Christ!

This is cruel, so cruel to him.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry." I raise my hands to touch his face. He flinches, staggering few steps away from me and it hurts.

Profound emotions strikes me hard and at once that I now understand how he must have felt when I flinched away from him, it's like someone pulled your heart out from your ribs, the ache is that terrible. My eyes must shown pain for he avert his away from me.

"I was just seven year old when he decided I wasn't worth to keep living for." His voice steely hard. I watch his eyes turn so cold and emotionless that one would think it's an eye of dead person.

Oh Romero

I try to picture him as seven year old kid and imagined a handsome, dark haired boy with beautiful grey eyes filled with confusion and sadness. I imagined his helplessness and his anguish of not being able to help his father. The image breaks my heart.

How devastating he must have felt after witnessing his father take his own life. My family died in front of me I still can't talk about them without feeling like I'm drowning in the memory and here I am the one forcing him to talk about his worst nightmare.

Oh God, what am I doing?

"Stop! Please don't." I plea as tears spring from my eyes.

He immediately snap his narrowed eyes to me and sneers viciously, "Why? Don't you want to know my fucked up past?"

Shaking my head I cover the distance in two strike before wrapping my arms tightly around his torso I hug him and place my head on his chest. He stiffens but I don't let that discourage me and snuggle closer in him, his scent has an immediate effect on me.

"I'm sorry. God I'm so sorry for forcing you. I..I wanted you to tell me because you trust me, not like this. Never like this." My tears are soaking his shirt but I don't care at the moment.

He hesitates, just for a small second and then engulfs me in his possessive and protective arm burying his face in my hair, inhaling me. "Of course I trust you."

"But not enough to share your past on your will." I protest in small voice still clinging to him.

"My past doesn't define me. I never wanted you to find about my fuckedupness. I want to keep you away from them and safely in your heaven."

I twist my face up at his words and scowl, "That is the problem Romero. Your past doesn't define but it made what you are today. I want to know you, all of you. The good and the bad, and you want to keep your parts hidden from me. With time your hidden part will come between us and I fear if you don't open up, we are going to loose each other down the road and neither of us would be able to take it. I don't want that to happen with us Romero, I don't want to loose you." I shudder at the thought of loosing him. I can't imagine what I would do if I'm to ever see that day.

Releasing one of his arm, he brush away the trails of tear tenderly and his face softens considerably, "You won't loose me Ray, I will never let you. I can let you in, if that's what you want. Though it's not going to be easy for me and I'm going to screw up I know I will but I'm willing try. For you, I will do anything."

He places a soft, tingling kiss on my brows and I sigh under his touch, "I'm sorry about your father. I didn't have any idea that he died in front of you but I knew few rumours about his suicide." I tell him lowering my eyes.

He doesn't take it and lifts my chin to meet his eyes, "How?"

"Please don't be angry but I..I kind of googled you." I admit guiltily. I recall it was my first in this college and I was terribly curious about his mysteries when I gave in my temptation.

He looks passive but his grey eyes are warm and that's enough to relax me. "I am not angry and I can't even blame you for you curiosity when I keep trying to hide everything away from you. It's only natural to act on that but I'd suggest you don't believe in every word you read there."

"What is the truth, Rom? I want to know from you and that is if you want to tell me." I ask him, silently begging through my eyes for him give me something.

Untangling me away from his body, he leads me toward couch situated on few distance apart from his desk and pushes me down gently to sit on it, I oblige without any protest. Then he himself takes a seat beside me and grabs my hand firmly in his.

"As far as I can remember my mom and dad would always fight there were rarely few times when they didn't. For any outsider they were perfect power couple who could take anything together but it was only few people who knew the ugliness behind their relationship. They loved each other though, in their own fucked up way they did or at least my father loved my mother, I can't be sure about mother. They were good parents to me for they tried to keep their fights to them but I always found out."

He takes a breath before continuing, "I don't know what happened but one day they were fighting as usual when my mom came out of her crying and dad followed her behind. They didn't know that I could see them but I saw them arguing, mom wanted to leave and dad was begging her to not go. She didn't listen, didn't even think about me and left us. That was the first time I saw my dad fucking cry and the last time I saw my mother." He spits 'mother' with so much hate that a chill runs through my spine causing me to shiver momentarily.

"Next day when I went to my dad I couldn't even recognize him. Instead of a proud, confident man I found a shell of former, he was behaving like a madman and was begging me to bring my mom back. Then suddenly he stood up as if something fucking snapped in him and went inside to search his gun. I fucking stood there like a fool, watching him place his gun on his temple and take his own life and couldn't do a goddamn thing to save him. Hell even his last words were the confession of his love for my mom and that woman, she didn't even had a grace to come at his funeral."

He is shaking in rage by the time he stops speaking. Deciding to give him some time to come back from his memory, I don't speak anything else instead wrap my other hand around his arm and lean on his shoulder. I think he needed it. For how long he had kept that suppressed within him? If something is kept undisclosed for so long it starts stabbing and penetrating to resurface.

When I feel him calm down I look up to see him already staring me with an intense gaze that has my stomach doing a summersault, "Where is your mother now?"

Losing all the intensity his eyes go distant at mention of his mom. He shrugs nonchalantly as if he doesn't care about her whereabouts, "Don't know and don't fucking care. Probably playing family with her new husband and children."

Oh Romero, I know it still stings.

He acts though it doesn't matter and perhaps it doesn't now. But I am certain that somewhere deep down it still hurts him to think about his mother who doesn't even care about him.

For the life of me I can't understand that how could a mother leaves her child without any care? How could she be so cruel to not love her flesh and blood?

I don't even know the woman but an instant flame of distaste toward her burns in my chest. If I ever get to meet her I'd like to give her 'a piece of mind' just for hurting my Romero and show what a great man he has become even without her.

"I'm sorry." I glance up biting my lips and apologise for making him think about things he'd rather forget.

Affection replaces the distant gaze from his grey orbs and a ghost smile appear on his lips, "If you are done with your queries I would like to eat something. I'm quite famish." He is staring at my lips as he speaks and my lips throbs under his gaze, itching to touch his.

Food comes first, doesn't it? Though I believe kissing him comes first to me.

But alas! He wants bloody food so I would give him that

And I totally like the way he tries to lighten up the mood. It's not really a wonder considering how fast his mood changes. "Yes I'm done with my questions, for now. Let's go, Martha must be waiting for us."

Just as I go to get up he yanks me down, stumbling I fall on his lap. I look at him with wide eyes, he is smiling a wicked smile. His eyes shining with mirth and mischievousness. "I am not done with you yet. I still need my morning kiss." His husky voice knots my belly in several pleasurable knots. I can't help but lean close to him.

"I thought you'd never ask." Whispering as seductively I could, I press my lips to his and let him devour me.

And boy, was he hungry!

• • •

After our feeding session when we went to eat actual food I had hard time eating anything and it was because of my boyfriend who wouldn't stop touching me. He either had to hold my hand or place his hand on my thighs under the table. Whole time I torn between jumping on him and maintaining my dignity.

To say Martha was thoroughly entertain during our breakfast would be understatement, she never directly smiled but her eyes were enough to show what her lips could not. She was happy for her young master and it pleased me see both of them happy.

During that I got to know that Martha, Paul the security head and his two companions live in this very same building and are always ready in Romero's beck and call. I also got to know Martha is a widower, her husband was in army and died during his time there; Paul is a divorced man and the other two person I don't about are bachelor so they all manage to live in same condo. Though I personally don't think there would any problem if they few more people, the place is that huge.

Then he teased me mercilessly with his gaze and touch while I was trying to catch up with my work in his room, it's not until he got a call that's when he announced he had to leave to attend some meeting. I'd hate to admit it aloud but I instantly missed his presence.

To divert my mind from his absence I decided to look through email about details for tomorrow's exhibition. And now mid way rendering it I suddenly have this need to eat something. Knowing Martha put some left over in fridge I get up and make my way downstairs.

Opening fridge I run my eyes on the items kept in it and debate on what to pick.

"Hello"

Startle I spin around so fast that one would think I'd break my neck. In front of me is stood a tall man with intelligence in his grey eyes and sharp features with strong cheekbone and fit body. His age couldn't be more than forty and looks really handsome in grey suits.

"Hi?" I raise my brows in confusion.

Who is this man?