Fake smiles outside and real pain inside that's my life

~Samaira~

Next morning I woke up early and did everything as his wish. He once slapped me because I looked at him without his permission.

After he left I relaxed a bit. I went back to room and tried to sleep but again everything came back as a nightmare. I still miss those times when I was genuinely happy.

It's been a week since I saw Idhant at shanzay's House. I can't remove his smiling face. Today I have decided to go again to her house incase he comes.

So I got ready at my best. I wore my favourite dress did my makeup not too dark nor too light. I wanted to look more beautiful for him.

I went to her house and chatted a little and to my luck he came there again. This time he was wearing green shirt and brown pants. Hairs were perfectly set.

I went to him and gave my best smile which he returned.

We talked a little. He asked me about my studies and I lied to him saying that I am a topper. He said that he is also studying and a very good student. I just gave him a nervous smile at this.

Next day he came to my college to pick me. I was shocked to see him there. He waved at me and I practically ran to him.

"Hi, what a pleasant surprise".

"I wanted to see u so came." I tried really hard to control my blush but failed.

"You look beautiful while u blush like this" he said while pinching my cheeks. I blushed even more.

"Well I don't mind standing here all day with u but it will be better to sit at some coffee shop." he said while I was lost in his voice.

"Umm..are u asking me out..mm like on a date." I said and regretted next moment at my stupid question. Who ask this question at such situations.

"Well I am not asking u out for a date. I already have my girlfriend for that. I just want to talk to you. If u don't want then its OK" he said breaking my heart into million pieces. Few tears rolled down my cheeks and I didn't even realised that untill he wiped them with his hands.

He made me sit in his car and drove somewhere. I was silent all the way not knowing what to say.

"Do u like me" he asked all of a sudden. I looked at him and slightly nodded my head. He just chuckled at my immature behaviour.

"don't u think that u are going so fast. When I first came at shanzey's house I knew it and the way u was looking at me. I understood that moment it self. But Samaira we are strangers." he said while driving.

"I don't know anything about these feelings. It's my first time when I am feeling like this about someone" I told him honestly. He nodded in understanding.

He parked his car at a coffee shop and we had coffee. My attention was completely on him.

"Do u really have a girlfriend" I finally asked him this question which was eating my mind from longtime.

"Yes, I have a girlfriend. She is my college mate." he said and I mentally scolded myself for asking this question. After this I didn't spoke anything.

"Look Samaira I hate breaking someone's heart but if u want then we can be friends."

"I can never be friends with u Idhant" I declined his offer because I knew I can't see him with someone else. Its better for us to stay away from each other.

"I know why u r saying this but think about it once. What ever you say I'll respect your decision." He said and then we drove back in complete silence as I didn't wanted to speak anything.

At home I locked myself in room. I didn't let anyone enter. I cried my eyes out that day and thought about many possibilities.

What if they break up with each other then he will be with me?

What if Idhant is not serious about her?

What if she is just playing with him?

What if they are not in a perfect relationship?

What if Idhant lied to me about his gf? May b he don't have any?

All these thoughts were running in my mind and I decided that I will say yes to him for his friendship and then will get close to him.

After that If he really has a gf than I'll try to separate them by creating misunderstandings between them.

I did a little happy dance at my plan. I called Idhant.

"hello" came his deep voice. I became nervous all of a sudden.

"hello" I tried to say it without any nervousness.

"Oh, Samaira, how are you?" I am really glad that he recognized my voice.

"Yeah, I am fine. I called u to say that I am ready to be yours....

" huhhh"

" I mean to be ur friend. I thought that we can be friends atleast why let feelings come in between us."

"You sure about this. If ur doing this because I'll feel bad, if u say no that don't."

"no..no its not like this. I genuinely wants to be ur friend. Just friends. Nothing else. If u are happy with ur girl then who I am to come in between u too."

"okay as u say mam"

"I have to go know will call u later. But before that promise me that u will introduce me to ur girl as soon as possible" I said

"yeah why not I will. OK. Bye now." and then he hunged up.

Now I am sure that he surely has a girlfriend. So I'll execute my plan on them.

Flashback ends.

I smiled bitterly at myself. May be its their curse that's why I am not happy. After ruining someone's happiness how can I live happily.

Later on I slept as I am not at all getting proper sleep from past few days.

I woke up and made his dinner. After he came I greeted him and did everything as yesterday.

"I see u have became obedient with in a night" he said while eating.

"So don't u want to ask me anything" he asked me with warning in his eyes. I immediately asked about his day. While stuttering.

"How..wa..was ur d..day?"

"It was again awesome but not more than upcoming night." he winked at me at the last part. I just cringed but didn't showed it on my face.

He finished eating and waited for me to finish. I was just playing with my plate because I didn't like matar much and he specifically ordered me to make this only for dinner. So I also stopped eating.

"Eat"

"I am full" just a excuse.

"Mayra I said eat" he was calm today.

"I don't want to eat anymore. I don't like this" I said this while stopping my tears.

'Mayra, u better eat or u won't love outcomes" he threatened me.

"Please" and next moment he was grabbing my chin forcefully. My lips parted a bit and he forcefully pushed one bite in my mouth.

" If u want me to make u eat like this then carry on or u better use ur hands and finish ur food" saying so he left my jaw. I was a crying mess but nonetheless ate while sobbing.

He just sat there doing something on his phone. I didn't dare to ask about my phone. After I finished eating he stoop up.

"Clean everything and come to room"

I nodded and started doing dishes. After I was done I went to his room dreading tonight.

Everything was same again. Nothing different.

I slept again not aware of the upcoming storm which is going to make my life more miserable.

Thank you for reading

~Ayesha