"Kaden, he's crying again," I mumble to Kaden.

"Go see what he wants then," he grumbles in reply. Ugh. I swear, I'm always the one doing this. I love Joshua but it would be nice if Kaden helped.. It has only been a couple of months since Joshua was born and he was a very fussy baby.

I got out of bed and walked to the room joined to ours. Kaden got it built so that whenever we had babies, they could be right next to us rather than down the hall. I walked over to Joshua and picked him up. "Aw, baby, what's wrong?" As soon as he was in my arms, he stopped crying. This always happened. Maybe it soothed him to be in my arms? I kissed his forehead as he looked up at me with his wet eyes. "Did you just want mummy?" I ask him, knowing he couldn't even reply. I test my theory. I place him down in his cot and walk off. He starts to cry again until I walk back in and pick him up.

I wanted to sleep and I could only think of having him in the bed with us but I heard of stories where people accidentally slept on their babies and they ended up dying.. I didn't want that for Joshua no matter how fussy he got. Instead, I took him down arises to the living room where I sat on the couch and cradled him in my arms. He soon fell back asleep. I sigh with relief and make my way upstairs to out him back in his cot. I swear, I'm walking all around the house. Once I do and leave the room, I am so thankful he doesn't start to cry.

I make my way into mine and Kaden's room and find him still fast asleep. Yes, he's am Alpha but he still gets more sleep than I do. He plays the 'I'm an Alpha and I did a whole day of work' card whenever there's night feeds or anything. It frustrated me a lot and I thought he would be a good dad, always helping me out too. I suppose I was wrong about it because he hardly even helped me with Joshua. He saw Joshua and spent time with him, don't get me wrong, but whenever Joshua needed nappy changing or anything.. It was automatically my job.

I took a deep breath and closed the door, making my way back downstairs. I lay on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. Will it always be like this? I found myself falling back asleep, until I was woken by Kaden.

"What are you doing down here? He's crying," he tells me and I frown. I swing my legs around and get off the couch.

"Hey, little man. What's wrong? Sleepy? Nappy change? Are you hungry?" He makes a sort of sound of approval upon mentioning the word 'hungry' so I took it as a yes that he was hungry. We go downstairs, always up and down, and into the kitchen. I warm up some baby formula for him because I wasn't really into breastfeeding in all honesty. I sat down on a chair as I fed him. He was making gurgles of approval and was waving his hands around a little. "You're so cute," I coo. "If only daddy helped me out a lot more he would see how adorable you are whenever." I heard shuffling behind me and gasped, turning around. "Oh, Kaden, I-"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, sounding broken. He strolled off and I soon heard the front door being shut. I couldn't go after him, I was feeding Joshua. I looked away for a moment, sadness clouding over my mind. I made Kaden sad.. I can feel his sadness.. Joshua started to struggle so I pulled the bottle away from him. As if sensing my sadness, he started to cry too. I put the bottle down on the table and brought Joshua closer.

"Don't you cry, little man. I'm okay, you're okay, we're all okay. Please don't cry," I whisper to him, almost feeling as if it's my fault. My dad is right, isn't he? I ruin everything.. "I'm sorry," I murmur. When he eventually stops crying, I proceed to burp him. I go and put him up in his cot and quickly shower and get myself dressed. I know it wasn't ideal leaving him alone but I honestly only took seven minutes to shower and dress.

I picked him up and packed a few stuff like diapers and baby formulae before leaving the house. I made my way to the pack house and found Edna who gladly took him. I gave her the bag too. "Are you alright, dear? You look awfully worn out." It was at that moment when I broke down and told her how let down I felt by Kaden.

She comforted me and told me I shouldn't have to do this all on my own. She told me that she was always here for me but I told her I didn't want to always leave Joshua with her when I needed some sleep or anything. He was my baby and I wanted to care for him but I couldn't do it alone, could I? I cried for what seemed like ages but then my tears melted away. I left her with Joshua for the time being and went down to the basement.

"You were right," I whispered to my dad. "You've been right all along, I'm worthless." I hadn't gone down to see him after that time I told him I was pregnant. Kaden wouldn't allow me. Right now? I just felt like I had to speak to him.

"I've been wrong, Nova. I've treated you like crap and I'm paying for it. You didn't deserve anything the pack or I put you through, you deserved none of it. I hate how I've never seen that. You're my daughter and I should've been there to love you. I should've been there to care for you and help you through that difficult time. We should've helped each other and got through it together. I don't want you to accept any apology of mine or forgive me, I don't deserve that. You must listen to me when I say you're not any of those things I told you." My mind swirled with confusion. The man who broke me down is now trying to build me up? I didn't get it and I wasn't believing it. "How is my grandchild?"

"He's healthy," I tell him, "and fussy." I sit just outside of my dad's cell and frown. "I can't do this."

"What? Sit with me?"

"No, I can't be a mum. I can't do it on my own," I say, my eyes starting to well up.

"You have your mate though."

"I thought I did," I whisper, "but he doesn't help me." For a brief moment, I question as to why I am confiding in him. Maybe it's because I still view him as my dad, I don't know. Maybe I want my dad to comfort me and tell me everything is okay. But how could he? He's resented me for so long and I don't think we would ever get back to how things were before mum died. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come." I quickly stand up and run out, despite him calling my name. I run out of the pack house and into the forest. I break down against a tree, my head in my hands.

"Love," I hear his voice croak out. I look up, my cheeks stained with tears. He rushes towards me and bends down, wiping my tears away and holding me in his arms. "I'm so sorry," he whispered in my ear. "I didn't know I.. I should be a better mate. I'm.."

"Don't worry about it," I dismiss, sniffing slightly. He pulls back with an annoyed expression. Oh no.. Did I say something wrong? "I'm sorry," I squeak out, not wanting him to do anything to me. What am I saying? He wouldn't, would he?

His expression softens as he says, "Why are you sorry? You haven't done anything wrong." I'm going back to my old ways.. I can't, not since I've come so far. "Nova? Are you okay?" I push him away and stand up.

"I'll always be broken and you can't fix that," I say before walking away from him.

*

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