"When?" Is the first word comes out of my mouth.

"Yesterday." She sniffs.

I frown, "But you were there with Luke, weren't you?"

"I was until he had to go somewhere. He wanted to drop me off first but I refused, I wanted to enjoy more. I told him I'd leave with Grace and turned out she had another plan. I didn't want to mess with her plans then Lucas offered and I agreed.

"Everything was normal until we reached here. I was getting out of his car and I stumbled but before I could I fell he caught me. We were laughing our ass about my clumsiness and then something happened, I don't know what but it was a whole new feeling for me. One minute I was staring into his eyes and next I was kissing him. I know I had drinks but I was sobber enough to know I was kissing someone who wasn't my boyfriend and the worst thing is I didn't even want to stop. If it weren't for Lucas who stopped before it could get any further, I don't think I would have stopped."

She is breathing heavily at the end as tears of guilt once again start to form. She is ashamed to cheat on Luke and even more ashamed to enjoy the kiss with Lucas. Guilt is one of the most torturous emotion, it makes us unable to think rationally by leading us on the way of self loathing. We can't think of anything else but the reasons to fuel our self hatred.

"Do you love Luke?" It's an important question to me and so is it's answer.

I have always believed if someone loves their partner truly then they could never think of hurting them. Intentionally or not. Cheating is an ultimate way to hurt anyone. Although their is no excuse for cheating but their are reasons for it.

"I do love him. But I don't think I'm in love with him. I thought about it and I thought a lot, I realized that our love is more about familiarity and comfortableness. It is like to love a friend, not a lover. There was no sparks, no passion and no excitement. I convinced myself that this is how everyone feels when in love.

"But it was until I saw what you and King have, it is something special. I like the way King's eyes would only focus on you and how his entire attention never alters away from you. Fuck I could practically feel the heat emerging from both you when you stare at each other. Luke never stares me like that, it is like our relationship was never alive. But Lucas, he was staring me the way I wanted to be stared at. He was looking at me like I was his whole world and I fucking loved it. If I had to revisit and revise, I wouldn't change a thing about yesterday. I don't regret kissing Lucas."

I think I am starting to understand her. She is confused between loving someone and being in love with someone. Loving someone is good and being in love with someone is best. Their should be no question really, the answer is clear.

I place my hand on her and ask her softly, "Are you going tell Luke?"

Her expression shutters at my question. She hangs her head down and inhales, "I don't know. I mean of course I'm going to tell Luke. He deserves to know. I just don't know how to tell him without hurting him. I may not be in love with him but I care about him. We have been friends for as long I could remember, I don't want hurt him."

That's probably a good choice. Lying is not something I appreciate, whether it's intention are good or bad, it's something I have always hated, a lie is the reason I lost my family so I usually try to be away from it.

As for Luke, he'd be hurt of course, but with time he'll move on. He will meet someone who would love him with everything and then he'd finally understand the difference.

I nod, "I agree. You should tell him and I also think you should break up with him. Luke deserves someone who could love him with her whole heart. It's not fair to him or you to continue this relationship when you don't know where your heart lies and it's certainly not with Luke. Do you think it's with Lucas?"

"I don't know. Luke is all I've ever known throughout my life. I am not sure if it was just lust for Lucas or something more but I know one thing for sure that I have never felt anything like this before. My whole body ignited from his touch and I felt like I was floating. It was the best damn feeling ever."

I think I know where her feelings are headed toward. From what she is saying it looks like she is finally going to the right direction of love. I have been there, done all the doubts; felt all the fears; overcame each of them and finally I'm in love. Very much in love with my incredibly hot and irresistible boyfriend.

My Romero

I jerk my attention back to her, "What was the Lucas reaction to the kiss?"

Lucas better not be just playing with her. I like Lucas just fine but I don't really know him to be sure enough of his motive. I hope the kiss meant just as much to him as it is to Sydney and I hope she is right when she said he was staring at her the way she wanted.

Letting out a breath she slumps lower into couch, "He said, 'we can't, it's wrong'. But from the look of his eyes I don't think he regrets kissing me and I hope I am right about this. I don't want to be only one to feel all this only to be turned down. I mean why would he kiss me if he didn't feel anything for me, right?"

Why indeed.

"So what now?"

"Firstly, I'm going to tell Luke and I will confess my real feelings regarding our relationship and then I will confront Lucas about our last nights kiss." She tells looking determined suddenly and I think it's good thing.

"You are doing right thing and I would suggest you to take your time for your next relationship so that you won't make same mistake again." I give her a small smile.

Launching forward she hugs me tightly that I return with little less eagerness. "Thank you for listening to me. I really needed that. I thought about calling Grace but she is their cousin and I didn't want her to judge me. I am sorry about ruining your time with King but I'm still grateful you came."

I recall of the time she was there for me when Romero stood me up. How she held me when I cried my heart out and how she murmured sweet words to calm me down. I think that was the first time I really felt close to her. I had realized she is a good friend despite her wild life.

I pull back, "Of course I would come. I am your friend and this is what friends are for, aren't they?" I then look at her state and fight an urge to cringe, "Er... you are really beautiful but I think it'd be much better if you wash your face or better yet have a bath. What do you think?"

She narrows her eyes. "I'd try be more considerate while telling I stink."

I shrug, "I'm sure you would. Result is same, so why bother?"

Huffing, she gets up from couch and turns toward her to room, "It's called being subtle, if you must know. It is usually used to not hurt others feeling."

"I wasn't sure you have feelings." I let a smirk appear on me face.

It's good thing she is behaving like her normal self. Miserable is not something that looks good on her. She is too bright to be sad.

"Bitch." I giggle slightly when hear her mutter as she walks away.

My phone vibrates against my pocket, I pull it and see it's grandma calling.

Crap

I planned on calling her today and forgot about it. I should have kept better record on this.

"Hello grandma." I greet her politely not knowing if she is still angry or not.

"Yesterday I had an interesting talk with Logan." No greeting? Okay.

"And?" I play along.

"And I think you know what that talk was about." Her tone is clip.

Oh no! She is still angry.

"I have no idea what are you talking about." I know what she wants from me but I'm not going to give in.

"Akira Ray, you know very well what I'm talking about. Why didn't you tell me you got selected in some exhibition show?" She demands.

"You were angry with me." I state.

"I am still pretty angry with you but I would have wanted to be first one to know and I...I would have wanted to be first one to congratulate you." Her voice quickens slightly.

Oh grandma!

"I'm sorry grandma. I wanted to call you but I thought I'd give you some time to cool of."

She is quite for a moment, "Are you still seeing that boy?"

"Yes."

"Is he treating you right?" She asks.

I smile. She is accepting him. "More than Right."

"Good." I can practically feel her firm nod from other side.

"Grandma I am sorry for hurting you." I murmur closing my eyes.

"I'm sorry too dear. You are just as headstrong as your father. I should have known better than to try to change your mind. I want to meet that boy."

Meet him?

No no!

It's so soon. I don't even know if he loves me and I'm yet to confess my love to him. We have so many things to resolve before I can think of involving him in my family. I love him, there is no doubt about it but I still need some time to adjust in this lifestyle, in his lifestyle.

I try to control my tone and to not show any rising panic. "I will ask him about it." I give her a short answer.

"Let me know what he says. Take care of yourself Akira."

"You too grandma. I love you."

I hang up.

What I am going to do now?