? And where is Xandrous?" she asked successively as she tried to catch my eyes. I was looking elsewhere but her eyes.

"He stayed behind," I said softly, trying to duck her curiosity. I don't really want to talk about it, but she was tenacious.

"Did he do something stupid?" she growled and my soaked eyes snapped at her. Her eyes were sharp as a razor. I suddenly felt like she was my sister and she's ready to protect me. She looks genuinely concerned and I couldn't hold my emotions any longer.

"God, I was so stupid!" I cried out as I ran into her arms and she hugs me. She was rubbing my back in circles as she murmured soothing words. "I shouldn't have entertained him again!" I grit out between tears.

I heard her gasped as she hugs me back. "What happened?" Frankie asked in her sweet warming voice, coaxing me to spill everything to her and before I could even think, I start relaying what happened at the mall, bitterness and anger already consumed me.

My heart was beating loudly against my ribcage. Pain consumed me. "We were so happy together. I thought I was the happiest woman in the world. He was there with me, shopping. He patiently following me, treating me like a queen and I believed it. I fucking believe him!" I grit out with contempt, letting the tears flow freely down my cheeks with brokenness, damping my face all the more. "And then, he has a child? Maybe that's why he ran here because he doesn't want the child. Maybe that's why he came to see me, claiming that he loves me and he wants to win me back, but he was actually running away from his responsibility. He doesn't want her anymore because she's pregnant. What an ass! And he thought?" I chuckled humorlessly, disgust laced in every word. "I could replace her position, and I was so stupid to believe him!" I blabbered angrily in disdain, between tears.

"Sshhh..." Frankie cooed and I let the tears soaked my face. I felt so raw. It feels like I'm ripping into two. I felt that hole in my heart again, this time, it doubled.

"Let's get inside your room," she murmured and I nodded. She assisted me until my bed. As soon I was close, I dropped my exhausted body on the bed, lying on my back. My eyes stared at the chandelier that gives soft light when it's on.

I hear nothing from Frankie. She lets me cry my heart out, venting out my frustrations through blabbering. I don't even know what things came out of my mouth because I was so pissed, so angry of myself.

I was stupid.

"How did you know she was pregnant?" Frankie finally spoke.

Without looking at her, my eyes still directed at the chandelier up above, I respond briefly. "His mom called." I sniffed.

"What did Xandrous tell you? Did he confirmed it was his?" Frankie asked inquisitively.

"I ran away before he could explain. There's nothing to talk about anyway. He chose her in the first place!" I bit my inner cheek as I remember why I was hurting right now.

I should have given him up completely when he chose her instead of me. That should be my call to stay away and move on, then I wouldn't be feeling this pain.

"Then you should talk to him. Listen to his side, maybe it wasn't true?" Frankie said calmly.

"I don't know if I could bear it when he confirms it was his," I shook my head. "I know it's his. They were inseparable," I exclaimed bitterly.

"Vi, you will never know the truth if you keep on avoiding—"

She was interrupted by the desperate ringing of the doorbell, then followed by a hard, loud knock. "I'm guessing that's him," I heard her said.

"Aren't you going to talk to him?" Frankie pressed, but I shook my head.

"Fine, wait for me here." I heard her said and then she left. I wipe the tears away as I stared obliviously at the chandelier, feeling numb.

............................

"Mom, I'll call you later. I'm coming home soon." I ended the call before I heard mom's response. I had to talk to Victoria, but she already took a cab even before I reach the exit door. I went back to the store and paid all the dresses she was supposed to try it on and asked them to deliver it to her place. I quickly left the mall thinking to talk to her and clear out everything before leaving tonight.

"Hang on, dad," I murmured softly as I concentrate driving, my voice broken with my heart felt heavy. My eyes felt moist and it starting to blind my vision.

It took me like forever to get to the apartment, and I ran like I was running for dear life and knock on their door as soon as I set foot right in front of their door next to mine. As several rings, the door opened and even if I expect Frankie to open it, I still felt disappointed.

Frankie was looking at me in a way that she wants to lacerate me. It was sharp and cold. "I need to talk to her," I beg before she could speak. She was holding the lever handle of the door. She looks like she's ready to slam the door in my face.

"She said, she doesn't want to talk to you," she responded tersely.

"Please, Frankie. I need to clear everything with her before leaving home tonight," I beg her. My eyes felt damp as I tried not to cry in front of her. Clenching my jaw to hold my emotion. It felt raw. The same emotions when she bid me goodbye and left for London.

"Why are you leaving tonight?" Frankie looks surprised. "Shouldn't you need to work harder to win her trust again?" Frankie's eyes turn into slits. I was glad someone like Frankie was here for her. She's a true friend.

"My dad had a heart attack after Cassie told them she's pregnant and it was mine," I croaked, gritting my teeth after. Frankie's eyes sharpened. "I swear to God, Frankie, that baby is not mine. I'm positive. I never bed her, we never had sex!" I grit out in one breath, trying to clear my side before she judges me.

Fucking damnation, I never felt so murderous with a woman until this day! Screw you, Cassie!

I don't remember anything that happened between us. I thought she understood that what we have is just friendship. I need to clarify things with her, and I just hope I won't lost my temper and I might end her life earlier than it should be.

This is ridiculous. Because of her lies, my dad is now in the hospital. At the moment, I want to strangle Cassie.

I don't understand why is she lying?

Suddenly, Victoria's words before rang in my ears. Just when we first had our big fight, and it's about Cassie.

"I'm a girl, Xandrous. I know how a woman looks, and that look she always gives you is love. She is in love with you, and you are so naive to believe it was just friendship!"

"Xandrous?" Frankie's irritated tone brought me back to earth.

My eyes suddenly snapped to her face. "I'm sorry?"

"I said, I'm sorry to hear about your dad," her face softened and I felt relieved. "I'll talk to her first. If you don't mind waiting in the living room?" she said before I could respond.

I nodded my head sullenly. "I don't mind," I responded all too quickly and she opened the door wide and let me in. I heard the door close as I head to their living room. As I sat, I saw Frankie's back heading back to Vicky's room.

I felt like a small light suddenly lit up the dark path I was walking through. I just hope she will listen to her. I needed her to believe me and trust me this time. I want to fight for her, and I want her to be with me, through all these messes Cassie created. I don't know what were she planning, but I will make sure that she won't succeed. She can't trap me into something I don't want. I had sacrificed a lot because I chose to stay with her, to help her get through all the hard times in her life, and yet this is her comeback? I can't believe she lied.

.......................

I heard my door being open and when I look up, I saw Frankie walking back to my bed where I was lying on my back, bawling my eyes out. I sat and watch her making her way towards me.

She stops before the edge of my bed and crosses her hands over her chest. "He's here," she calmly said. I sat up and propped my back against the headboard.

My tears kept on streaming like a river, blinding me.

He's here. Theios Zandros had a heart attack and I should be there for him, but I can't find it in my heart to feel sorry for him? After hearing Cassie's is pregnant with his child, I felt like my world for the second time, collapse and this time, unrestorable.

Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe it was one of my innate characteristics, that's why I deserved all of this. Because I was too selfish, everything that I want, I always lost it.

I wipe my tears and tried to stop them, but it I failed miserably. Tears just kept coming like a pouring rain. "I don't want to see him, ever again!" I grit out as I wipe my cheeks again, harshly with the back of my hand.

Frankie drops her hands on her sides and then perched on the edge of my bed, facing me. "Vi," she met my soaking eyes, "even though we just met a few months from now, I truly care for you. I'm telling you these because I don't want you to regret it in the future," she started and as she goes on, I was puzzled. I wipe my tears and like a miracle, she got my attention and my tear ducts dried up, just like my emotion. "I think he is telling the truth. He said the baby wasn't his," Frankie finally cleared up the confusion in my head.

I chuckled tersely. "And you believe him?" I asked her incredulously. I can't believe Frankie believe his lies.

Frankie nodded her head. "I saw it in his eyes. I think that woman is lying. And if ever, I have this feeling that it could be someone's else and since she really likes Xandrous, she used it as a pawn to trap him into marriage," she said, completely convince, but I wasn't convinced.

That day in his place when I saw Cassie wearing his shirt flashed through my head again. Bitterness crawled in my gut. "I saw them together in his place. She was wearing his shirt. They look like they had fun so much that night. How can he explain that? Cassie looks glowing and Xandrous looks like he was pissed for interrupting their fun moment when I showed up!" I cried out.

"Do you love him, Vi?" Frankie stared at me intently.

Yes. I love him so much that it hurts every time Cassie's name is attached to him. "Do you think I would cry like this if I don't?" I scoffed, my voice rising in the process, wiping the tears that escape my eyes.

"And he loves you. He won't come to see you and even leave his work just to win you back. For men, time is precious. They won't exert effort if it doesn't mean to them," she cocked her eyebrow as she explains her point.

"Why are you on his side? You're my friend, you should be on my side," I glared at her and she chuckled, it only irritates me.

"Vi, I'm on your side. That's why I'm telling you this. How we live our life is our choice. So if you choose your pride over your heart, then prepare for the life you chose, and that's without the man you loved the most," she quipped intently.

I fell into a deep silence as I process her words.

Yes, I loved him. I always dreamed of him to be my husband, to be the father of my children, my partner in everything. I always want him.

"We have another two weeks to go before our next photo shoot. Use it to claim what was yours. Fight for him, I believe you're not alone into this battle. You have him, trust me!" Frankie cajoled. "You have to fight for your man. If ever, in the end, he didn't choose you, you will never regret because you did what you have to do. But believe me, I know he's with you!" she brushes the hair that was covering my eyes and tucked it under my ears.

I shook my head again, in disapproval. My heart couldn't take it anymore, the pain, the rejection, and being as a second choice, and for taking me for granted. "I already did. I fought every last card I have but he always chose her," I grit out, shaking my head profusely.

Frankie fell into silence. Only a weeping sound filled the air along the four walls of my room. My eyes felt raw, and so was my heart.

"Probably it's not what you think? Most of the times, we women think the worst," Frankie said softly.

I nodded my head profusely. "He broke up with me because he chose her. He didn't care about me, because she's all that he cares ever since," I blabbered as I got out of the bed and wipe the tears away harshly. Pacing back and forth across my room, I occasionally give Frankie a glance. My heart is pumping loudly in my chest and I felt so angry. So pissed and I wanted to scream. To scream out the frustrations and disappointment I felt. "I gave him everything, but he still ended up with her!" I yelled, my tears kept running incessantly down my cheeks. Frankie stared at me, looking broken as well. "I had nothing left. He took everything from, and yet he still stayed on her side," I cried as I stop pacing. "I lost him," I felt my body shuddered as my unknown baby flashes in my head.

"You had a miscarriage, Vi."

Margaux and the doctor's words flashed in my head when I woke up that day in the hospital.

"Vi," I look up and saw Frankie was already beside me, holding me closely as I shakily cried out the pain in my chest. My body is uncontrollably shaking as I cried. The past hit me again like a wrecking ball and I felt like I'm losing my sanity again. I feel nothing but pain, regrets, and anger. "I LOST HIM! I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT, I lost my baby," I cried out as felt my legs melting, my voice lowering as I sat on the floor.

"You had a baby/You were pregnant?" I hear two voices and when I look up I saw Frankie's wide eyes gaping at me, shocked is an understatement. My eyes hastily averted to the other voice and saw Xandrous shocked face standing at my door.

Hurt is vivid in his eyes before he stormed off my room.

"Xandrous!" I called softly. I want to ran after him but I felt so weak.

.................................

A/N: I'm sorry, I'm back to being the drama queen. lol.