My heart is pounding so hard that I can hear it through my ears.

Goodness!

What does he mean by that?

"Never leave me."

Though it's just a simple sentence, it has more emotions that any other words.

I force my body to relax and pretend it is just his drunken mess.

Who am I kidding?

I know its answer, I know the what he meant and I just don't want to acknowledge it. I can feel it through thudding of my heart, through tightness of my tummy.

I sense it in my blood.

If only I could pretend to be oblivious, it wouldn't hurt this much.

Then why am I feeling cold?

Because you are also afraid of it. Afraid of holding on him. Afraid of falling for him! Falling in love with him!

No!

Of course not!

I can't fall in love with him. I just can't. It's absurd to even think of it.

Its impossible.

Is it?

He hates me.

He is just drunk that's why he is saying all this crap and I know, by tomorrow he'd not remember any of this. He would probably go back to same king and start insulting me.

I can't fall fall for him.

I will not.

Are you sure?

I ignore the snide remark and go to get up from my kneed position when he effortlessly pulls me on the top of him. I let out a shocked squeal as I feel hardness of his body beneath me. My whole body clenches feeling the electric current of contact.

His eyes are half-closed when I look at him with wide eyes trying to ignore our current condition we are in, considering half of me is on the top of him and other half of is hanging by bed. It is most uncomfortable situation I have ever been. I try to squirm out of his hold which only gets tighten in return.

I really suspect his drunken state for he yanked me so swiftly. He is so strong, I can't even nudge him.

Chain of thoughts breaks when he says, "It wasn't mistake."

What?

"Huh?" What is he talking about?

He open his burning eyes and peers me, fiercely. I see something else, something akin to uncertainty and helplessness, it nearly brakes my heart to find such vulnerable emotions in his usual cold gray orbs.

How could he turn from cold to vulnerable in moment of time?

Why does he need to cover himself with a cold mask?

And hell, why does he affect me so much?

Why do I feel his pain that he tries so hard to hide?

"Our kiss. It wasn't mistake. It never will. You get me?" He speaks these word with a density that I have to nod in answer, involuntarily.

It wasn't.

I know that.

He tugs me further and too easily so that I'm on top of him. Our noses are almost touching and his warm breath feathers my face, caressing my features softly, making me feel dizzy.

We both gaze in each other eyes for I don't know how long. Slowly he pulls my head to his chest as I start to feel drowsy. After few second of numbness I hear him murmur, "Don't ever leave me, Darling."

I don't know if I heard him right or not. I care not and I don't have energy to look up and confirm him so I don't respond, just lay emotionlessly.

It turns out I was not making up thing when he persuades me again in little slurry but strong voice, "Promise me."

Wanting to go back in beautiful numbness, I sluggishly mutter back, "Yes."

I have the feeling he likes my answer, for his tight muscles relax under me.

Hearing our quite breath as background music, I slip in blankness.

• • •

Sometime during night I half wake up with the sense of a hand brushing my face. It is caressing and stroking me gently. Feeling warm and sheltered, I snuggle deeper in it, going back in sleep.

In sweet oblivion.

But it never lasts, does it?

I wake up again but this time feeling cold not in sense of temperature, since I'm comfortably tugged in warm blanket, but due to absence of something or rather someone.

I snap my eyes open. Events of last night burst back with full speed, making me fully awake.

I look around but there is no sign of Romero anywhere. If it isn't for his scent still lingering in my pillow and me, I'd have thought last night was dream.

But it was not!

No it was not and now he disappeared on me before I could even wake up.

What to think of this?

Other than he was confused so he ran off or he was disgusted to spend night with me. My heart clenches painfully at the thought.

I don't know what I should feel right now but I know I'm sad and dejected for his absence. I know I shouldn't. I know it was doomed to happen but still.

Pathetic huh?

He is King after all!

How he is going to react next time when he see me? Probably insult me. I don't think he would remember anything considering how drunk he was.

But I will remember though.

I will remember every single thing, each of his words, every type of gaze and burning of his touch because I don't think I could forget anything even if I tried.

His words are imprinted in my brain just like his burning touch on my skin.

I sense burning in my eyes. I realise they are welled up, ready for me to break down at the loss of an unknown thing.

I want to laugh at mordacity for how I was lecturing myself of self confidence and now I'm freaking crying for him, for the void of his absence in my heart.

Stop this madness!

Few minutes of self pity, I strengthen and forced myself to stop. I gather my scattered emotions.

Move on!

With a heavy heart, I stand up and go to washroom to do my morning routine. After shower I'd certainly feel little bright.

Taking shower and I prepare myself pancake and syrup. I know food will make forget my misery.

Popping on couch I eat it silently since Sydney is still not here. She must be with Luke.

Lucky her!

To stay distracted I spend rest of my sunday cleaning and rearranging my possessions.

I also call my grandma. We talk for bit before I hang up feeling overwhelmed. I also call Logan but he doesn't pick up, I conclude they must be on date or something so I don't bother again.

I receive a message from Alex asking how I'm doing. I reply telling I'm fine.

By the time I'm done cleaning it's evening. I start doing my assignments.

Once I've completed it, I decide to paint. Halfway of the painting I hear a knock. Must be Syd, "Yeah?" I call out.

Sydney's head pops inside, "I've just arrived. Are you okay?"

I frown, "Why would I not?"

She observes me before shrugging, "You weren't feeling good yesterday right?" But she looks like she wants to add something more but stops herself.

Oh that.

I smile, "Yes. I'm perfectly fine now."

I don't know if Slade told her about Romero being here or not but I'd rather not.

If he had, I know she'd dig for more and I don't want her to think of me as a hopeless pathetic girl, that I'm.

Of course, you are!

Exhaling she nods, "Oh thank fuck. I've been worried about you. Alright I'm gonna sleep. Dead tired. Good night girl."

I wave her over, "Good night."

Once she shuts the door, I carry on painting until I doze off with the grey eyes waiting for me behind my closed lids.