I need her head on my heart, and she needs to hear it beat for her.

~ Leo Christopher.

......

Akira

Wiping my tears I walk inside the corridor of my dorm. Instead of my room I knock Alice's door impatiently.

"What the fu- Akira?"

I try to speak something but end up choking my word until it becomes sobbing. She pulls me into a hug I didn't know I needed. I cry on her shoulder and she lets me, murmuring 'it's okay'. But it's not okay, nothing is okay. I am not sure if it would be okay at all.

God, please make it okay.

She leads me inside and makes me sit on couch. She gives me a glass of water. Sniffing, I drink it feeling my sob subsiding.

She sits in front of me, "Are you okay babe? Wait, don't answer that, of course you are not. Whose ass do I need to kick?"

Despite myself, I giggle. It hard and funny to picture her kicking Romero's arse when she is half of his size. I was right to like her, she is a good friend.

She grins, "That's better. Now tell me what happened?"

I don't want to talk about it but the weigh on my heart is too much. I need to get it out so I tell her everything. She listens without interrupting. I heave a breath after telling her. I truly needed someone to hear me out. At times like this I miss my best friends, who would hear without being judgmental.

"Can I say something?" She asks after a beat.

I nod.

"I don't think King meant to hurt you by hiding the truth, he was just scared that you would leave him and that you did which proves his fear wasn't unreasonable. I am not taking his side but when someone's -who is so used of having control- control slips they do irrational things and your King did the same. You can't hold it against him when he is begging for your forgiveness and is willing to try next time."

My king.

"Then why did he ask about my family when he already knew everything? To have a laugh?" I shake my head.

That's what hurt most, he knew they were dead and how they died, he still went ahead and questioned my deepest scar. He knew everything about me but acted like he didn't. I feel like a fool played by him.

"He probably thought you would think of him as a creep who is obsessed with you." Her words does something to my brain.

Obsessed?

Does he really love me or is he just obsessed with me? What if I'm just an obsession to him that he thinks he love?

The more I think, more I start to doubt his feelings for me. I don't doubt mine though because I know I love him. There is no other word to what I feel for him despite his betrayal.

I look at her desperately, "Can I stay with you tonight?"

She doesn't hesitate, "Of course you can but I think instead of being coward and hide, you should talk to him. Avoidance is-"

"Open the goddamn door!"

Oh God!

Romero

I jump from my seat, my heart racing up, even though he is banging other door. I knew he would follow me. He never listens, even after he promised he'd try. That's why I didn't go to my room. I don't think he knows about Alice. He would never suspect this room.

Alice looks at me with wide eye, "Is that him?"

"Yes." I avoid her eyes.

Her face lightens, "You should go and talk to-"

I stop her, "No please, I can't face him right now. My emotions all over the places, I don't trust myself with him-"

"Where the fuck is Ray?!" He yells from the other side. He sounds like a madman.

I cross the room and peer through key hole. My eyes tear up at the sight of him. He looks as miserable I feel, if not worse. He kicks the wall beside door with a growl. I fight against my instincts that are telling me to go to him, to give him solace he needs right now, to love him.

Oh Rom, why did you lie to me?

Sydney comes out, looking shocked and scared, "What are you talking about?"

He doesn't bother to answer to storms inside, probably to check my room, a minute later he returns, his body is trembling with rage.

"Where. Is. My. Ray?" He steps up to Syd's face. His body rigid with fury.

She stammers, "I-I don't know. She never came back since yesterday."

"Fuck!" He screams, the sound slices down to my soul. Sydney flinches away from him and practically runs in the opposite direction.

Why can't he just go away and give me some time? It hurts to see him hurting this much because of me. I never wanted to hurt him but here I am, the reason he is miserable.

He pulls out his phone suddenly and dials some number. "Where are the fuckers I put for her?....... Son of bitch!..... No!.....Find her!..... I don't fucking care what you need to do, all I care of her whereabouts!"

He looks so broken as gazes blankly to nowhere particularly before sliding down on the floor, his back leaning against the wall as he stares up at the ceiling. I can't hear him but I know what he mumbles to himself.

"Where are you Darling?"

I can't watch him like this neither I can go to him. The aching of my heart gets unbearable. It hurts so much. I gasp for breath, slumping down on the floor and just like him look up to the ceiling as if it's the answer of my every problems.

What have I done to him?

Isn't it my fault that he is in pain? Am I not responsible for pain he is suffering from? Intensional or not, I am hurting him just as much he hurt me. When did I become so selfish? How did we come to this? Just last night we were making love to each other and now we are just few meters apart, both are the reason of each others despair.

"Call me if you need something, okay?" I feel Alice's eye on me but I don't meet them.

"Okay." I answer numbly. I hear her sigh and she disappear in her own room. I'm grateful that she doesn't force me to get up, I don't think I could move from here knowing he us just few distance away.

And just as wretched.

• • •

"Come on man, get up."

I register the words before my mind snaps awake. I don't know when I have fallen asleep but my neck feels stiff and my back sore. Even my head is pounding.

"King, get the fuck up." That's Slade's voice I hear.

"Fuck off!" Snarls Romero vehemently.

Slade sighs, "Look man, if she comes here, Syd will inform us. Won't you Syd?"

Then Sydney's words come through as squeak, "Yes I will."

I get up to see from my spot. Romero is still in the same position but he doesn't look like he has had a blink of nap. He growls in response, "I said I am not moving from here until I fucking see her."

"You look horrible man. You don't want her to find you like this. She wouldn't like it."

Yes, I wouldn't.

I want him as my King.

Not like this.

"You don't fucking understand anything! She is going to leave me and I-I fuck, I can't let her. I need to apologize when she comes back." His voice shakes with underlying desperation.

No!

Oh God no!

I will not leave him. I can't.

I don't know how to, I just need some time.

"She loves you King. She won't leave you. Please listen to Slade. I promise I'll inform you when she comes back." I have never heard Sydney speak so softly. It is as if she could feel his pain.

"Yeah dude, if you don't, you could have an episode. I'm sure you don't want that."

Episode?

What does that mean?

Slade's word has desired effect on Romero as he scowls, "No, not that. Not now when.." he trails off. Standing up abruptly, he walks away without any other words.

Slade and Sydney shares a look before Slade quietly follows after Romero.

I let out a breath I was not aware holding.

How I am going to survive today?