Later that night I decided it'd have to stop, whatever it is. Never in my life before had I felt a sentiment with such vehemence. It scared me to the core, I've no idea how to to deal with it.

Not at all.

And not knowing is worst.

It's terrifying.

Most of all the hurt it inflicted was unbearable.

The pain was burning.

Oh, it was too much to handle.

If it wasn't for Syd, who noticed my discomfort that night and asked me leave, I'd have had a full mode panic attack right then and there. That's when I felt depth of this attraction. I realized he is really no good to me. I have to stay away from him if I want my sanity with me. I acted upon it, obeying my conscious mind not my heart.

Never in life before my heart ached more.

The whole next week I have been successful in avoiding him. Though I felt him trying to catch my eyes few times with his dark one's, I ignored it forcing my mind to not read more in it. In my psychology class, I would sit on the only seat left on first row so I could not see him. I'd stay behind after class so I wouldn't have to worry about bumping on him. I have spent most of my time at my work where surprisingly Mr. Jacob is warming up with me. Whenever we are free I'd ask him about his life in army and he'd tell me enthusiastically.

I've not seen Alex since first time but he messaged me few times asking how I am dealing with Mr. Jacob and about his treat I'm yet to give. I have spent some time with Dev too. He is really adorable, always thinking about his mom and sister. He is a positive spirit to be around with. It feels natural to communicate with him.

To avoid Romero, I even declined every offers from Syd of group activities so I wouldn't have to face him, I just didn't want to go there and see girls throwing themselves at Romero. I don't think I could have handled it yet, I'm still trying to get over that enthrallment. My emotions are already messed up from the last time I saw him going after that girl.

It still burns my heart.

Whenever I think of him with that girl, I get an awful feeling and my stomach knots in a piercing twist, stabbing me from everywhere.

Is that jealousy?

I don't know but if it is then it's extremely nasty. I don't ever want to endure this ugly poisonous feeling again. I despise this but because of it I know one thing for sure that I like Romero, more than I want to, more than I should.

And I hate it.

It is painfully hard to get over him, and it's irony when we weren't anything to begin with.

Irony indeed.

He is always humiliating me, embarrassing me but still my heart chooses him. I don't know why but it still tries to find goodness in him. It's like I have no control on my heart when it comes to him. It shows exactly how pathetic I am.

Drop it!

But I don't think luck is on my side today. It looks like I've no option but to face him. Thanks to Sydney and her stupid party.

"I don't want to hear any fucking excuse. You are coming to that party and that's final." Sydney's firm voice echoes in my room as she is trying to intimidate me with her 'I don't give a fuck' look.

"But I...I have to... clean my room." I struggle to come with any valid excuse, damn these weekends, not even my job could save me.

"You can clean it tomorrow. You are coming with me," she pauses looking direct in my eyes, before continuing, "I know you have some problem with King but I promise I'll not leave you alone."

My eyes widen at the the mention of him, "Wha... what are you talking about?" I stutter, avoiding her watchful eyes.

It was not that obvious, was it?

She scoffs,"Oh please like I have not noticed how you are avoiding him after last week when king was practically eye fucking you before he left with that whore."

Yes, he left.

With another girl.

I don't want to remember that. I have never been that sick before. He was staring me because he hates me not because he wanted me. I want to hate him too. I really want to but I can't just hate him.

My heart refuse to.

No matter how hard I try. It won't listen to me. Even when I say I hate him, I know it's not true, infact far from it.

"You got it all wrong Syd, he hates me and I'm sure he wouldn't want me there." I shake my head, playing with my pencil, I find it interesting at the moment.

She smirks as if she knows something I don't, "Who fucking cares what he wants. He can fuck himself for all I care. I won't let you miss your college fun because of a world class asshole."

Oh she caught me there.

She is absolutely right, I shouldn't miss my fun because of him, but party doesn't sound fun to me, nope, not at all. It might be fun for her but to me, my Netflix with popcorn are more than enough to have fun or some alone time with my painting will do too. I'm not gonna tell her that, she would just laugh at me and would call boring but really, I'd rather stay and watch ceiling than go to this party.

Should I go or not?

One party wouldn't hurt would it? What more could happen other then some new experience. I decide to agree to this party.

"Okay I'll go." I give in, sighing dramatically.

She squeals, an absolute girly squeal before jumping on my bed, "Yay. I'll do your makeup and you can wear one of my dress. I promise it'd be so fun."

I frown at the mention of dress, "Why? What's wrong with my dress?" I ask, defensive.

I like them.

She scoff, "You are going to your first ever party, of course you have to look hot. I highly doubt you have something hot and sexy in your wardrobe."

I feel little offended at her dismissal to even consider it, but she is right anyway. I don't really have any hot type of dress. Most of my clothes are jeans, sweatshirt and some cute looking dress.

I finally nod at her raised brows. She jumps out of bed, excitingly, dragging me along with her into her room.

What have I gotten myself into?

She opens her big closet, disappearing inside and returns with many dress. Dumping them on bed, she turns to me, with a hand on her waist, trying to look thinkable but in real, she looks damn funny doing it, I clamp a hand on my mouth to stop myself from laughing as she gives me an evil look.

She picks out one dress, "How is it?"

I scrunch my nose shaking my head, its green in colour and strapless. "No."

Throwing that away she shows another one, it's black but its neckline seems very deep, "Okay. This?"

"Nope. Too short." I deny her.

Sighing, she explore again before returning back to closet.

I feel guilty for making her do this but I couldn't really wear those dresses, I'd not be comfortable in these short things. This is so not me.

She returns with a happy smile and white dress, "Go on try this. This will totally fit you."

Throwing me dress, she pushes me inside bathroom. I look at the dress before wearing it. It pure white apart from some silver work at outline. It's sleeveless and has small v shaped neckline that doesn't show much of my breast. It's not very short reaches a little above my knees, just the way I like it. I don't know whether It looks good on me or I look good in it, nonetheless I'm looking better or pretty even. It fits my body every way, showing off curves of my petite figure.

I look good.

"You are not pretty enough."

Out of nowhere, his harsh words come back in my head making me tremble all over again.

Jesus stop. Just stop it!

I shake my head. No, I'm not going to let him ruin this too for me. I won't let him control my mind like that.

I won't.

With profound determination I come back, Sydney squeals again bouncing on me when she sees me, "Oh my god. You look absolutely beautiful. You are so wearing this, it shows your every fucking curve."

I smile in agreement before I take a good look of her and my eyes widen at how beautiful she is looking in her dress. She's already changed in purple tight dress that reaches mid thigh showing her long sexy legs. Her black hair is contrasting her skin. She is fully ready from her hair to make up along with sandal.

Jeez, how much time did I take?

"C'mon let me do your make up." She makes me sit on a chair and starts her torture but I remind her not to do much. I don't really wear make up.

She plucks my brows, I wince at how much it hurts, Sydney says it's because of my first time. Then she puts some powder followed by mascara and don't know what else. She ends it with applying some lipstick on my lips before going to hair. She curls my normal straight blond hair beautifully, pinning it from side.

Finally releasing me, she steps back motioning me to mirror. Standing, I turn back to look at mirror and I can't believe my eyes. I look way lot different, I look hot, beautiful and even confident too. My eyes look more beautiful than ever. My hair are perfect.

I look beautiful.

I smile at my reflection, "I look good." I utter dumbly when his voice doesn't come back.

Snorting, she retorts, "You are looking beautiful and gorgeous not just good. Guys will drool over you. Here, try this."

"I'm not wearing a heel, nope, I'll definitely fall." I shake my head, eying pair of heels on her hands.

I could never walk on that.

She rolls her eyes, "Don't be a baby. It has wedges, you won't fall."

Wedges?

That's relief.

"Fine." muttering, I put it on before following her out.

Let's see what night is awaiting us.

Lets just hope to be done with this party night quickly.