"When someone tells you happy belated birthday, they know that it's not your birthday. Belated means like late or like after the fact. Even though your birthday already passed, they still want to wish you a happy birthday. Does that make sense?"

"So, when my cousins or my nana or someone says happy birthday to me, they're trying to be nice."

"Right, because you're birthday isn't today. It was on Monday, but they didn't get the chance to celebrate with you then. When you went skating, that was just something for you to do with your friends from preschool. Today is for you to have fun with your family."

"Okay, I get it."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"I want you to have as much fun as you can because we leave tomorrow. We probably won't be back for a long time. I need to get you back on schedule for school and I have a job. It may not seem like it, but I have to work," I laughed to myself.

"Why?"

"Why do I have to work?" I asked. She nodded yes.

"Umm, to pay bills, to buy food, and to make sure you have everything you need in life."

"And dolls?"

"Yes, and to buy dolls, but I bet you'll get a lot of gifts today. And when you get gifts, what should you say?"

"I will say thank you because I should always be grateful," she responded back to me. I smiled softly at her through the rear view mirror.

"You're so smart."

"No, you're smart!"

"I try, but I'll never be as smart as you," I teased her. She made the cutest sound. I often get a kick out of making her blush. She does this thing where she hides her face in her hands and stays that way until the attention is off of her. I turned my focus fully back to the road and left her alone. We were almost at the indoor jungle gym. Everyone was waiting.

We pulled up right on time, and when we made it inside, the man at the front desk gave us our wristbands, some no-slip traction socks, and my receipt. I already paid for everything when I made the reservation, and I even got a party package that covered like eighteen people. Once we passed the entrance, I was in awe. This place looked even better in person. The whole inside of the building was the playground. It was an obstacle course where you enter on one end and go through all of the different levels, before finishing on the opposite side of the building. This shit was dope.

"Wow mommy," Royce jumped beside me.

"Can I go play?" She tried pulling away from me. I get it, she's excited, but we need to go to the private room first and greet everybody.

"In a few minutes."

After following the guy's directions, I opened the door to the private party room. As soon as we got in, everyone blew confetti at us, shouting happy birthday to Royce. She clung to me in excitement, damn near wrapping her whole body around me. I wiggled around so everyone could see her trying to hide. Royce had the biggest smile on her face. Some of her cousins around her age ran up to us. I gently pushed her in their direction so she could get away from me and go mingle.

"Hey best friend," Briana said hugging me.

"Hey Briana."

Robyn was next. She gave me warm hug. What really surprised me, or rather who, was Ashanti. Me and her weren't the closest, but I acknowledged her as a friend and every now and then, she would call me up and we would talk for a few hours. Sometimes I would call her as well. I know she has a lot on her plate now, so I really appreciate her for coming.

I made my rounds greeting everyone. There were exactly eight kids. It wasn't a lot, but Iris is doing something back at her house, and when we get done here, we're going over there. I talked to Dashawn's cousins—they all had kids around Imani's age and a little bit older. I was glad that they could come as well.

We all went out to the main portion of the playground. Imani was about to burst if I made her wait any longer. Once she put on her socks, I gave her the okay and she ran off with the other kids. I sat down on one of the benches.

"It sucks that Penny couldn't come."

"Yeah I know. She had a family emergency at the last minute," Briana said.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. She didn't say, but she'll call when she can."

"Oh...ok." Damn, I didn't know that something happened with her family. I hope everyone's okay.

"Ashanti, how you been?" I asked her. She looked up from her phone and put it away.

"Just baby daddy issues. He keep calling me from jail, but I don't want to talk to his ass," she rolled her eyes.

"Why not?"

"He don't deserve my time. I be busy. I don't want to sit on the phone listening to him and his dumb ass excuses. Shit pisses me off."

"What he in jail for again? I forgot."

"Girl, theft. That nigga man. Whew," she shook her head. "He's so damn stupid. I should laugh at his dumb ass."

"When does he get out?" I asked.

"Hopefully never," she laughed. "I'm just playing. I don't know for sure. He got a court date coming up. I need my child support so he better be getting released soon, he's been in there long enough."

We were soon interrupted by small cries. We all looked down at the baby in Ashanti's arms. She had two boys—one ran off with Royce and them. The other was only 8 months old. He was adorable. I wasn't sure how Ashanti got pregnant for the second time since her baby daddy been in jail, but that's none of my business.

"Hold him real quick. I left his bag in the room," she said handing me her baby. He was so chunky.

"Oh what's the matter?" I cradled him in my arms trying to calm him down.

"He's so cute," Robyn said.

"I know right."

Ashanti quickly came back with a bottle. I told her that I would feed him and she handed me the bottle. He quickly latched on and started sucking. I got so lost in watching him eat that I didn't realize when they started the conversation back up. I hadn't heard a word they said, but I looked up when someone called my name.

"Yeah?"

"You got baby fever?" Ashanti asked me. I quickly shook my head no.

"Not at all. I don't want anymore kids."

"What? Why not?" I shrugged.

"I never wanted kids to begin with," I stated honestly.

"But now that you know what it's like, you don't want another? You're so good with kids." I thought for a second. I knew deep down that I didn't want anymore kids. Like, I genuinely just did not want another child. I have Imani. I want to devote all of my time to her and her alone. I don't want to have another kid and be overwhelmed, or have Royce feel like I'm abandoning her or putting someone else above her.

"One is more than enough." They all nodded.

"Anyway, what's his name again?" I asked Ashanti.

"Cameron."

I burped Cameron and he fell asleep in my arms. He was too damn cute. I handed him back to his mother and she put him in his car seat.

"Mommy!" I cringed at Imani's loud voice. I didn't want her to wake the baby up.

"Yes," I said turning to her and smiling.

"Come play with me." She tugged on my arm, but I didn't budge.

"Where? Up there?"

"Yes." She tugged me some more.

"Please mommy."

"What happened to your cousins?"

"They're playing, but I came back to get you. I want you to come too." I stood up.

"Are y'all coming?" I asked them.

"I'll come. I want to see what all the hype is about," Briana said.

"I got my baby," Ashanti said.

"I'll watch him," Robyn spoke up.

"You sure?"

"Of course. I love babies. Take y'all time, I'm good." I grabbed Briana and Briana grabbed Ashanti as Royce pulled us along. We met up with the other adults. They were all standing on the outside of the play area.

"This shit is dope. You can tell it's for kids, but adults can have just as much fun," Briana said.

"I know right. I said the same thing," Jasmine, one of Dashawn's cousins agreed with Briana. She was at my baby shower. She's real cool.

"Or we might just be a bit childish," Ashanti shrugged.

"Oh yeah, that too," Briana laughed.

"Come on mommy," Royce looked like she was about to lose her patience. Damn, okay. I'm coming.

"You really want me to go up there?"

"Yes."

"Y'all go ahead. Imma stay out here and take some pictures of y'all."

"Okay, make sure you get my good side Ashanti." She laughed and we climbed up onto the first level.

"Come on. This way!" Royce yelled.

"We coming, we coming." Briana cursed under her breath and I did the same.

"I didn't know Imani was so bossy," she laughed.

"Me either," I said.

Imani knew exactly where to go, and soon enough, we met up with the other kids. They were waving down at their parents. When we got to them, I looked down at Ashanti and she was laughing at us. I knew we were gonna look silly. She took our pictures and we posed for them anyway.

"Tag, you're it." Royce said catching me off guard. Her and the kids took off like a pack of wild animals.

"Tag, you're it," I tapped Briana on the shoulder and took off as well, but in the opposite direction.

"Wait, what!?" Briana yelled. It took her a minute, but she ran after Royce, giving me enough time to get as far away from her as possible. We all probably looked ridiculous, but oh well. I went through each of the obstacles, getting caught in a few of them. I couldn't help but laugh at myself. The immature part of me was having a blast and no one could take this sudden burst of happiness away from me.

I was on my own for a long time, ducking and dodging the limbs of random kids. I felt like I was going in circles until I spotted Royce.

"Royce!" I got her attention. She screamed and tried running from me.

"No mommy!"

"I'm not it. I tagged Bri." She stopped running. I took a moment to catch my breath. I was too old for this shit.

"What y'all doing?" I asked all the kids.

"We were running from you," one of the older ones said. I couldn't remember all of their names, especially since I don't see them often. Shit, I could barely remember their mama's and daddy's names.

"Well, I'm not it. I tagged my friend Briana." Speaking of, we should probably keep moving.

"Okay, so y'all keep doing what y'all doing and Imma go about my business because y'all are too loud and I don't want to get caught," I said crouching around them since I couldn't stand to my full height.

"We want to come!"

"Shhhh. No, there are too many of y'all."

"Mommy, I want to hide with you," Royce grabbed me and I had to refrain from rolling my eyes. The last thing I need is them following me. It would be like me leaving a trail of cookie crumbs.

"Fine, but if we get caught, it's every boy and girl for themselves." We maneuvered through the different levels. I was more agile and faster than them so I moved through each obstacle with ease. Meanwhile, they kept smashing into the equipment, falling over each other, and getting stuck. I debated on whether or not to just leave them.

"Ouch! You stepped on my hand!" Someone yelled.

"No I didn't!"

"Yes, you did!"

"I'm telling my mom and she gone whoop you." I burst out laughing. I couldn't help myself.

"You liar. I'm telling my dad you're being mean to me again."

"Y'all hush," I said clutching my stomach. I immediately stopped laughing when I spotted Briana a few obstacles away. What the fuck. I took off before she spotted me. The kids called after me, but I was gone. I said it's every girl and boy for themselves.

"Asha!" I heard Briana's voice. I was trying so hard not to run over these white kids. I knew Briana was not too far behind. I made a left turn and saw a few slides. I had not a clue where they led to, but it was better than running around in circles. I went down one of them hoping that it would lead me out of this maze. When I got to the bottom, I noticed that I was back on the ground level. Thinking that I was in the clear, I jogged back over to where Robyn was. Way sooner than I anticipated, Briana came up from behind me. I shrieked when she wrestled me to the ground.

"I tap out," I couldn't stop laughing.

"I'm done. I can't breathe."

"You're it," she said.

"No. I'm done."

"Yo cheating ass. You can't do that."

"I can't play anymore, my back hurts."

"Bitch, you started it."

"No, them kids started it. They knew what they was doing. Tryna lure us out to chase their asses. I'm spent Briana. Look, the white people are staring at us."

She looked around, and sure enough, there were people staring. She slid off of me and I sat up. I probably looked a mess now, and I was sweating like crazy.

"It seems like y'all had fun," Robyn said looking down at us on the floor. I pulled myself onto the bench, straightening my clothes. Briana did the same.

"How was it?"

"I didn't even get to explore the upper levels. I was too busy trying to get away from Briana. And, my back was starting to hurt from hunching over so much. Other than that, it was fun. Too much fun actually." This was probably the most fun I've ever had in my life, which was sad.

Ashanti soon came back and showed us the pictures she took. Hopefully the kids wouldn't notice that we made it out. I needed a break. After I caught my breath, I went to the restroom and washed my hands. When I came back out, Royce was looking for me.

"Mommy," she stomped over to me. "Where did you go?"

"Tryna get away from y'all." I faked like I was about to run off again. She threw herself at me and wrapped her arms around my hips.

"Can we go play?" I made a pout, but nodded my head yes. I would do anything for her, even if that meant sacrificing my peace.

We ended up going to the ball pit, completely skipping the playground. After that, I took her over to the rock-climbing wall where I watched her get strapped in. She tried her best to climb the wall, but she didn't get far. It was just me and Royce for a long time, and we had a blast jumping on the trampolines and everything.

After awhile, we met back up in the party room. We wished Royce a happy birthday and ate some pizza. I booked the room for three hours, and we only had like thirty minutes left. I wanted Royce to spend that time opening gifts.

On our way to Iris's house, Royce started talking about how much fun she had. She said one thing that actually caught me off guard.

"Mommy, I like when you smile," she said it almost as if it was just a passing thought in her mind.

"What do you mean? I always smile."

"No," she shook her head repeatedly. "No you don't," she whispered almost inaudibly.

I cocked my head to the side. I was confused. I didn't even know how to respond to that. Did I not smile often? When I'm not around her, of course not, but when I'm with Royce, I try my hardest to not bring my struggles to her. I always smile when I'm with her, so I'm confused on what she meant by that. I said nothing for the rest of the ride.

.....