I took a sip of the dark liquor, it's contents burning the back of my throat. I started on breakfast, taking sips throughout. Yes, it was too early to be drinking, but fuck it. A few sips won't change the course of my day. It was almost 8:30, so I went upstairs. I opened the door to my room and smiled. Royce was sprawled out in the middle of the bed. She was so small that I could barely see her, but the indents on the bed gave her away. I walked to the side of the bed and bent down to move her hair out of her face.

"Royce, it's time to get up." I shook her a bit and her eyes glazed over before opening. She immediately had a frown on her face and I cringed. The last thing I need is for her to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. But then when she saw me, a smile lit her small face.

"You ready to get up?"

"Yes mommy." She practically rolled out of the bed and went into the bathroom. She emptied her bladder first, then I watched her brush her teeth. She let me help her a little but got mad when I tried to completely take over.

Royce will be five soon and I'm not ready. She is growing up so fast. I just wish he was here to see it.

"Mommy I want to pick out my outfit," she said.

"Okay, go ahead."

I made up the bed and straightened up the room since I was already dressed. I waited for her to pick something. When she walked out of the closet, I eyed the clothes.

"Fine, mommy?"

"Yeah that's fine. Come on we have to leave soon and you need to eat."

After getting ready and doing her hair, we went downstairs to eat breakfast. Royce is such a clean eater, but she eats so slow it's ridiculous. By the time I finished my food, she was only on her third bite. Instead of pestering her, I decided to clean. I washed the dishes, cleaned off the stove, and she still wasn't done. I didn't even give her a lot.

"Royce we need to leave soon, like in five minutes. Are you done?" She looked down at her food and then back up at me.

"Do you want to take it with you?" She nodded.

"Okay, come on let's go." I locked up the house and we left.

"Today is your first day of preschool. Are you ready?" I looked at her through the rear view mirror. She just shrugged.

"I don't know what that means."

"I don't want to go," she mumbled.

"Why not? You can make friends and meet new teachers."

"I want you to teach me."

"I know but, it's time for a change. It won't hurt to try. Plus you might like it. Mommy can't be your only friend for the rest of your life."

Royce is so so smart and beautiful, but she just doesn't like people, if that makes sense. Like, she tolerates them, but if it's not me or her family, she doesn't care to be around anyone. I feel like she will grow out of it if I push her in the right direction, but this can't be healthy for her growth and development. Kids need to socialize.

I feel like it's just shyness, but when she's around me, she is so bubbly, loud, and confident.

We pulled up at the small preschool a few miles down the road. I helped Royce out of the car and she immediately clung to my leg. I would be lying if I said it wasn't the cutest shit, but right now I needed to be stern. I pried her hands off of my leg and just grabbed one of hers instead. We walked to the building hand in hand.

"Good morning," a woman greeted us.

"Good morning," I shook her hand. I met her before when I scouting places to take Royce. She gave me a tour of the place and I loved the set up and the teachers.

"Who is this?" She asked. I nudged my daughter to speak up.

"What is your name sweet girl?"

"Royce," she whispered.

"Her name is actually Imani. Royce is her middle name and that's what I usually call her, but she answers to both."

"Hi Imani, it's nice to finally meet you. We have a full class today. Are you ready to go?"

Royce shook her head no repeatedly. I bent down to her level. "Let's just go and see what it's like," I told her.

We followed the lady to a classroom and she left. When we went in, all the kids looked to Royce, but she only looked at me. One of the two teachers introduced Royce and put her bag and lunchbox in a cubby that had her name on it. I stood off to the side and watched my baby for a while. I tried to sneak off a couple of times, but she kept watching me. I just knew that the minute I actually left, she would lose her shit. When the class got busy with a project and Royce adverted her gaze for a few seconds, I bolted. She immediately started screaming. Before I could even get out of the door, she was on my leg.

I held my hand up to one of the teachers when she tried to grab Royce. That will only make things worse.

"Mommy!"

"Imani, you need to stop. This is not the end of the world."

"I want to go with you," she screeched. I picked her up and followed the teacher out of the room. Imani clung to my neck, her tears and snot soaking my shirt.

"Hey, listen to me." She only cried harder.

I mouthed an 'I'm sorry' to the teacher. "It happens all the time. You'd be surprised. She's just comfortable with her mommy, that's all. It's completely normal and mostly healthy," she replied back.

"Really?"

"You just have to leave and hopefully she will calm down. If she doesn't, then it might be a problem. But once she realizes that this is a safe place, I'm sure she will be fine."

"Imani, I'm going to go okay. I need to get to work. I will pick you up later and we will get some ice cream. You will be fine and you will have a great day," I pulled back from her. "I love you." I kissed her wet cheek and the teacher took her from my arms. Imani threw a fit. I went to take her back when the teacher shook her head no.

"I got her," the teacher said. It took everything in me not to just say fuck it and leave with my daughter, but she needed this. I quickly turned and left. I got to my car and wiped the few tears that ran down my face. She will be fine. She's just being dramatic.

I am hosting an open house today and I need to get to the location and prepare before potential buyers arrive.

Thirty minutes later I arrived at the spot. I hopped out of the car and fixed my grey knee-length pencil skirt. I made sure my peach blouse was neatly tucked into my skirt, and I switched my slides out for a pair of nude pumps. Since my blouse was long-sleeved, I didn't need to wear a blazer.

I looked good and I wasn't afraid to show off my curves.

.....

"You did good today," my broker aka my boss said.

"Thanks, I was a little nervous. Could you tell?"

"Nope, you were perfect," he teased. I rolled my eyes. I used to think Daniel was phony until I got to know him. I soon realized that that was just his personality. He is actually such a cool person and I see why he's been happily married for twenty-two years now. Him and his wife got married when they were only 18. After they got married, they had three sons back to back to back. Now they run a real estate business together.

"I gotta go pick up my daughter. Today was her first day of preschool."

"How did that go?" He asked.

"Not the best. She was pretty upset."

"That's because you got her spoiled rotten," he laughed.

"I know, I know."

"I'm just joking. She'll get used to it," he said.

"I hope so." We said our goodbyes and I left. I drove out of the expensive gated subdivision and made my way to Royce. It was exactly 4:00 when I arrived. Her preschool starts at 9:00 and ends at 4:00, which is good for me.

I walked to her classroom to see many parents picking up their kids. I spotted Imani off to the side with her book bag on her back and her lunchbox in hand. One of her classmates was trying to talk to her, but I could see she wasn't really up for it. One of the teachers from this morning waved me over. I snuck over to her without Royce seeing me.

"How was she?"

"It took awhile, but she calmed down. She mostly stayed to herself, but she responded when we asked her questions."

"Is that okay?" I asked.

"We will see how the rest of this week goes. Other than that, she ate her lunch, took a nap, and completed a few projects. She didn't want to work with any of her peers, but she let me watch while she colored."

I nodded.

"She will be happy to see you." The teacher called her name and once Royce laid eyes on me, she jumped in her spot and ran over to me.

"Hi, mommy," she slowed to a walk and hugged my legs.

"Hey," I smiled.

"Bye Imani, I'll see you tomorrow," the teacher said. Imani waved goodbye but didn't say anything. I grabbed her hand and we left. When we got to the car, I helped her into her car seat.

"Did you have a good day?"

"Yes," she smiled.

"I told you I was going to come back."

"I missed you," she replied back.

"I missed you too. Are you ready for some ice cream?"

"Yes," she giggled. I want her to be proud of taking a big step today, so I want to treat her with some ice cream. Maybe tonight, I will talk to her about the way she acted today. I also want to know what all she did today, and I want to see those drawings her teacher talked about.

"I want strawberry ice cream. No, vanilla or cookies and creme."

"That sounds good, pretty girl. You can have whatever you want." I do spoil Royce a lot, but I have to. I'm all she has and I want her to have everything her little heart desires-everything that I didn't have and more.

"Do you want to go visit auntie Robyn and your nana Iris this weekend?"

"Yes, mommy."

Robyn has been begging me to come visit, especially since I moved three hours up the road away from everyone. I wanted to leave Georgia altogether, but I didn't want to take Royce away from her people. Robyn comes to visit when she can, but it's a lot of back and forth. I have to take the initiative and go see them since I'm the one that left in the first place.

"Good, they'll be happy to see you," I replied back.