"My yesterdays walk with me.

They keep step, they are gray faces

that peer over my shoulder."

― William Golding.

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"Margaux," I tried to pull myself back together. I needed to be strong. I could feel my spirit slowly departing from my body again, leaving me like a dead- lifeless inside. I don't want to live like that again. Cold, emotionless, and dead - inside. Closing my eyes, I summoned all my strength to face the truth, even if it hurts like hell. Like a knife starting to cut my flesh and leaving me bleeding. "Yes, he is the father, but he doesn't know," I confirmed, my voice softening.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. I'm really sorry, Vi. I was such an idiot. I'm really sorry," she rambled her apologies.

"It's alright, Margaux. Just do me a favor please, for old times sake. Alexandrous or any of my family knows nothing about it. I don't want anyone to find out. Please let's keep it buried," I said almost sounding pleading.

"Yes, of course. I will zip my mouth and never reveal it."

I sighed in relief, but my heart still feels heavy. My head unconsciously wandered to the day I found out I was carrying a child. That accident that led me to the real truth.

"Vi, Vi..." I hear a mumbling voice calling out my name but I ignored it. I was so sleepy and my eyelid felt so heavy, plus the comfort of the soft bed just made it harder for me to open my eyes. Then a hard shake on my shoulder jolted me up and before my eyes, Margaux in her small towel wrapped around her body with her hair still damp, her lips curled into a snarl.

"If you don't get your ass in that washroom in a second, then you are going to be late, missy," she scolded me and then she march to her drawers and started changing.

I scrambled to the washroom, scratching my eyes trying to wake them up and grab my pink towel sitting on the chair just close my drawer and headed to the washroom.

Margaux smiled at me and I smiled back before entering the washroom. I quickly hand the towel on the hook close to the sliding door of the shower and hurriedly undress. Tossing the dirty clothes to the hamper that has my name on it besides Margaux hamper, I step into the shower, closing the sliding door close.

As soon as the water was set to the desired temperature, I turned on the shower head and back away, but then I lost my balance. The floor was slippery and with a scream I fell on my butt, my hands flung onto the sides, and I felt everything spins. I tried to sit up, but my back hurts especially my bum.

I cried in pain as I felt the burning sensations shooting in my body coming from my back. "What happened?" Margaux frantically slides the shower door open and hovered over me. My tears blurring my vision.

"Oh my God!" Margaux screams. I shut my eyes as the pain kept heightening and I felt nauseous already.

"It hurts!" was all I said as I cried.

"You are bleeding," she said terrified. "Hang on, I'll call a help!" she quickly scrambles out of the washroom and came back talking on the phone.

"Please, now," she cried out as she holds my hand to try to help me up, but I wince and screams in protest when the pain shoots all over my body.

"I can't!" I cried out and then I saw her terrified face staring back at me, then it all went black.

When I wake up, I was laying on a white bed, inside the hospital. Margaux was just staring at me, dumbfounded.

"I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me?" she said, almost an accused.

My face distorted. I was confused. What is she talking about?

The crease on her forehead deepened. "You are pregnant, Vi. And you lost the baby," she said melancholy. Her eyes were red, probably from crying.

I went rigid as soon as the words came out of her mouth. "I lost my baby? I'm pregnant?" I mumbled. The tears sprung to my eyes and I softly sniffed. Still feeling lost. I suddenly felt drained. My heart beating so fast, my body shaking.

I was pregnant, and I didn't know it. My baby is gone. Our baby and Xandrous is gone?

Tears kept streaming like a river, my heart feeling numb of my sudden loss, and my brain felt empty and frozen. I don't know what to think, or to do. I felt suddenly dead inside.

I came back to my dorm, only me, my doctor, Drew, and Margaux knew about my miscarriage. Margaux called Drew that day because she doesn't want the whole campus knows what happened, and drove us to the nearest hospital. We were lucky that the classes started already that nobody noticed Drew carrying Victoria to the back door where also his car was waiting.

When Margaux saw the blood she knew already what's going on and she doesn't want me to go through another scandal after Riley, our classmate who was obsessed with me made a fake video of us, and it took me months to clear my name that I wasn't in the video, that it was only edited.

Two days after, I felt a little better. I attend every class like there's nothing happened to me and act like my normal self. That night, I tried to call Xandrous, but his phone just kept on ringing. Margaux was watching in our small living room, so I went to join her. She wasn't actually watching because she was busy tapping on her phone. I'm sure she's on facebook again.

I took the remote and went on flicking the channels until I stumbled on the news. A charity event that was held in Greece, for the world's children foundation. I suddenly felt a kick in my heart when I saw where the event is, PP Haven's Resort.

In the spacious open hall of the Haven's resort, two reporters were standing out front of the hall, reporting about the huge charity event ever happen in the history and ninety percent tycoons and successful people will be there to attend and give donor to the said charity to help the poor kids, to give them education, and a good future.

I smiled. I thought of my father. I'm sure, they were there. I overheard mom and dad talking about that, that all the charity foundation for kids has been thinking to merged into one and will take a leap to make a history in the charity world. So they have done it.

I smiled again. Haven's resort in Greece that was owned by my father and theios Nick really was breathtaking. It was a place where most jet-setters come and spend their vacation.

And I was right. Mom and dad look so perfect together as they waltz inside. The reporter asks a few question that mom and dad answered so regally. Dad at his age still looks imposing and mom, as usual, she looks refreshingly magnificent.

Then came Xandrous parents, I didn't see my father's friends. Maybe they are all inside.

Just as I was about to change the channel, my eyes caught sight of Cassie emerging out of a gray Bugatti. Then came Xandrous.

She smiled at him as the camera flashes to their direction, and Xandrous smiled back as she held her by her waist. Xandrous was obviously dodging the cameras aimed at them and he led her inside, ducking the reporter who's coming towards them.

I quickly drop the remote and decided to go and sleep. I suddenly felt my body tense and at that moment, I want to kill him. That's when I felt nothing but coldness towards others.

"... so what do you think? I think you are going to like the place. It's almost the same as the Nutty diner we always go to eat," Margaux excited tone drags me out of my reverie.

"Can I text you later?" I said as I watch Frankie sashayed into my room with a wide grin on her face.

I kicked the blanket off me and swung my legs out of the bed.

"Sure. Just let me know so I can make a reservation, they usually get full during lunch time," she reminded me and I agreed.

"Sure," then she said her goodbye and I said mine.

I chuck my phone on the bed and headed to the washroom. I saw Frankie perched on the edge of my bed and reach out for the magazine sitting on the side table beside the digital alarm clock.

"Is that Margaux?" she asked and I stop in my tracks as I turned my head to her direction and nodded. Her eyes peering at me, the magazine was covering halfway of her face, her eyes peering over it.

"Yes," I nodded, then I strutted inside the washroom and did my business.

As soon as I got out, Frankie is nowhere inside my room. I shrugged my shoulders and got change. I decided to wear a black legging and top it with white long loose top since I'm gonna be just spending my day inside my house. I don't really feel like going out with Margaux today.

After reminding me of my dark past I buried deep down me, I kind of feel like no energy to do anything today, but just sulk inside our apartment.

As soon as I dried my hair, I let it hang loosely around my shoulder and then headed out to the kitchen to have something light.

I heard different voices in the living room, and when it came into view, I stop on my track and attempted to go back inside my room when Frankie saw me. Deshawn turned his head and then he stood up with a wide smile and then Xandrous turned his head, too, and rose up as well. I shifted my gaze between them then to Frankie, my eyes sending her a silent disapproval.

Deshawn was wearing a blue jean paired with a blue shirt dress and top it with a midnight blue wool sweater. He looks always handsome but Xandrous standing next to him, he looks an ordinary.

Xandrous looks imposing, sporting a black Armani suit pants and crisp gray shirt, with the sleeves folded on his elbows. His thick hair as usual in a disheveled manner.

"Good morning," Deshawn grinned lopsidedly and I almost rolled my eyes. He thinks he could charm me with his enchanting smile.

"Good morning," I greeted back and stared at Xandrous who looks displeased. His sensual lips are in thin line only nodding as his response when I greeted him, too.

At the corner of my eyes, Frankie was obviously observing the two.

I casually walk to the kitchen and made my tea. "Hey," I suddenly turned to look at Deshawn, standing several inches away from me. He leaned against the edge of the island counter with his sweet smile glued on his face.

"Hey," I shot back, giving him a tight smile before turning back on the countertop and crouch down to reach out the kettle inside the drawer under the countertops and filled it with water, before placing it on the stove and turned it on.

"Did you get my text?" he asked, with a clear hope in his tone.

I saw his text but I didn't bother to read it. I was actually not in the mood after talking to Margaux.

"I did, but I forget to check it again and read it," I said. "I'm sorry," I apologized.

"It's okay. I just want to ask if you would like to try the new restaurant at the corner," he asked.

I turned around, leaning my back against the edge of the countertop and blows inside my cheeks causing my cheeks to bulged before releasing the air out of my lips. I wanted to tell him frankly that I'm not interested but I saw how his eyes shine with hopes and I don't want to disappoint him.

He's a nice guy, but I can't lead him on and give him hope. I need him to know that I'm not interested. "Look Deshawn-" I saw Xandrous coming towards us over Deshawn's shoulder. My attention averted back to him and I smiled. "Sure," and I look at Xandrous. He stops a few inches before the island counter, I knew he heard it.

His face shows nothing. His eyes were cold and too detach. His jaws were tight and I could imagine his hands curled into balls inside his pockets. I looked away when his cold eyes met mine. I suddenly felt a shiver traveled throughout my bones.

"You promised me to have dinner with me tonight," I quickly look at him with my eyebrows furrowing. When did I agree to that? And since when did he ask me out?

I wasn't drunk last night. It was him, now I felt like I was the one that was wasted and not him.

"I did not?" my voice sounds uncertain. His lips twitch, then pursed in annoyance. His eyes turned colder if possible, glaring at me coldly.

"I asked you last night," he cocked his head to the side. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. "And you agreed," he interjected, scowling at me.

I look at Deshawn who looks crestfallen but he managed to flash me a smile. I'm surprised he accepted it coolly. He's truly a sport, backing off to give way. "That's alright, Vicky. We can try it out next time," he smiled and I nodded. Feeling the intense urge to strangle the man behind him.

"Do want anything to drink?" I asked Deshawn to break the tension slowly growing.

"I left my glass on the coffee table. I think I'm okay," Deshawn walks back to the living room and sat back on the seat he emptied. Xandrous stood where the spot Deshawn left. He leaned and cross his hands against his broad chest.

I glared at him deadly. If only looks could kill him. I quickly turned around to turn off the stove when the kettle started whistling.

Taking a mug from the cupboard, I took one English tea bag and place it in the mug with the string dangling on the rim of the mug. I poured some hot water into the mug until a good half inch of the rim.

I took a teaspoon and put some honey before mixing it up, holding the string out of the way as I mix it.

I tossed the bag in the trash bin under the sink and then tossed the spoon into the sink. I turned and surprised Xandrous was still standing where Deshawn was standing while ago, staring at me in silence. His eyes appraising me, but his face gave nothing away. His eyes were emotionless. It's hard to read him and it frustrates me.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

He steps forward and planted himself in front of me. He brushes my hair and tucked it gently behind my ear. "Thank you for taking care of me last night," he said in a very soft, sweet voice. I almost leaned against his chest and smelled him. From where he stood, I could smell his signature scent. His natural scent that I always loved.

"It's nothing," I said swaying that familiar feeling that I wanted to forget. I look down avoiding his intense gaze trying to keep my resolve.

"Hey," he said as he tucked my chin between his index finger and thumb and gently tipped it up. I met his mesmerizing green eyes. They weren't cold anymore. They were soft and I saw love, adoration in it. "I hope you're not mad at me," he said, sounding so strained.

"I'm not!" I responded softly. "When did you asked me out anyway?" I grit out.

He grinned lopsidedly and I clenched my teeth. He leaned forward and I felt his breath kissing my earlobe. "I can't help but lie. I don't want you to go out with him," he murmured softly. "You're mine!" he declared. I promptly turned my head to meet his eyes, but I met with his lips. It was just a brush but I felt heated in nanoseconds. Tingles spread like a wildfire.

I quickly step back and glared at him. My eyes quickly look over to the couch and was relieved to see Frankie and Deshawn talking animatedly. Deshawn's back was facing us.

I took my mug and made my way to the couch. I felt him following me.

I sat beside Frankie who was talking to Deshawn. I avoided looking at Xandrous. I could still feel his soft lips on mine. And it made me feel flustered all over, again and again.

"Oh, Xandrous brought you a basket of flowers. I put them on the table," Frankie gestured her hand towards the table on the corner with a wide teasing grin. The table looks smaller with the basket that full of different flowers.

I had no choice but look at him. "Thank you," I said still flustered from the kiss. He just nods his head.

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A/N: Sorry guys for the long, long wait. I just finished the Tagalog-English book in my Filipino Account. I'll start updating often here. I apologize again.