《Wasted Times☯︎︎.》10 "losing her sanity."
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︎𝐾𝑦'𝑙𝑎𝑛 𝑀𝑎𝑘𝑎𝑖 𝐵𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠 ⚠︎︎
"𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚐𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚢𝚎𝚊 𝚒'𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚊𝚠𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚜, 𝚊𝚒𝚗'𝚝 𝚐𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚊 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒ng 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚝, 𝚒'𝚖 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚠𝚐 𝚊𝚒𝚗'𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎, 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚣𝚣."
-𝕄𝔸ℝℂℍ 𝟚𝟟-
Kai felt sad that she had to go through any of this. He saw how dull and gloom she was for days on end. It had been almost a week since she had kilt the man and she was still acting like a little cry babey bitch.
He went into her room and looked at her. She was staring at a wall, mind blank. He went and layed with her holding her, putting her head in his chest picking her up and laying with her.
He felt that spark that he wanted to deny so bad. He knew she was different...he just didn't know WHAT. He knew he liked her more than just a friend...shit what did he wanna be cousins? He honestly didn't know, but one thing he did know was he liked having her here.
He suddenly got up with Yuan still in his arms and turned on the shower. "Either yu get ina showa or ima put yuh in dere." He shrugged "Yuh stink not even trynna be mean yu ain't neva smelt like det befo. Da fuck yu thought taday wassa day to do dum foul shit like det." Mumbling the last part he saw she didn't move. So he started taking her clothes off.
Not once looking at her body while it was unclothed. He still has respect for her and her privacy. When he placed her in the shower again for her privacy he got in with her but with all his clothes on. He got in the corner. Because the shower was just that big.
He saw her just washing up but she looked like she was static, a robot stuck in her mind. She looked like she was trying to be normal but failed horribly.
She washed up 3 times but on the fourth she dropped her loofah, dropped to her knees, hid her head in her legs and screamed. She cried shaking vigorously.
He ran almost slipping on the tile to get to her.
Slipping behind her he held on to her while she screamed and cried.
"LEAVE ME ALONE." "STOPPPPP."
"I'm I-I-I- I'm so sorry....so sorry." "I didn't mean to." She whispered.
"NO. NO. NO. NOOOO." shaking her head she pounded her fist into her thighs.
Kai grabbed her turning her body into his he picked her up cradling her into him rubbing her back. He knew then she wasn't meant for the hard life, maybe books or something. But killing he knew she would only be able to do that when she had to. And he hated that HE forced her to do it.
Forgetting about the real world for a second they let the water run over them just sitting in silence, the only thing that could be heard was the water running and her sobs.
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Yuan sat at the table trying to eat the food that was placed in front of her.
"You really can't fucking cook for real." She made pushing the food away. Going to go get fruit to eat she cut it up. Eating it she saw Kai looking at her.
"Bitch I was just trynna be nice....depressed bitch." He tilted his head mad as fuck.
"You fucking up Pablo you fucking up." Pointing her fork at him. She continued to eat her fruit.
"IM NOT EVEN LIGHTSKIN FOHREAL." mugged her he fixed the cap that was on his head.
"IM noT Even LIghT SkIn FoREeal." She copied him throwing her hands in the air. "Shut the fuck up shitty boy ass boy."
"Nobodey told yu to sit inna bathroom wimmie when I was taking ah shit." He shrugged.
"Oh." Nodding her head she started washing the dishes he forgot to.
"With that small as nose and that big ass head just disproportioned." He mugged her.
"With that skinny ass body and that big ass head looking like a stick figure." She shot back.
"Just big and ugly." Bucking at her.
"Shaking in my boots." She fake jumped. "How you skinny with a little weewee I thought they said skinny niggahs that smoke a lot got bi-no HUGE weewees." Shaking her head bae pointing her finger in the air "👆🏾" A MYTHHHHHH.
"DONT." Throwing a pan at her "play wimmie."
"Never did you ever- fucking big as head-that's why your ears be suffocating your head. Shit be leaning to the side don't know if it wanna go to the left or the right titter totter headass. Needa fix yo teeth....giving me very much I chewed on rocks my whole fucking life."
"......."
"........"
"You don-"
"Stoopid ass with all them fucking tattoos you wanna be Blueface so fuming bad ass kisser. Suck my ass bitch. Dumb ass bitch. Can't even grow a full fucking beard patchy ass shit. Dummy you can't even read for real. Squid-ward looking ass bitch bitchy bitch bitch."
"......"
"..."
"Iigh-"
"DUMMY STOOOOPPID" she mugged him wiping off the counter.
He thought it was funny how she always went off like a ticking time bomb. She had no typa filter and that's something he loved about her. She wasn't easy and she wasn't nice. She had a few screws lose, but still tried to keep a smile on her face went to work and never really let her self go, let her cry or let her feel any other emotion other than money making.
'Robot ass gurl.' He thought walking upstairs to his room because he didn't know if she wanted to be bothered. If she did she knew where to find him.
When she was done with cleaning the kitchen because that's usually how she got rid of her anxiety she went into the living room and turned on music to start drawing.
This is where she could get lost in her thoughts she could express herself though her drawings because she ain't know no other way she wasn't normal and she was okay with it most of the time but other times she felt weird. She wanted to be normal and express herself.
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It's like....
The more she tries the less she feels.
Even before the accident she was far away from reality. And she hated that. She would zone out for hours on end and don't know what the fuck is going on around her.
Yuan started thinking about how she went off on Ky'lan and got frustrated, she hated how she had no filter, with people she actually kinda liked. She hated how she wouldn't trust people that in her heart she knew she probably could. She hated that she wanted to be loved but didn't know how to love back or accept it. No matter how much we looked at it she was damaged goods. Broken, before she could even be loved.
Looking down at her drawing she smiled. This was her passion this is what she loved to do this was her peace before anything else.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️drawing.
Closing her sketch book she started making her way upstairs
Making it to her room she noticed that Kai wasn't there, see that's what she hated depending on people why should he be there he wasn't her niggah,barley even her friend, not her family. Barley somebody that she could trust, she told her self reminding herself nobody gives a fuck about her except her and that will be okay.
After she did her night hygiene she turned on her T.V. and tried to go to sleep.
Whenever she closed her eyes she saw that man blood frothing out of his mouth.
"Nasty ass shit."she mumbled.
"I see why niggahs pop percs and sip lean....mind be TRIPPIN mannn." She shook her head and sat up in her bed.
She felt like she had lost her sanity, she was trying to be fun and laugh about it. She didn't want to admit it but she was going crazy for real. Her heart rate was always on 10. She felt like life was moving in slow motion, like everything was fake. She was already suffering but now it's like her body was screaming out for help. She wasn't just depressed or going crazy because she killed somebody. But that was her breaking point. That's the point to where he mind body and soul had had enough.
Usually her mind and body were Stevie Wonder to the bullshit, to the mental problems. And to shit like that in general.
"You fucking up Stevie." He mumbled now laying on her back looking at the ceiling.
Getting up and grabbing her favorite cover and her water bottle "welp it's too late I'm dependent # attached..... what Queen said. WE STUCK LIKE GLUE BABYYY." She chuckled going into his room without knocking.
"Wow what if he was beating his Peter wacker." Slapping her hand over her mouth.
"Hoe me Godddd. Now why would I say some shot like thatt." She walked over to his bed. Shaking her head because she knew he wasn't going to have a blanket over him which is why she brought her she basically jumped on him locking her ups up and around his shoulders hiding her head into his long ass neck and her legs on either side of him.
As soon as she opened the door he knew she was in his room because she didn't know how to be quiet at all.
Putting his hands where they always were cupping her ass he kissed her forehead squeezing her back.
"What's wrong cry baybeh bitch." He said in a raspy voice that made her feel weird.
"Can't sleep...weird dreams. I no likey it." Yuan whined whispering on his neck, sending chills down his spine.
"Yuh mean the ones whea yu see the first person yu kill, yea errbody have them. Unless your psychotic." Continuing to rub her booty he started falling back asleep.
"Oh...okay did you have them." Yu questioned looking up at him.
"👀."
"🤨?."
"😗."
"So you didn't."
"...."
"Unt." She said getting up. "See this that shit over here with a smooooveeee murdeeeeerrrr." Walking out the room. Once she made it there she noticed she left her cover.
"How the fuck yu gone leave but make a joke bout it." He straight faced her.
"How you gone call yourself psychotic and expect me to be like thumbs up cool dude."
"WELLL." he shrugged his shoulders.
"Mmcht."
"Cmere Yuan." He opened his armed.
"NoLord." She backed up.
"Ohmyfuckengod." He got up going to get her and laying down with her.
She tried to break out of his hold but it really wasn't no point. He was strong as hell and just buff for no reason. So she just stopped trying.
She relaxed into his grip trying to stop herself from trusting him.
She knew this was going to be a problem. She knew HE was going to be a problem. Saying she had trust issues was an understatement she was scared of anything that had to do with commitment. She didn't want to get let down. She didn't want to be broken. She didn't want to have friends that constantly let her down. She didn't want to be dependent to anybody. Or clingy. She didn't want to be a burden. Or a let down, she was constantly scared she wouldn't be enough for anybody she came across or that they wouldn't be enough she had high hopes for her life. And couldn't let negative energy get between it.
She could say she felt something towards him but just like him she didn't know what, she did know that she gets attached easy, so she was trying to keep her distance. But not only does she know he won't be letting that happen, in the end it might be them against the world....or them against each other.
***********************
COMMENT&&VOTEE
A/N: AWWWW y'all likey me🙂😗. I got over 200 votes😭. And this book only got 10 chapters hardbody yea dets me. So because of that I'm gonna do either a double or a trippin update, I don't know yet because I'm in Texas and I have to go home tomorrow and yea.
Thank you again for over 200 votes. Get them comments up dereeeee
-Yours truly TheMenace🐾🦥.
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