While I'm checking new collection of books during last few minutes at the library before today's work is over, my brain is having an inner turmoil. I'm conflicted between if I should go to club or not. Last time I went to a party I was assaulted and even that time I was not completely sure of my decision to go. I know I think a lot but even then I end up bad choice of decisions sometimes. Still confused after lots of reasoning I leave the decision for later after I talk to Romero. He probably knows how this club 'Kingly' is, considering Sydney didn't give me any address just the name.

Reading the time I sigh, he'd here in few minutes to pick me but instead of going back to his condo, like I have been doing lately, I'll have to go back to my dorm. These last few days we have formed a kind of routine of me going to his home, spending night there and the him dropping me off after having breakfast together. Sometimes we would watch movie or go out and other times he'd work while I did my homework. I love every moment we spend together, even those when he'd get irrationality jealous at any boy who stares me longer than what he thinks is appropriate. He would go all possessive, growling and glaring at everyone. Sometimes I find it cute but mostly humorously irritating, yet I would not change a thing about him if given a chance. I love him the way he is.

I know there are many things I don't know about him, like his parents. Once I even tried to talk about that but he got all rigid and closed off. Since then I avoided that subject but I also know I can't always avoid it. I gathered that It's touchy topic but I also told him about my parents and it wasn't easy. I am ready to give him sometime but nit forever.

In last few days I have not seen Alex or even heard from him. I'm too embarrassed to face him so I left him a message asking if he got the address to which he replied with a simple 'no', I can't tell if he is angry with me and if he is, then what for? I don't think there is anything wrong in kissing my own delicious boyfriend. I didn't even lead him on, since from starting I mentioned him about being just friends with him. But the look on his face other day says otherwise, I am not even sure if I read it right.

The bell of the clock indicating five pm has me picking on my speed of my work. After completing it, I dust my jeans and step out of shelves. Reaching my desk I grab my bag and approach Mr. Jacob's table.

"Old section is shorted out, Mr. Jacob but there are few books that have their binding ripped off."

He looks up from his register and squint his almost white eyes, "Ah, that's okay. I already called someone to fetch it from here. He'd here by 'morrow. If that is all you can go, I will lock it after I'm done." He doesn't wait to hear my response and goes back to what he was on before and that's not strange at all. I'm used to it.

Shrugging I make my way for the main gate of my workplace. Romero would be here in few minutes if he is not already outside. Stepping out I Close the door silently behind me and turn around. Surprised, I suck a breath at the sight him coming toward me with bunch of red roses in his hand.

How does he still manage to make me breathless from just one of his look is beyond me. I have given up on finding the reason behind the effects he has on me. I tried but it was fruitless so why do something we know is useless. I have just accepted him along with the power he holds over me.

When we are just one arm distance apart, I smile pointing at the flowers, "Is something special about today?"

His lips form a boyish smile, "Today is special for you."

He knows about my selection but how? I wanted to surprise him.

"Huh?" I play innocent blinking my eyes. It's so much fun to mess with him.

Rolling his eyes that are filled with fondness, he extend his hand offering me the flowers, "This is for the selection of your painting. I know how much you wanted it and what it means to you."

Feeling little touched that he cares about the things important to me. I take it from him and like last time they are bare of any thorn, "Thank you, they are too beautiful just like you."

Did I just-

You did!

Holy Crap!

The last part wasn't suppose to come out like that and from his raised eyebrows it's clear that he has not expected this too but the man knows how to control his expression. I feel heat creeping up on my face and a small teasing smile on his.

"Am I now?"

I avert my eyes in embarrassment, "You know you are."

Reaching forward he pulls me in his arm, "No I don't," pausing he tucks few of my hairs behind my ears, "But you are free to tell me until I'm fully aware. I quite like when you say it." He plants a kiss on my temple.

I sigh under his touch feeling all the exhaustion draining away from my body. A simple touch by him feels like a kiss from life, I relish the sensation before pulling away when I remember what I was supposed to talk him about.

"Sydney wants to celebrate with everyone for my selection at the club 'Kingly'. What do you-" I'm stopped here.

"You are not going."

With narrowed eyes I look at him, "Excuse me?"

He doesn't get to tell me what will I do or not, no one does. I was just going to ask his suggestion not permission. I don't need one.

His jaw works, "I said, you are not going there."

Oh hell no!

My temper flares, "Of course I'm going and if you don't want to go then that's fine, I'll go with Syd."

I don't know if it is good idea or not but I guess I'll be going now. I know it is stupid thing to do just because I want to spite him. But I don't like the cool tone he used on me while commanding his 'wish' and I'm going to make sure he knows that he can't always have everything according to him.

"Goddamnit! Why can't you just listen to me for once?! I am telling you, that place is not for someone like you!"

I jerk away from him feeling impact of his words, "You mean someone who is naive, stupid and embarrassing like me right?"

His eyes flash with fire but within seconds it cools down and replaced with icy orbs, "Your words not mine." He snaps passively.

I know tears have gathered at the corner of my eyes, but I don't let go of my anger and use it as my weapon, "You are an asshole!" Spitting, I spin around and march away from him.

How could he hurt me like that? Is it that easy for him? He knows how insecure I am about me being not good enough for him and his life, he still went ahead and hurt me. Traitorous tears starts falling down my cheeks I angrily swipe them away.

"Fuck!" I hear him shout behind me followed by his loud steps nearing me.

I speed up my pace but within next moment I'm caged in his arms, this is second time we are in this position but this time I don't struggle.

"Baby I'm so sorry." His voice his hoarse with emotions.

I don't melt under his touch this time and stand rigid, "Let me go." I speak steadily, checking my voice in control.

"Not until you forgive me. I am so fucking sorry, Ray. I swear I didn't mean that, you got to know I didn't. You are anything but those words. Please forgive me, Darling. Please." His voice is desperate but right now I'm too much hurt from his sudden switch off to forgive him.

"You hurt me." I whisper.

He press himself tight against me, "I fucking know that I did and I am so sorry baby. I really am."

"I-I can't talk to you right now." I tell him shaking my head.

He exhales a breath, "Okay but at least let me take back to your place. Please?"

"Fine." I agree mostly because I don't want walk down street looking like crying mess. I need few moments to put myself together.

I keep silent throughout our short drive so does he. I really don't want to talk to him because I feel like I'd burst if I talk to him. The only thing my brain and heart is able to take he hurt me.

When we are outside of my dorm, I don't him any glance when I tell him, "Thank you."

He doesn't make any move to speak and stays quiet. I get out of his car and stride toward my dorm.

A lone tear falls down as I hear his car drive off leaving me alone with my breaking heart.

Was that our first fight? And why do I feel like it's not going to be our last?