ᴛʜɪʀᴅ ᴘᴏᴠ

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯

♛♛♛

Julius was conflicted.

He's never been conflicted before, decisions were always made right and precise.

The realm of telling his new girlfriend about who he is was a conflicted decision.

He wasn't going to tell her now. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, or maybe even next year.

That was the problem. The longer he waited the more she'd hate him. But he wasn't ready, not when he finally just got her.

"I'm excited," She said excitedly, her hands giddily brushing through her hair again.

Julius turned to face the girl who had abruptly taken possession of his body and mind.

"You don't even know what it is yet," He stated flatly, his gaze focusing on the road ahead of him.

"I don't, but I know it's going to be great." She said with much optimism.

Julius slipped his palm into her lap, the quick jolts of desire to have her touch on him being the only thoughts in his mind.

The drive down to the forbidden field was quiet, though only because Hazel was too busy distracted by the view than to talk.

Only when she mentioned that driving in the night gave her serotonin. It gave her a sense of nostalgia she said. It reminded her of her childhood. Sitting in the back seats, driving long distances to reach their destination and when they'd come back, it would be night, and she'd be falling in and out of sleep in the back seat.

Hearing this part of her life gave Julius a sense that her childhood was normal. Apart from having an abnormal childhood, one full of abuse and guns and knives, it was a weird thing hearing about her normal youth.

As Julius parked onto the dirt, the familiar river noticeable in the star's light, Hazel gasps and suddenly tightens her hold on his hand.

"Juls," She says in awe.

He cuts the engine, exiting the car with the breeze behind his back. Her door opens, Julius holding it out for her. Her eyes were wide with surprise, she said nothing as Julius lead her through the forest again.

The lights hung around the trees kept their feet on the track, even though Julius knew it off by heart.

As they made it to the secured tall, black gates, they opened easily for Julius and Hazel.

Under a weeping willow tree, three blankets were set on the trimmed grass with flowers, a picnic basket was placed in the middle, and the stars remained clearly visible overhead.

Julius could see the delight in her eyes and the leap in her steps; it was as if he'd given her exactly what she wanted, making her utterly content and blissful.

"You're the best, Juls," She exclaims, turning to hug him heartily. Julius smirked at that.

Her heavy breaths of enjoyment faded as she pulled away, pulling him behind her as she nearly dashed to the picnic.

Hazel landed down on the heavy blankets and draped a spare blanket over her legs. She was giddy as she waited for him, staring him in the eyes.

"That's the fifth time," He said, referring to her comment. She giggled and scoots over a bit as he rests his larger body next to hers.

His back rested against the tree, his legs lazily sprawled out and his gaze lowered at her.

"What's in there?" She asks, taking her gaze to the basket her hands practically begged to grasp.

"Why don't you find out?" He tilts his head, running his hand up and down his thigh.

Hazel moves the basket between their bodies and lifts the lid, beaming with a trace of eagerness.

Inside, she found some of her favourite snacks, as well as the chocolate he'd bought for her.

She spreads everything down on the blanket and smiles as she picks up the four contained muffin packets and begins to open them.

"Chocolate chip or blueberry?" She holds either in each hand, his eyes never leaving hers as he spoke his answer.

"Blueberry."

She gives it to him unwrapped and neatly placed on a purple napkin. Julius took it into his palm, his attention elsewhere on her unwrapping her chocolate muffin.

"This is truly a dream," She says, leaning her back against his side, biting into the cupcake and gazing up at the stars.

His lips tip, the almost smile breaking any suppressed emotions.

"Glad you like it," He says, breaking some of his own muffins in half.

She shakes her head and takes her eyes away from the dark sky, her wide eyes returning to his.

"Love it."

As if caught in a trance he continued to stare at her, while Hazel merely looks away and continues eating staring up at the flickering bolts of light.

"They're so beautiful, aren't they Juls?"

Julius hums, looking at her with everything he contained. Even if he didn't show it, truly he felt it. Every single ripple of her affection or her voice and words had that serious effect on him, where the feeling part of his body dug itself up from the grave.

Because in reality, Julius didn't feel. He was learnt and taught that way growing up and that was what he was used to, day in and out.

Maybe it didn't make him human, maybe he didn't care, but once he met Hazel Alexis, he deeply knew that a change was to come. For better or for worse.

"Let's talk, Juls." She begins to turn, her lips red from the cherry's she's been sucking on and her eyes glittering under the moon.

"Talk." He says tilting his head down at her. She giggled at his sarcastic answer and took his empty palms in her own.

"No like talk, talk,"

Inhaling a breath, he managed to focus his mind to reach for the pack of cigarettes in his pocket. But he didn't want to let go of her hands.

"About?" He raised a brow, his fingers suddenly looping through hers. She pouts her lips, pulling them to one side as she thought with her eyes down.

"How about you." She forms a little smile with her lips. The small confinement of her fingertips brushing over his knuckles and the blush coating the tips of her cheeks rendered that she was apprehensive.

"What's your question?" He replied, knowing her well enough that her small mind was going to ask about one of his scars, hopefully, one that wasn't related deeply to his mafia.

Amusement is shown in her eyes now. His assumption caught her off guard.

"How did you know, Juls?" She removed one hand from him, reaching to grab the packet of raspberries.

Hazel loved them.

"Because I know you."

She narrows her eyes playfully as she pops berries into her mouth. "Well, I want to know you better than I do already. So, my question is..."

Trailing off, her eyes dart to his raising eyebrows, specifically the one with the unforgettable slit aligned across it.

"That scar right there," She lifts her finger and raises it across her own brow, midair as she traces the invisible line across her forehead.

"His story?"

Now Julius definitely needed that cigarette.

Easily slipping his hand into his pocket, he took out his pack and tipped out a single bud. Hazel watched curiously as he lit it up in one go, exhaling the fog that entered his lungs.

Even though her touch was enough to calm him, it also brought him alive. Instantly electrifying him.

And the cigarette between his lips was apparent enough to ease that down.

"I was ten," He began his story, head tilted at the sky as he inhaled and exhaled, enthrallingly.

"—my Uncle had a few of his business friends over and decided to show them where he had me locked up."

Upon this, she gasped. A heartbreaking sound as her grip on him tightened and all food was lost from her mind and hold.

"Locked up? How long had he kept you in there?"

As his eyes lowered slowly, they met her watered ones. The concern and instant terror in her eyes for him surprised him every time. Someone being afraid or sympathetic or just caring for him was never, ever going to be a getting used to the type of thing.

"Years, Angel." He whispered, tilting his head to the other side to exhale away from her.

"That day, he and his business friends performed all sorts of abuse for the fun of it. One of them happened to be more sadistic than the rest,"

He glanced down at her, his half-burned cigarette dangling from his lips, waiting to be killed. Hazel riveted her focus on him, her torn-filled eyes, which grew more delicate by the minute, catching him off guard.

"His name was Rio Rialto. He had preferably made it his mission to sustain my pain over and over again."

Inhaling again, Julius exhaled as he spoke.

"Until the end of the day, when they were done with their drinking, Rio took a sharp knife bathed in alcohol and sliced it right across here,"

She winced physically as he traced the scar with her finger, possibly imaging his youthful self being tortured until near death.

"His words were slurred, but he said, 'You will never be the man I am now,' as he cut me."

"Oh, Juls," She murmured with pity. A lone tear struck down her cheek and trickled down perfectly.

"But, angel," He continued as he wiped the tears with his thumb, the cigarette hanging still from his lips near to finish.

"—that day I swore after he marked his place, I swore to never become what he was."

He stopped everything now. The cigarette now squashed beneath the grass, the tear forgotten, and the stars now hidden beneath the clouds.

"And what was that?" She whispered under her breath.

Emotionlessly, Julius looked at her with all that he's gained.

"A man with no power."

Solemnly, Hazel stared at him. All words are forgotten and now all she could do was cuddle up beneath his chest and warmingly embrace the Julius she knew.

"You are very powerful and intimidating, though." She peaks up at him, her words both equally amusing and yet near to the truth. "But," She continued, turning ever so slightly to cup his cheek with her palm.

"You're not like that in my eyes. You're genuinely my hero, Julius. And you're different, just like I am. And guess what," She declares, now smiling at the world.

"What?" He replies blankly, even though his eyes are shining.

"All the best people are."

With that, she leans up and places a soft kiss against his.

Julius gripped her closely as she tenderly kissed him, her parted velvety lips merging with his, and the taste of raspberries remaining on her tongue completely melted his bodily function.

They both backed away before things could get heated. As the moonlight hit one side of her face, Hazel's cheeks turned pink, and her hazel eyes misted with something unknown.

"You're beautiful." The words poured out like word vomit, but still, he said it within a state of tranquillity.

Under the dark, he assumed she turned red as she ducked her head down shyly with a smile. "Thank you, Juls. You are too."

A breath of amusement fell from his lips, being called 'beautiful' wasn't something he heard from others face to face. Ever.

Hazel catches his amusement and a look of retaliation ran across her features.

"It's true," She presses on, a frown etching her face. Julius almost started to chuckle as he assumed she thought he was insecure of such.

"I'll show you," She reaches her hand to his cheek again, brushing her delicate fingertips against his cool skin. Her touch sent shocks throughout his body like it did every other time.

Those fingertips ran up to the platform of his scar, the delicate graze moving over it once, and then her eyes locked with his. "Here," She babbles, then races to the next. She runs her finger along the contour of his cheekbone, sensing her touch deepen.

"And then here," She adds, her thumb resting on his bottom lip as she watches her own movements.

And then her eyes catch him again. They clash, their gazes holding each other.

"Your eyes are my favourite." She tilts her head as she holds the cold with her warmth. The wavering swirls of silver glowing right underneath the light, but also the warm, gold and green mixing in her own, hypnotised by all.

Julius draws her onto his lap, and she lets out a small gasp as her legs swing around his torso and her head tilts to face his.

He sinks his hand beneath her red locks, licking his lips, while his other hand grabs her hip, rotating his palm in circular patterns.

"I'll tell you something Hazel," He speaks deeply, his gaze fixed on her with a restraint she or he had never seen before. Her words seemed to have caused his walls to crumble even further, getting closer to the breaking point.

As he drew closer, her breath caught in her throat, and his lips dipped to her neck, laying a kiss from one place and tracing a perfect line up until they reached the point of her jaw.

"I'm falling for you," His hair tickled her skin as he brushed his lips past her cheek, and the cool air of his made the goosebumps on her flesh soar to their peak as his lips met her ear.

"—fucking hard." He whispered into her ear. The strain in his voice indicated both difficulty and comfort.

He backs up just enough to meet her gaze once more, their lips millimetres apart. He could see the fulfilment in her irises, how they held every emotion, and how her lips parted in disbelief. Her expression conveyed both bewilderment and awe.

"Me too," She breathed out, looking down at his chest. Slowly smiling. "But we're together now, which means we can fall as hard as we like."

He chuckles into her neck, head resting on her shoulder. "That's right, Angel."

Her fingers glided into his hair with ease, combing through the thick tresses, instantly soothing him. His body became more relaxed as she moved her hand through his hair.

Slowly, his body, as well as hers, began to relax. Even though Hazel remained conscious, staring up at the sky, while the man in front of her fell silently.

Julius' body was at ease, and his mind was lucid. Her touch eased him and made him feel secure. His eyes were closed and he was close to falling asleep, but his mind was awake. It had to be, knowing the dangers that may strike at any time. For her.

But for now, Julius remained at her hold. Soundless.

♛♛♛

The gym was silent. Employees in offices, visitors away. That was because whenever Julius went to use the gym he owned, they made sure all the others were away.

As he slipped inside, the 'closed' sign on the front of the glass remained. He wore a towel over his shoulder, held a water bottle in one hand, and ran his fingers over his hair with the other.

Hazel was currently sleeping soundly in her bedroom, it was three in the morning which was the current time he'd like to go to the gym.

After the date, he'd taken her home. Hazel had been tired, she fell asleep in the car and remained asleep as he placed her into bed. From then on, he did work, got dressed, and went to the gym.

Blowing off steam one way or another was one thing, but blowing off the crawling emotions prickling at your skin for beyond hours was another.

Today he started with the boxing bags. Wrapping his fists in protection and strength, his shirt was now off and his hair was pushed back but still lazily flopping down.

Placing his legs and arms in his stance, he began moving his arms.

One fist connected with the boxing bag, biceps straining and his cool skin started to heat.

Julius grew warmer with each strike, his strength grew stronger and stronger, and his force was flawless to the point of nearly destroying the boxing bag.

His mind was elsewhere. Blank and cold. Back to how it used to be.

He resided off of this. He lived off of the pain in his arms, the icy sweats on his pecks, and the rush of his hits absorbing through his blood vessels.

His emotionless demeanour and shadowed eyes that masked everything increased as the darkness surged through him. Julius felt his walls begin to repair anew, the flaws fading into stone as they re-closed.

His fists were firmer and slower as his body regained control. The numb feeling is tainted by the itching thoughts behind his eyes. Thoughts that remained of her.

With another motion, the sound of his ringing phone stalled his next hit. The strain in his muscles tightened as he tightened his jaw. Throwing off his gloves, he conveniently swooped his phone up from the floor.

Without looking at the ID, he answered with silence.

And like a light switch, those bottled emotions rose like the dead.

His eyes flickered slightly and his body heaved with relaxation, all tension released. At that moment, Julius realised that what he needed wasn't release but just her.

"You didn't, Angel. You alright?"

She hummed unresponsively.

Upon hearing that, Julius frowned ever so slightly. His workout became long forgotten and now his sole purpose became only her.

"I'm not home. I'll be there in five." Julius said this already halfway through the gym.

She hums, her soft voice becoming his alliteration.

She asks, confused now.

Julius made it into his car, the sound of it roaring alive. The phone connected to the car, her voice now in the speakers.

"The gym," He responds.

She asks again, a bit of a slur to her voice now.

"What's wrong?" He asked momentarily, where she just giggles lightly and responds after.

Julius ran through another red light, the curve of his long street just an inch away.

"How did you get locked out?"

He wanted to keep her talking, just to make sure she was okay. But when silence came, and it stayed, he sped like a maniac.

"Hazel?" He said calmly, his speeding not matching the tranquillity he expressed.

As the black gates reopened, he drove right through and parked just outside of the mansion.

He ended the call, taking his phone as he strode to the front of the house.

Julius keyed in his hand, which unlocked the doors and he made a straight line for the bedroom upstairs.

He noticed that her door was closed still, the house hadn't looked like someone broke in, so he assumed the door had been locked already before she entered.

When he entered her bedroom, her bed was visually unmade and the dip of where her body had been was evident. He walked to the door that lead to the bathroom, the door locked as it was. But as he tried to unlock it, it wouldn't budge.

He rolled his eyes at this. Knocking on the door twice, he called for her again.

"Hazel," He says, his voice low and deep but loud enough for her ears to reach.

"Mhm," Julius heard her reply muffled slightly, a tired hum.