From travelling the long distance between the mansion of the Green family to Abel’s Heilon castle, I, who had journeyed such a long distance, finally managed to have a thorough sleep. Two days after that incident, and meeting Abel and Jeron for the first time, I had fully recovered from my exhaustion.

Coincidently, or maybe not, at the same time that I woke up, Abel called for me.

“Kid, now is your chance. Time to prove what you said here. Of course, you weren’t bluffing right?”

In the early morning, with the glints of light shining in from the colourful frosted panels, on the side of the hall, I found Abel glaring at me condescendingly. This man seemed to not sleep at all. The moment he saw me, he had arrogantly addressed me, though contrary to my interpretation, I’m sure thousands of women would fall for him upon hearing his voice. Just…unfortunately, they were not the target. That distaste was directed at me.

However, despite Abel being a character I had personally created, his words had no effect on me. Moreover, the more I observed him, I noticed that except for his face, there really wasn’t much to the eye. Especially that personality of his…ah, why did I create such a man?

Barely able to hold back my yawn, I uttered a single statement of compliance. “I understand.”

Fiona’s body was still young. It was needless to say that after waking up so early, and in spite of getting enough sleep, she was still quite groggy. Anyway, who wouldn’t want more sleep?

I shot a quick contemptuous glance at Abel, before glancing back down at my feet. The sun that had barely risen emitted the first of its warm rays from the glass panes. I stepped into a diamond shaped pool of light on the floor. How pretty, even without looking above, one could tell how elaborately adorned and elegant the building was: everything was of the highest quality, even the floorboards.

Seeing me looked so relaxed, Abel laughed. “Aren’t you afraid?”

Hearing his mocking tone, I unenthusiastically answered back. “Even if I was, what use is it to be scared?”

To be honest, I was not worried in the slightest. I mean, although I used to live in the age of the science era, the 21st century which allowed me to have the most comfortable and convenient lifestyle, and then was thrown into this medieval fantastical world, I knew Fiona’s future. That knowledge, being in my hands, was my trump card. Despite the absence of technology – the internet, I had a cheat no other person in this world had. That, and I was also the author, meant I was omnipresently able to navigate this world.

If I were to be afraid…well, considering my current situation, that was not an option at all.

“Just so you know, for reference, I will go with you. However, it is not my duty to protect you. Your death is not my responsibility. You understand what I’m saying right kid? That means you could die.”

Abel eyes glimmered as he spoke, seemingly out of concern, but I could detect the sarcasm and mockery hidden beneath. Did he really want to scare me so badly? In the back of my mind, I could picture him as a tiger, laughing down at the prey that had been captured yet by the cub, yet unwilling to help at all.

I was still a child, was he seriously that incapable of talking nicely to a little kid?

“It doesn’t matter. I am not afraid of death; of dying.” I replied calmly. I finally looked up at Abel, and our eyes met. I stared straight into his swirling blue irises that lacked the mirth the smile on his lips were showing.

In all honesty, it was not a bluffwhat I was saying. I truly meant it. Moreover, how could I be scared, when I knew this was the outcome upon arriving. I came, knowing that I could potentially meet an early death, but also an opportunity to change my fate. I came, alone, and despite that, never once expected to be protected in the first place.

As a matter of fact, what to me, was worse than death, was a future void of hope. One that followed the course of the original novel, precisely. No hopes, no dreams, a pointless life. Even death would be more welcomed than that. So of course, I wouldn’t fear it.

Well, even though I had no intention of going to battle and be torn up by those monsters, letting them hand me on a silver platter, the end of my life, I would rather keep my eternal sanity. If my fate ended up being that kind of cruel ending, surely it would be better to die now. I’d rather do that than let my soul suffer in an endless cycle of torment, right?

In addition, the positive point of being knowledgeable on the course of my future, was that I need not be afraid of the present. Yes, what could possibly be worse than experiencing such a pitiful childhood, living such a miserable life, then meeting such a horrific end?

At some points in time, the thought of the events Fiona experienced in her life would flash through me. Whenever that happened, I felt like I wanted to sob out my woes. Why did I, out of everyone else, have to possess Fiona’s body in the world I had created? Not even the heroine – I wasn’t asking to be her, but, just anyone except Fiona. A cannon fodder character would have been ten fold better. I sighed thinking about that.

“….”

Having been lost in mixed thoughts, I realized that I was surrounded by silence. Not only Abel but also Jeron looked at me with strange eyes.

“W, why? Why are you staring at me like that? Is there something on me?” I stuttered, confused and slightly feeling intruded by their pitying gazes.

Suddenly Abel placed his hand gently on my head. “I see. I’m sorry kid”

“What?” I glanced up startled at the sudden contact.

“Personally, it’s always amusing seeing someone struggle to live. Their wills get extinguished by my words, like a flame in the wind. But you…your reaction, it’s boring. Hmm, the entertainment I thought you would give me, no fun at all..”

Abel patted my head whilst saying those strange words. It was not fitting at all, for a character like him, in the slightest!

“….”

After hearing that remark, I could hear Jeron, audibly sighing from behind him. I relented. My feelings were the same as Jeron. This man…really, he considered everything a game, and he stood above it all. He had everything, status, power, wealth.

I breathed in deeply, and looked up through the window. The blue ocean above was cloudless, the curvature of the spires in the distance were like tides painted against the sky. Mixed feelings of relief and resignment settled in me.

Why did a human with such a personality like this exist in this world?

Hang on a sec…come to think of it, this is the world of fiction that I had personally written. Does that not mean that I contributed to creating this person?

…… damn it.

***

DING! DING! DING!

Could my fortune become any worse? The moment I had arrived at the second wall, accompanied by Abel, a loud bell pealed. The echo of brass could be heard from miles away from the wall, travelling through the air to alert all those involved with protecting human kind, to prepare. It was an announcement, and a warning. The monsters were coming.

“…… you must be kidding me.”

A low whisper of shock, and exhaustion escaped my mouth, before I could take back those words. I realized there unfortunately, was no time for me to rest and take a break after the rough, long journey to the second wall.

Abel cunningly smirked at me. His smile was absolutely vicious. In that moment I doubted anyone could appear as wicked at him. But…he seemed to be having…fun?

Seriously, his expression was really unfitting, and not appropriate at this time. There were monsters in his estate, yet…he had time to smile like that? Was a situation like this supposed to be taken lightly like a game?

“Do you not think that this is perfect timing? It’s just the right time, kid.” In contrast to his facial expression, which irked me greatly, Abel continued in a relatively neat tone.

“Let’s see how worthy you are.”

I see…so his plan all along, was to throw me into the middle of the pool of monsters wrecking havoc right now? Those ghastly creatures with faces of demons. Anyone would shiver upon hearing about them, and faint at the mere sight of them. Let alone, this man, he really wanted to chuck me into the scene, not willing to wait. It appeared as if I was a sacrificial lamb, an appetizer to sate their growing hunger and keep the monsters occupied for a while, in Abel’s eyes.

Well. Challenge accepted. I definitely will not lose.

Fortunately, like most mages in the fantasy genre, in this world, the mages needed only to attack the monster from a distance to make critical hits. It was a relief therefore, knowing that we did not have to go to the front lines of the battle, and meet at where the beasts were gathering in order to prevent their strike.

What should I do to impress him with my usefulness in this situation?

Since this was the first time I was here, at least I had to figure out what the range of the battlefield looked like. Without knowing a map of the terrain, it was hard to navigate. This, I had actually described it in writing, but seeing it with my own eyes was different. So I thought that the best way was to go up atop of the dusted limestone, allowing myself to gain a better view over the battlefield.

From my surroundings, I observed what would be the best possible method to do so, and noticed a rustic looking staircase leading to the high wall.

“Abel, I’ll ascend the wall. It’ll allow me to observe the range better.”

Trying to walk as fast as I could while I was a child was really tiring. Despite that, I forced my short little legs to keep up the pace and climb the immense blocky stairs. It was like – at any moment, the stairs would collapse from their age. No one would be willing to come out here to maintain them. The amount of stairs appeared to be infinite, as shortly after, I started to pant real hard.

Behind me, Abel smoothly followed, without uttering a breath of complaint. It appeared, he intended to keep an eye on me. After all, why go to the effort – despite it not appearing to be much effort for him, of following me and not leaving?

“Haahh..” I took a huge gulp of the cool air as soon as I reached the top of the high wall. At this altitude, the air was rather thin; it was clean and crisp, and made it somewhat difficult to breathe.

Regaining my breath, I looked down to the battlefield after stabilising myself.

There were many monsters in the battlefield. Some of them were monsters that were several times larger than the size of an adult. I saw some soldiers kill those monsters with a sword, and the others held torches and that lit the monsters on fire, thereby preventing its regeneration. That would explain the burning stench I had smelt before. Then, there was something red flying in the air that caught my eyes.

What the hell is that red color thing flying in the air? I muttered at the sight.

However, the screams and hoarse cries that were asking for help; for a saviour, could be heard from all directions. It was the thing that caught my attention the most. I witnessed an uncountable number of soldiers die in the midst of killing the monsters. The act of the killing spree of monsters that the soldiers were on, was in itself a massacre for them.

Some people were caught by the monsters, and had their arms torn. Some had their legs torn, and others had gaping holes in their stomachs. Many unidentified human’s body parts were scattered on the ground. But the vile fighting continued. It was as if those lives were ants, easily squashed and irrelevant.

Atop, I also witnessed the scene of a soldier who was caught by a giant and smashed to the ground. The details were unclear, but I could guess that the soldier must have been crushed by the monster’s enormous strength.

Suddenly, Abel’s voice rang in my ears. “Kid, how do you feel seeing the battlefield for the first time? It is the worst, is it not?”

No, this battlefield was not the worst. The one who had made this scene, was the worst. It was me.

I am the worst.