;When you're weary & the road is dark & I'll guide you with the beating of my heart ♫

This can't be happening.

This isn't happening.

I refuse to believe it.

And all it took was three words to crack us all.

Break us down and wear us thin.

Emotions were high and none of us could handle the rapidly risen bar.

We was not handling this well.

Especially Maddox.

As silent as the room was at the time, there was no denying you heard multiple shattering hearts echo.

This isn't happening.

Those three words didn't leave his mouth and pierce our ears.

Please.

"I have cancer."

The words kept playing in my mind like an taunting turn table.

I couldn't stop hearing them.

The break in his voice. The hurt in his heart. The sickness in his veins. The sadness in his body.

It was like a living nightmare and we were all in it.

Like a sick joke played on us by the devil.

Only this wasn't a joke, and the devil wasn't here.

Sobs, cries and deafening heartache filled the room. No one could do anything. No one could keep their emotions in check, and no one could say anything that would of helped the situation.

It was useless to even attempt it.

We could lose someone who has a permanent spot in our hearts, here or not.

And Cammy, he was here. With us.

But for how long?

Maddox stalked out the room, his heart unable to bare the pain, but I couldn't bring it in me to chase after him. Cammy needed us. He needed to know we were here no matter what and that however bad or good this gets, he'll always have us.

I didn't want him to feel alone, I was an extension of his best friend, so if he wanted to sulk it out alone, I'd be the other half that stayed by Cammy's side - for him, for Cammy, for me.

I held on to him so tightly, I could of easily broke his neck. I kept him close and warm. The steady pace of his heartbeat pumping against me, the soft hum of his breathing filling my ears and giving my mind a break from the repeating words that killed apart of me.

Cameron Hills.

You are a solider.

You have your army.

And we're behind you.

Cammy gently pulled me away, his arms staying in contact with my arms but my eyes didn't hold enough confidence to look up at him without breaking.

I faulted and gazed up into his golden flecked eyes. Tears lining his bottom lashes.

"I'll be right back." I tell him before pushing myself up onto my tip toes and placing a kiss on his cheek.

It didn't take me long to figure out where Maddox was - if he wasn't in the bedroom, he was on the roof.

The guy had a weird thing about roofs.

It's like the higher he was, the less things looked bad.

I guess he had a point. Looking down on the world made everything seem small, insignificant.

Only this wasn't small, and it certainly wasn't insignificant.

"Maddox?"

His back is towards me and he's leaning against the glass and metal railing. Elbows perched on the guard rail, head buried in his hands.

So lost. So sad.

What do you say to someone who's thinking the worst?

Whose hearts breaking?

Whose mind is taking him to new heights?

He's scared. He doesn't want to lose his best friend. His brother. His family.

I small step towards him and wrap my arms around his waist, plant my head on his back and inhale him.

No words are close to being good enough, but at least he knew I was here.

A shudder could be felt under my cheek, it was faint, and soft, but it was there.

I tightening my grip around his torso and held him closer. My own tears threatening to spill.

Please.

This can't be happening.

This isn't happening.

But it is.

Before I knew what was happening, Maddox slid down to his knees, forehead planted against my stomach and the tears pouring out soaked my t shirt.

"I can't lose him, Tori. I can't." he sobbed. "He can't die on me, we haven't finished our story yet."

Holy fuck.

That was it. The flood gates opened and I couldn't stop them. I kept them silent, I kept my chest steady. My hands in Maddox's hair, stroking his scalp as I tilted my head heavenward, looking to the sky for come extra strength.

My eyes tightly closed as I held my boyfriends shuddering body as his heart continuously shattered.

"We're going to get through this, baby." I whispered through a silent cry. "We just need a little faith."

I held him tighter, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him into my stomach.

"This isn't the end of you and Cammy." I murmured. "There's still so much to come. Still so much to experience, and this illness isn't going to take him from you, from us. He's ours and I'll be damned if I let this break him."

Maddox lifts his head up, chin resting in the middle of my ribs. Tears rolling down his cheeks, the brown in his eyes sparkling from the pools he had pent up. "He's ours." he repeats. "And we're not going to let this break him."

I slowly nod my head. "That's it, baby." I whisper, bringing my lips to his damp forehead. "We need to be strong for him, now more than ever."

Maddox closes his eyes and lets out a soft sigh. "I don't know if I can, Bella. I don't know if I can be what he needs."

Keeping my lips against his forehead, I mumble into his skin. "Just while you're with him, then come to me, break in front of me, be weak and broken with me. But, Cammy -- he needs to see you like a fortress."

Maddox tilts his head so his forehead is back in between my ribcage, and he stays like this for a few moments.

Gathering his power. Gaining his strength. Holding back future tears. And steadying his breathing. All before rising to his feet, engulfing my head into his chest and squeezing me.

"I fucking love you, Tori Quinn." he breathes out over my head. "I fucking love you, and we've got this. We're not losing him. Now, or ever."

I shake my head against his chest. "Not now, or ever." I echo in agreement.

Just please come to me, baby.

Come to me when it all becomes too much.

Please.

I lead Maddox back into the apartment, his fingers tightly holding onto mine, almost like a lifeline.

His eyes lock onto Cammy, and Cammy's lock on to Maddox.

I pull him forward by the hand and nudge him towards his best friend.

Wasting no time he darts into Cammy's open arms.

Brothers holding onto each other in a dark time.

A love like no other. A bond so special. A family I want to take care of.

My tears roll at the sight.

I love them, and I was going to do anything and everything I could, to do whatever they needed.

A shoulder to cry on. An ear to whisper weak thoughts into. A pair of arms to hold them. A heart to listen too. A soul to bare when things were too hard. A pair of eyes to look into and tell them this was going to be okay.

Jason, Eli, Miles, Steph and Hannah were huddle over the kitchen counter - knocking back shot after shot. More mini glasses sat empty in front of them.

I shuffled my way over and nudged myself in with them.

Eli looked at me with pitiful eyes and poured me a shot.

With no hesitation, I knocked it back, for Jason to pour me another one, Vodka this time.

Knocking that back too.

Eli filled seven shot glasses of the dark gold liquid and whistled Cammy and Maddox over.

I grabbed the remote for the stereo and turned it on.

Low and behold a song we all fucking needed to hear, singing words we all wanted to say.

Starley - Call on me.

Everyone grabbing their shot glass and held them up.

"Family. Fools in love. Friends in need. A bond for life. Family." Eli booms out, his eyes glued on Cammy, as are the rest of ours.

"Family!" We all cheered out, necking the shots in sync.

"Family." Cammy says, smiling softly.

"Family." I smile at him.

He wraps his arm over my shoulder and pulls me into his side, leaning his face into my cheek. "There's no place I'd rather be than here with my family. Thank you for doing this."

"There's no place I'd rather be than here with my family, too. You being a part of that." I repeat his words, rising my hand and using the pad of my thumb to wipe a stray tear from under his right eye. "Have faith."

"Faith." he echoes.

Faith.

Faith.

Faith.

I understand this maybe a trigger for some people and if you're one of those people - I'm incredibly sorry. For your loss, your heartache, your hard times and heartbreak - please feel free to reach out.

I also hope I done the situation justice. It's not an easy topic but these are real life events that people struggle with in everyday life.

There's people out there that can help.

People who have those ears for you to whisper into.

Mine included.

Loves, Char x