Anonymous

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Akira

I'm sat in front of Martha as she prepares sandwich for me, per Romero's order. He has excused himself to shower but before that he not so subtly demanded Martha to make something for me to eat and granted me a look that said 'you better do as told'. He then told me that he'd drop me off before my class starts and seeing I still have one hour left for my first class to start, I'm in no hurry. If I'm to be honest I'm quite hungry considering I have not eaten since yesterday morning.

I couldn't eat my burger last night because of Romero's call and that reminds me I have to apologize to Alex for brushing him off like that. I also need to know if he has asked his grandfather about Eveline.

"Here Ms. Ray." Martha says, pushing a plate for me.

I have told her few times already to call me Akira but she insists that she'd rather call me 'Ms. Ray'. It still makes me uncomfortable but I guess I can get used to it.

I thank her and she goes back to her work. I take a bite of it and stifle a moan of appreciation.

Mmm!

It's divine, if only I could get food like this. I don't think I could ever deny this.

I glance back at petite woman and clear my throat, "Is this a regular thing Martha? I mean for Romero to bring girls here?" I ask her.

You are prying.

I know that.

But it has been bothering me entire time I was sitting here. I don't want her to think of me like those girls too. I'm not the type of girl for whom others opinion doesn't matter. It matters to me and it matters a lot that what people think of me. I never want others to think of me as something I'm not.

Martha looks confuse at first before understanding follows and she smiles, "No Ms. Ray, its not common for him to bring a girl with him. You are the only girl who has ever entered this place."

"Really?" I can't hide the surprise and relief in my voice.

Surprise, for it feels unbelievable that he didn't bring any of those girls or Carina here and relief for I am not other one of his conquests. I feel like I'm special and important to him.

She nods, "I've known him since he was little boy and never once I have seen him with any girl. I even thought that he was gay until I got to know about his uh casual settings through Paul." She looks little uncomfortable as she gauges my reaction about 'his casual settings'.

You mean his fuck buddies.

I want to tell her that I already know of his 'fuck buddies' but I don't.

When I don't give her any reaction, she clears her throat and smiles warmly, "I was shocked when Paul informed me of you but I'm really glad it's you. God knows that the boy needs you in his life to see light of this world."

My face heats at her words, I duck my face down going back to eat my delicious sandwich. He doesn't need me to see light, does he? I know that he is smart enough to know where light ends and where darkness lies. He runs a business empire by his own, of course he'd know what is right or wrong.

Running business and living a life are two very different things. He needs you just like you need him.

I don't need him. I don't want to need him. Needing someone means we are dependent to them and I want to be free, independent. I can't need him to continue my life.

I shake my head in denial, "He doesn't need me. He is big boy."

Just like I am a big girl.

Her smile doesn't waver when she speaks, "He does dear, he does. I saw the way he looked at you, like he needs you more than his next breath. You will realise it soon just how much he needs you."

I don't answer her and she takes that as cue to resume her work. I think of her words while chewing my food, does he really look at me like that? How come I've not noticed it? I'm psychology student for God's sake, I should know of this.

A sudden wave of awareness prickles in my nerve notifying me of his presence. I turn back to see him standing by the bottom of stairs, dressed in a black V- neck tee with a jacket on and black jeans along with black leather boots. Damn if he does not look good. How is it possible for someone to look as good as he does? He always looks beautiful without even trying. Its should not be fair. I should resent it but I love it because he is mine.

Is he?

Of course he is.

He has a certain look on his face that I can't decipher. I give him small smile when he moves toward me. I offer my breakfast to him that he denies, shaking his head.

"You ready?" He asks with his deep voice that has me nearly melting like chocolate.

I nod, "Yes I am but won't you eat your breakfast?" I question.

He opens his mouth and closes it. He then takes my half eaten sandwich and pops it in his mouth followed by my half empty glass of juice.

I stare him dumbfounded, I didn't think he'd really eat it when I offered him. Bloody hell. We just shared my sandwich and juice. We really did and it doesn't feel uncomfortable at all. In fact it feels like normal thing to do.

I am in deep, real deep.

No shit!

"Done." He tells me, as if I haven't just witnessed it.

I slide out of table, wiping my lips and hands through napkin. I go to pick my dish when Romero stops me, "Leave it. Martha will take care of it."

"It's okay. I'm used to doing my own things."

He takes them from my hand, pinning me with his eyes, "I know you are. Let me do this."

Without waiting for my response he goes to sink, putting them there and washing his hands. He walks back to me, "Shall we go?"

I murmur, "Yes."

I like it when he takes my hand in his, holding in a firm grip. His simple touch travels through my body. I never thought that I'd be like this but I actually crave for any contact of his skin to mine. As intimate it feels, I revel in it. Even my body needs it as much as my beating heart.

When we enter his garage, I see four other cars there beside the one we are going to drive from and all different one of black colour. Just how much car he owns?

He opens its door for me to sit, once I'm seated he closes it before going for driver seat. I fasten my seatbelt when I see him doing his own, not wanting to give him any reason to be upset. I remember how last time he literally forced me to do so.

We drive in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I look in my phone to find I still have forty minutes left before my first class starts, giving me enough time to change my clothes, though its cleaned and not mention Syd's upcoming interrogation.

We pull up in front of my dorm. Unbuckling my belt I move to open my door when his hands on my arm stops me. I look back at him, he looks nervous and also on edge as he takes his hand off me, raking them through his hair avoiding my eyes.

I decide to break the deafening silence, "Are you alright?"

At my question he snaps his eyes to me, staring intensely in mine, he starts, "Do you... I mean would you like...," he lets out a frustrated breath, "Look, I....I want to take you on date tonight."

I look him with my wide eyes, taking in his words and he watches at me impatiently, "Well?" He asks through his clenched teeth.

I raise my eyes, "Is that a question?"

Nah, it is an order.

I think that too.

His brow furrows, "Of course it is."

He really doesn't know how to ask a question. I'm sure he is only used to giving commands, not asking them. That needs to change.

Oh yeah? How so?

I'd think of something.

I smile at his confused face, "Yes I'd like to go on a date with you."

He sighs closing his eyes and mutters, "Thank fuck."

I decide to tease him a little, "As long as you don't leave me standing there to wait for you, again."

He stiffens at my words opening his eyes, he let them meet mine. I see fear, vulnerability and panic in them. I realise how stupid it was for me joke about that. I'm an idiot, I shouldn't have brought that up when he already apologized so many times. Even though he didn't tell me the truth for why he stood me up, he still said sorry and I should wait, for him to see that he could tell me anything. Maybe that is when he'd tell me truth, not some excuse.

I lower my eyes, "I was just kidding. A stupid joke, really. I'm sorry."

He does not say anything but throws his head back at the seat. His hands clench tightly around steering wheel, I really regret asking him that. I think I should just get out of here and leave him to cool down.

Then out of nowhere a question flows in my mind, making me halt. I open my mouth and whisper comes out, "Can I ask you something?"

He glances at me wearily, analysing me, "Yes?"

I clear my throat, "You said I'm your girl but does that mean you are my... uh.. boyfriend?" I ask nervously.

I had to ask this and hear his answer to know that I'm not living a illusion. I need to know yesterday was real, not just a shadow of my brain.

He frowns, "Is that a question?" He repeats my words from earlier.

I nod, gulping, "Yes."

His grey eyes roam around my face before setting on my eyes with intensified stare making my heartbeat accelerate. He says, "You shouldn't need to ask me that, Ray. I am your whatever you want me to. Hell, I have been yours since the very first time I saw your beautiful blue eyes."