《I'm Fine》Part 2: Chapter 26
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"How far out are you?" Robyn asked.
"90 minutes," I said.
"How are you doing?"
"I'm good. I'm not really looking forward to visiting...and I feel terrible for saying that, but-"
"No, I understand. We all understand and your feelings are valid."
"Eww, you sound like my therapist."
"You still go to therapy?" She questioned.
"No, I stopped a while back."
"Oh." She sounded disappointed.
"Did you stop going for good or is it temporary?"
"I don't know," I laughed nervously.
"Mommy, I have to pee!" Royce yelled from the back seat.
"I gotta go but I'll talk to you."
"Ok, drive safe Asha."
"Yep."
We hung up and I looked for an exit that had a gas station or some restaurants.
.....
We soon arrived at Robyn's place since she insisted that we could stay with her. I didn't mind, but I knew how I feel about people in my space, so I didn't want to be a burden.
Robyn was in the driveway before I even pulled up. When I put the car in park, she practically dragged me out of it and engulfed me in a tight hug. I squeezed her back just as tight. She then ran around to open Royce's door. I heard a bunch of small giggles, which made me smile. I grabbed our bags and walked around to see them still talking.
"I'll help you," Robyn said taking some of the bags.
I told Royce to unbuckle herself and she did as she was told. Robyn helped her out of the car and closed the door after her.
"Are you sure we can stay here?"
"Girl please, you're family. Don't be ridiculous. You're not staying in no hotel."
Robyn showed us to our room. She had two spare rooms and asked me beforehand if we wanted both, but I said one was fine. Royce always sleeps with me anyway. After getting settled, Royce and I went downstairs to see Robyn taking food out of the oven. Since we got on the road right after Royce finished school today, we haven't had dinner yet.
We all ate and I gave Royce a bath before tucking her into bed and heading down the hall to talk to Robyn.
"You wanna hit?"
"Yea," I nodded. We passed a blunt back and forth.
"Mama Iris know I'm here?" I broke the silence.
"No, a surprise is better. We can go by there tomorrow. You leave on Sunday right?"
"Yea, Sunday afternoon."
Robyn frowned, "Why so short? That's only two days babe."
"I just enrolled Royce into preschool and I don't want her to miss any days." I blew out a cloud of smoke feeling relaxed.
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"My baby Imani started preschool!?"
"Yep," I laughed. "And she hated the first two days, but especially the first.
"How did it go? What was it like for her?"
"Her teacher said she barely talked the first two days. She completed all her little assignments though. She showed me the drawings that she colored. It was cute, but I felt bad leaving her there; you should've saw her face. I've never seen her act like that. Usually she's such a calm little thing, but she threw a fit if I've ever seen one. If you ask her about it, she blames mommy."
"She's okay now, right?"
"I think so. Today was the last day of her first week. I'm proud of her," I stated. Robyn looked at me with a goofy grin on her face.
"You're a good mother."
"I'm decent. I try my best," I shrugged.
"Give yourself more credit." I shrugged again.
"Enough about me, how are you?"
"Same old shit except I met this guy," she smiled.
"Ohhh spill."
Robyn opened her mouth to say something when I jumped from my seat at hearing Royce's cries.
"I'll be back," I said handing her the blunt.
I met Royce as she slowly made her way down the hall with her blanket.
"What's wrong," I bent down to her level.
"I want you to lay with me," she mumbled.
"I'm just down the hall. I'll lay with you after I'm done talking to Robyn." She reached for me and I picked her up. She laid her head on my shoulder and I made my way back to Robyn.
"Can we finish our conversation tomorrow? I'm sorry, I really wanna hear about your new man."
"Yea sure, no worries. Goodnight boo."
"Goodnight."
.....
By the time I got up the next morning, Robyn and Imani were already up and dressed for the day. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, fluffed out my coils to make my afro as symmetrical as possible, and got dressed in this colorful-print maxi dress that I got from this cute boutique. I paired it with brown sandals and made my way to the living room.
"You look sexy and giving very much grown." I smoothed my hands down the sides, following the curve of my hips and smiled. I definitely appreciate my body now. It has always been hard for me to accept myself growing up, but even more so since I had Royce. Everything just became so full-my boobs grew two cup sizes, my hips even wider. Don't get me started on my butt, and the stretch marks that I have accumulated all over both my ass and my stomach. I'm not toned by any means, but I'm learning to love all of it.
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"You know people pay thousands of dollars to get a body like that," Robyn continued.
"That's a stretch," I snorted.
"I'm serious. I love the rare occasions when you decide to wear a dress. They suit you."
"You've told me that once before."
"And I will keep telling you." I rolled my eyes.
"What did I miss?"
"Everything," Robyn laughed.
"Why didn't you wake me?"
"You looked so peaceful, and since you had a long day yesterday, I wanted to help and get Imani dressed. We also had breakfast."
"My fault. I didn't realize how tired I was. What time is it?"
"It is past noon."
"Damn, I can't remember the last time I slept in."
"If you hadn't moved so far, people could actually help you."
It's not anyone's job to help me."
"But, you don't have to do it alone, is all I'm saying. Imani needs-"
"Oh, don't start," I frowned.
"I'm in a good mood, let's not do this now. I'm already going to get my head chewed off by Iris. One person is more than enough."
"I know but-" I shook my head no and she stopped mid sentence.
"Where is Imani?
"In the den playing with some toys I got her." I nodded and walked off. I strolled around the couch and to the next room where Imani was on the floor playing with a few black dolls.
"Mommy, look what auntie Robyn got me!"
"I see. Do you like them?"
"Yes. They are like the dolls at home," she said hugging them.
"You can never have too many dolls," I smiled and she laughed making my heart swell.
"Are you ready to go?"
"Yes. Can I bring them?"
"Not all of them. Maybe just one." She nodded.
Today we are spending the day with Robyn. She has a few places she would like to take us, and then we are going to go visit Mama Iris.
"Where are you taking us?"
"It's a surprise." I looked over at Robyn and she gave me a quick glance. I shook my head at her antics. Even though I've lived in Georgia all my life, I don't necessarily know Georgia like that. If you ask me where anything is, I don't know. You need directions, I don't know. Ask me which highway to take, I don't know. I haven't experienced anything here. I bet many tourist specifically visit Atlanta for its various attractions, but I don't even think people born and raised here even care about that shit.
About thirty minutes later, we pulled up at the aquarium.
"I'm going to go find parking and I'll meet you both in that long ass line," Robyn said pulling over to the side. I jumped out and grabbed my bag. I then got Royce out and took her by the hand. I stuffed her doll into her bag and she put it on her back. I shut the door and waved Robyn on.
"Mommy, what are we doing?"
"Baby you're gonna like this a lot. We are at the aquarium. Auntie Robyn thought you would like it since you've never been."
"Aquarium?" She tried to pronounce it, but she didn't quite say it right. So, I sounded it out for her.
"You know dolphins, seals, turtles, jellyfish, penguins-"
"Penguins!!" She shouted.
"We get to see penguins?!"
"I think so baby."
She jumped in place and swung our hands. I loved when she got so excited. It was cute and refreshing. I pulled her into one of the lines as she continued to gyrate next to me. She looked at me and giggled, "Penguins, turtles, and seals are my favorite mommy." I just smiled at her.
Fifteen minutes passed and we only moved up a few feet. I spotted Robyn making her way to us.
"This part sucks," I frowned.
"So does the parking," she rolled her eyes and we both laughed.
We eventually got our tickets and went inside. I observed Royce carefully, taking in her full reaction. I wanted to remember everything about this day-from her facial expressions and what she was wearing, to the order of the exhibits. Not to mention, I got my disposable camera ready. I would have used my phone, but the disposable camera is cute and I can't wait to take Royce to get the pictures developed.
"Mommy, mommy look!" I snapped another picture of her. I was starting to get emotional. I had to fan my face to keep the tears from falling. I needed to save them for later. Today was all about Royce, not me and my tears.
"Are you okay?" I looked to Robyn and nodded even though she could see right through me.
We went to all the exhibits and Royce never lost her smile the whole way through. I didn't too much care for seeing animals in such small places, but Royce ate it up. By the time we left, it was almost five. We got something to eat and Royce fell asleep minutes after starting the car.
Then we were off to our next destination.
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