I have been aware of the world where my family is since I was a kid. From my dad to my brother, and now... to my husband.

Gumagalaw kami sa mundong hindi para sa mga ordinaryong tao na ang hanggad ay simpleng buhay. Cause our lives are already measured. Hindi namin alam kung baka ngayon o bukas bigla na lang may mga kalabang bumulaga sa amin caught us off-guard.

"Dimaria?" Tt's warm. Despite the cold, there's this warm feeling that penetrates my skin. A soft voice called for my name as I slowly opened my eyes.

My vision started to adjust as I finally saw who was calling my name. I groaned.

He looks worried. I can see it through his eyes, at sa kabila ng sakit...nagawa ko pa ring matuwa kasi nakikita kong nag-aalala siya.

"Wife." I smiled and grip on his shirt bago mas siniksik ang sarili sa kaniya. I'm cold. I heard him muttering curses.

"Shit where the fuck is Holand! He must be here now!" inis na singhal niya na para bang anong oras ay bubuga na siya ng apoy.

He stroked the strands of my hair first and then tightened his hug. He even kissed my head, before pulling me closer to him enough for me to hear his erratic heartbeat and feel his warm body.

"Damn it Holand! If ever something happened to my wife, I'll kill you!" narinig ko siyang bumulong pero tanging pagmumura lang niya ang naririnig ko. I shut my eyes tightly and grip on his waist. Nakakatawa na kahit masama na ang pakiramdam ko ay naiisip ko pa rin na sulitin ang pagyakap ko sa kaniya. Na sa kabila ng tama ko, mas inisip ko pa na ayos lang kung ito naman ang kapalit.

I love his warmth, I love this. I love wrapping my arm around his waist. I love listening to his heart and feeling his warm body. I felt him move and was about to get up, but I gripped his waist and looked at him with my eyes half open.

"Ter...d-don't leave."

He stares at me before taking a deep breath and kisses me on the lips. Bumalik siya sa pagkakahiga at muli akong niyakap.

"I'm sorry..." I'm not sure if he really did say that. I am falling asleep, still trembling and cold.

The only thing I remembered was him, caressing my shoulder and whispering words I couldn't understand clearly anymore.

Nagising ako na walang kahit na sinong katabi at puro puti ang nasa paligid. Hindi na ako nagulat pa at nag-isip kong nasaan ako, cause obviously I'm in the hospital.

Ilang beses pa ba akong mapupunta sa ganitong lugar? Mukhang nasasanay na ako.

I asked the nurse who entered to open the TV for me, and she gradually obeyed my request. Tahimik akong nanood at naglipat ng channel, nababagot sa pagkakahiga ko, still thinking where's my husband right now.

Nawala lang yata ang pag-iisip ko kay Hunter ng makita ang manager ni Tremor. He agreed to have an interview? But where's Tremor?

"Oh, Tremor quit his job."

What?!

Napabangon ako at salubong ang kilay na mas pinanood pa at pinakinggan ang sinasabi ni Kye. Umalis siya?! No way! Tremor loves his job! We've been friends since I started to be a model in Vegas.

Hindi pwedeng basta-basta na lang siya aalis without even telling me! He could just have told me or informed me! Kaibigan niya pa rin ako, and I thought...he loves me?

"Dimaria..." narinig ko ang boses ni Hunter, pero nanatili ang matalim kong tingin sa TV, habang mahigpit na nalahawak sa bedsheet na halos mapunit na 'yon sa inis.

"Tremor, that punk!" I screamed in anger, na halos makalimutan ko nang naroroon pala at nakatayo sa gilid ng kama ko si Hunter. Bigla niyang kinuha ang remote at pinatay ang TV na kinatingala ko sa kaniya at muntik ko pa siyang singhalan.

"Why are you so upset?" halatang naiirita siya pero wala ako sa wisyo para matakot o kabahan sa inaasta niya dahil galit ako.

"Hindi man lang siya nagpaalam sa akin! Ilang beses ko siyang tinatawagan he wasn't answering, tapos malalaman ko na lang umalis na siya sa trabaho and now! Now! I have no idea where he is! Damn it!"

"And why are you so concerned about him, about that?! Gust niya 'yon, and why are you calling him?! He was just your friend!" nagulat ako sa galit na sigaw ni Hunter pero wala ako sa mood na makipagtalo sa kaniya kaya hindi na lang ako sumagot.

"Kailan ba ako makakalabas dito? Gusto ko nang umuwi." malamig na tanong ko at bumalik sa pagkakahiga. Hindi siya sumagot or kumilos kaya ng tingnan ko siya, I see fear crosses his eyes that was replaced by irritation.

"You're acting like this even when I'm with you? Do you like that guy?"

"Of course," He's my friend. I like him.

"Forget about him, you're married to me already!" Napalingon ako sa kaniya pero umiwas siya ng tingin.

"Wala ako sa mood i-handle ang inis mo Hunter. Ilabas mo na lang ako rito, at umuwi na tayo..."

"Forget him."

"He's a friend."

"Pero mahal ka niya!"

"Mahal ko ba?" malamig na tanong ko sa kaniya na mas kinadilim ng anyo niya.

"Kung sabagay, bakit nga ba hindi? Matagal na kaming magkaibigan at nagkakasama sa mga shoot. Kilalang kilala ko na siya, at mabuti siya. I could have fallen for him...kung hindi nga lang tayo kasal baka tinanggap ko na siya at minahal." hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero kusa iyong lumalabas sa akin. I don't want to upset him, and it's clear to me that he's the one I love. Pero dahil wala ako sa mood at galit ako kay Tremor, pati si Hunter idinadamay ko.

"Stop talking nonsense." Tinalikuran niha ako at mabilis na lumabas. I breathed heavily and closed my eyes.

Sa kabila ng galit ko kay Tremor ay hindi mawala ang pagkalito ko sa mga kinikilos ni Hunter.

He said he loves me, or is it just a dream. Pero ang reaksyon niya kanina...para siyang nagseselos?

Mahal ba talaga niya ako? Kasi matutuwa ako kung oo. Should I test him more? Tease him? Make him jealous? Gosh, I am so desperate.

I want him all mine. But I still have my doubts? What if he's playing tricks on me and secretly meeting Amari?

What if... Fuck!

Hunter came back with a paper bag in his hand. Tahimik niyang nilapag sa maliit na table sa gilid ang mga iyon af nilabas ang ilang black styro.

It turns out that he brought me something to eat for breakfast, and I just observed him silently. His face was pale. I could see faint dark circles on his eyes, magulo ang buhok at napansin kong gusto ang suot. Did he stay all night last night? Hindi ba siya natulog?

"Eat breakfast first; we'll leave later." humarap siya sa akin, marahan naman akong bumangon at naupo sa stool. Habang siya'y tumungo sa stool sa harapan ko at pinagbukas ako ng tubig.

I can't help but appreciate those gestures. I was afraid it was just a dream I might forget or not after I woke up. Mas maganda nga kung makakalimutan ko na lang at hindi na maalala.

Mas masakit kasi kung naaalala mo pa ang panaginip mo tapos hindi naman mangyayari.

There are happy memories that we would rather not remember. Because sometimes it is not the painful memories that can make us sad but the happy memories themselves. Tahimik kaming kumain at ilang oras lang ay lumabas na rin kami para umuwi.

He told me to rest and I thought he'd stay at home, pero nang may tumawag sa kaniya ay nagmadali siyang umalis. Ganyan din si Damon, kapag tungkol sa org niya. Kaya sanay na rin ako.

Minabuti kong magpahinga, since Hunter told me not to work for now. At manatili na lang daw muna rito sa bahay. He also told me not to attend classes at mag h-hire na lang daw siya ng private instructor para kahit nasa bahay ay nakakapag-aral at nakakasabay pa rin ako.

Reason? Baka raw balikan siya no'ng lalaki at baka imbes na siya ang puntahan ay ako ang pagdiskitahan. Naintindihan ko naman. I'm supposed to sleep, but I can't. Pinagmasdan ko na lang ang kwarto ni Hunter kung saan ako natutulog hanggang sa dumako ang tingin ko sa closet niya.

Marahan akong naglakad at tumungo roon, marahan kong binusan at noong una ay wala naman akong nakitang kakaiba roon not until I saw something behind his hanged coat. Tila may bagay na nakatago roon kaya marahan kong hinawi ang mga coat niya only to find a painting.

Naka-frame ito at natatakpan ng mga coat kaya hindi agad makikita. I took it at ng mas mapagmasdan ko ito ay halos mabitawan ko ang painting ng makita kung kaninong mukha ng naroroon.

It looks like... Amari.

But I knew it wasn't her!

E-Eto ba ang ex-financeé niya?

Kaagad ko 'yong binalik sa dati nitong kinalalagyan at mabilis na bumalik sa kama. I tried to forget about it. Ayoko na lang mag-isip pa tungkol doon. She's dead already.

Hindi sa kaniya dapat ako makipag kompetinsya, kung mayroon man..it should be Amari. Siya lang naman ang sa tingin ko'y mahirap kong kalaban to win Hunter's love.

Napadaing ako ng sumakit ang sugat ko. I almost forgot that I was shot last night.

I want to laugh at myself. What got into me that I let myself be shot even if the bullet was for Hunter?

I remembered how I pulled him to run just to shift our position.

I'm really too insane to do that. Kapag nalaman 'to ni Lucifer, he'll probably freak out at natitiyak kong sapilitan niya akong ilalayo kay Hunter. Ayoko mangyari 'yon kaya wala akong balam na sabihin sa kaniya.

I chose to call for Hunter but he didn't pick up, so I chose to call the front desk to ask if pumasok si Hunter but they told me he wasn't.

Maybe it was really about the organization.

Bumaba ako para magluto ng pagkain, marahan pa ang paglalakad ko dahil kumikirot talaga ang likod ko. Madaling lutuin lang ang pinili ko para makakain agaf at pagkatapos ay bumalik ako sa kwarto. I slept the remaining hours of the day and woke up at exactly 7 in the evening. I groaned and got myself up and walk out of the room to check if Hunter was already home and preparing us dinner, but I found out that I was all alone. I wonder where Jock is? And his other men? Dapat ay naririto sila.

Hindi naman niya inaalisan ng tauhan dito, may nangyari kaya?

I shrug it away and choose to cook myself a dinner. Baka kumain na siya roon. I was about to step inside when I heard the door creak. Excitement rushes through my body. He's home!

Mabilis akong humarap at tumungo sa may salas kung saan malapit ang main door ngunit kaagad akong natigilan ng makitang hindi si Hunter kundi dalawang lalaking naka mask at naka itim ang pumasok mismo sa main door.

How did they—

I gasped when their eyes immediately landed on me. Hindi maliwanag ang ilaw dito dahil hindi ko naman binuksan ang main, tanging ang lampshade lang.

Kaagad na nanginig ang katawan ko.

"S-Sino kayo? A-Anong..." images flash in my mind. Pakiramdam ko'y nahilo ako at muntikan nang matumba.

"Kuya! Kuya! I'm scared!"

Voices of a kid crying, terrified, and pleading for her brother

It was me.

It was dark. Too dark. I want to see what's on the other side of the darkness.

"Mag-isa siya?"

"Oo, na-check ko na pero wala talagang mga tao."

"That Hunter-fucking-Martinez was being careless leaving his wife alone?" they laughed, pulling something that makes me shiver.

Guns. They both have guns.

"A-Anong kailangan niyo sa akin?" I'm having trouble breathing. Nanginginig na ang katawan ko, at halos mapaiyak pa ako ng tumama ang likod ko na may sugat sa ilang mga trophy na nasandalan ko. Nahulog ang mga iyon at nabasag near my feet.

Hunter. Where are you?

Pasekreto kong kinapa ang phone ko ang typed his number, kabisado ko iyon. I called him secretly, pero hindi niya sinasagot! Did he purposely cancel my calls? Naiyak ako sa pag-iisip noon dahil ramdam kong totoo. Ano bang ginagawa niya ngayon? Nasaan siya? May kasama ba siya?

"We can have her first, before we kill her. Ang tagal ko ring pinagpapantasyahan ang modelo na 'yan.. .hindi pwedeng ang putanginang Hunter lang na 'yon ang makatikim."

"Good idea."

Hunter...

I cried.

Imbes na tumawag ng tulong ay napaiyak na lang ako. Wala akong magagawa. Kahit magsisigaw ako walang makakarinig sa akin. Kahit tumakbo ako ay maaabutan nila ako.

"Oh, umiiyak ka agad? Hindi pa nga nagsisimula."

"Please...spare me," I cried. I covered myself using my trembling arms.

Naramdaman ko na ang pagkawak nila sa balikat ko at pagtawa na tila, masaya silang may magagawa sila sa akin.

"Hunter..." I cried his name when they held my hand to tie it.

Kumakawala ako at sinubukan silang labanan. I shouldn't let them scare me. I've been in worse when I was a kid. I don't want to suffer like my brother!

"Argh! Tangina!"

"Fuck you bitch!"

Nagawa ko silang masipa at habang namimilipit pa sila ay pinilit kong makatakas. I run. Nasa labas na ako ng maabutan akk ng isa at mahila sa buhok ko.

I screamed in pain, but the other one punched my stomach. I struggled hard, but they pushed me off the floor. The other one towered over me, and the other one was stopping me more.

I cried harder when they taped my mouth and started to rip my clothes.

No! No please!

Hunter! Hunter, please help me!

When they started to touch my thighs and chest, all I wanted right now was to die. My tears can't stop. I was praying with my swollen eyes, I was just praying to the almightly to just take my life away.

When I was on the verge of wishing to die, someone came running and shot these two filthy evils. Tumalsik pa ang dugo nila sa mukha ko, dahilan para mapapikit ang isa kong mata. I was trembling.

Buong katawan ko ang nanginginig. My breathing becomes rough, habang lumalala ang pag-iyak ko'y ang pakiramdam na kinakapos ako ng paghinga.

"Miss Divecca! M-Miss!" He pulled me and let me rest in his arms. I smiled, struggling to breathe while crying.

"J-Jock..."

"I'm sorry, miss, I'm sorry. D-Dapat kanina pa ako lumabas para tulungan ka... I'm sorry..."

"Y-You knew it all a-along?" nahihirapang tanong ko, and his tears just gave me the answer.

I want to scream.

"I'm sorry, Miss... pero hindi ko po talaga kaya na manood lang."