;I was afraid of losing you so I chose to run away

"It's my mom."

I snap my eyes to her so fast I could put a claim in for whiplash.

Dropping back on my bed, her dark hair fanning out against my grey bedspread, bronze legs hanging off, barely reaching the floor.

I fall beside her. Both our gazes are focused on the plain white ceiling.

"You know I don't know why we're here?" She says, face turning to look at me, I do the same. "Neither of them will tell us the reason they picked us up and left everything we knew behind." she turns her head back to the ceiling.

Brows furrow as she looses herself in thought.

"I'm assuming you've asked?"

She snorts. "Of course I've asked, and every time I get the same answer - 'we want to build an empire, New York was a means to an end.' What kind of bullshit excuse is that! They picked up our entire life, shoved it in a couple of U haul trucks and yeeted us over the state line."

"Why do you think they're lying? Maybe New York was a means to an end for them." I suggested, trying anything to get her to open up.

Bella faces me again, she looks like she wants to cry.

Please Lord, don't let my baby cry.

"New York was our home, Maddox. We were happy there, then all of a sudden the house was filled with awkward tension . My mom and dad could barely look each other - or us - in the eye. Me and Eli came home from class and they'd already started packing, sat us down and told us we were moving, they already pulled transfers, so we couldn't stay. We had a week then we were outta there. Our home wasn't gonna be our home anymore, we'd no longer attended NYU, my captain title was meaningless, and when we asked, they didn't tell us shit, took them over a month to give us anything."

Fuck. I didn't know much about why they moved, but this was obviously a situation that weighed heavily on Tori's mind.

You could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice, and feel it from the vibes she's giving off.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I respond.

Reaching my hand out and placing it idly on the back of hers, my thumb giving the soft skin of her fingers mindless strokes.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. It's not your problem to deal with." she says, shrugging against the comforter.

I know it's not my problem to deal with, but for her I'd take on the weight of the world.

There was something strong between us and I couldn't deal with the thought of letting it slip between my fingers, it sent a strange sinking feeling down in the pit of my stomach.

As selfish as it sounds, I'm glad her parents moved her here, if they didn't she wouldn't be laid on my bed like the bratty angel she is.

"I'd like to say I'm sorry for locking you in my room, but I can't bring myself too. You look too damn good on my bed." I say, hoping it breaks any tension that's laying around us.

Her soft giggle made the attempt worth it, shoving my shoulder playfully, she shuffles into a sitting position.

"You're legit a walking hormone, seriously."

I pop my shoulders nonchalantly before pushing myself up and resting my forearms on my knees. "I feel like I can be myself around you."

And it's true, I do.

She makes all the pressure and heavy weight on my shoulder feel easier to carry.

Like I can take a fucking moment to breathe, not worry about the upcoming game, not overdo myself at the gym and eases the feeling of not being good enough. She does that to me, and it's not everyday you come by someone who makes you feel light on your feet, like you're doing everything right.

No questions asked.

"You don't with everyone else? Not family or friends?" She asks, side eyeing me in my peripheral.

I pop another shoulder, pulling my lips tight. "It's different with them than it is you. With you I'm content, I don't feel heavy and everything that's bad in my life, seems, stupid? Y'know?" I blow out a puff of air. "I don't know, it's just, you make me feel good, about myself, about my choices, my life."

And I'm a fucking idiot.

Laying my shit bare like a pussy whipped dickhead that's getting zero pussy.

It takes Tori a few beats to say anything, and to be honest I'm so fucking embarrassed I haven't even looked her way.

She's either going to reject me flat out or she's going to crumble at my honesty and make out with me.

"I watched you before." She admits, voice soft as silk. I glace up to see her already staring at me, hazel eyes boring into my face. "When we helped Eli move. I watched you, and.."

"And?" I encourage her to continue, eyes wide and hopeful.

She sighs, tugging her bottom lip, disappearing beneath her gleaming white teeth. "When no one was around you, or when the guys weren't paying attention, your smile would falter. Fade away like your mind was in a constant battle and you didn't want anyone to notice, so you plastered a smile on and no one was none the wiser."

Shit.

"But you were."

"That's why I'm telling you this now." she edged further up the bed, bending one knee and tucking it under her thigh, leaving her other foot to dangle.

I mimic her posture, copying her sitting position and flicker my eyes over her face. Soaking in ever feature, every colour her face wears, every movement she does, all of it. Greedily taking it.

I swallow the lump in my throat, running a hand through the back of my hair.

Shit, this was harder to spit out that I thought it was going to be.

Clearing my throat as a stalling technique before speaking up, taking her hand in mine, the soft padding of her fingertips resting on my palm, I fiddle with the ring on her index finger. "Break your rule for me."

A hitch in her breath doesn't go unnoticed. I can see the throbbing pulse in her neck beating ten to the dozen as she slides her hand out of mine.

"I can't do that, Maddox. I'm sorry." Her tone scarily similar to mine.

✫✬✫

"You asked her to break her rule and she said no?" Cammy asked in disbelief. "Shit, man that's cold." he finished, tossing the ball from the baseline and watching it drop through the ropes connected to the hoop.

So last night was a complete shit show.

First Tori sees me with Sarah, gets the wrong end of the fucking stick; I get jealous and go all caveman on her ass, locking her in my room, then the heart to heart came, now I'm a fucking idiot who asked the girl of my dreams to break her god damn rule, only to be rejected.

After she said no, I let her leave.

I couldn't keep her close without begging her like a guy on Skid Row would for money or food. That wasn't me, as much as I wanted too, and as much as I felt I should - she'd never change her mind for someone like me, and maybe that was a good thing?

Maybe she sees what everyone else does and hopped on the first fucking train outta there, dodging a bullet and staying sane.

And In order for me to stay sane, in order for me to continue this season without any distractions, I have to stay away from Tori Quinn.

Grabbing the ball as it bounced across the shiny, smooth court, I aimed, lining the shot up perfectly. "It is what it is. Not point stressing over it, I asked her, she said no. Time to move on." I shoot, missing the goddamn basket.

The burn in my throat at those words shouldn't be fucking normal.

"Move on?" Cammy sounds unconvinced, raising a dark brow up at me. "As in go back to being the baller bunny's favourite toy?"

Gagggggg!

Watching Cammy grab the ball and hurl it towards the basket, pure precision and ease.

"I guess? I don't know, can we not fucking talk about it? I don't give a fuck anymore, about Tori or her goddamn rule!" I snapped.

I didn't mean it but I knew it was the only way to get Cammy to drop the fucking situation or drive me to the point where I kidnap the girl and lock her in my room, again, and indefinitely this time.

"Wow." The familiar female voice drawled out.

Snapping my neck towards the gym doors, I see Tori standing there.

Dark curls pulled back into a high pony, make up barely there but beautiful nonetheless, dark ripped jeans showing parts of her tanned legs and a black off the shoulder top - showing just enough neck one side that I could bury my face in, inhale her scent like a junkie and bite the soft skin like a greedy pup on their mothers tit.

"Bella." I sighed.

I knew I fucked up, massively.

And she didn't wanna hear it.

Not now, not today, not ever.

Shaking her head in utter disappointment that it hurt, and holding her hands up, palms out, she turned on the heel of her black boots and exited through the doors.

"Go get her!" Cammy yelled, pointing towards the door with his whole hand, and wearing a are-you-stupid expression on his face.

I must be because I remained still.

My feet firmly planted on the polished court. Unable to bring myself to chase after her.

"Maddox, man!" Cammy yells again.

I shake my head and turn away from where Tori was standing a mere few seconds ago. Snatching the ball from Cammy's hands and tossing the ball into the hoop, only it doesn't go in. It rolls around the rim and hits the court floor with a echoing thud.

I think my heart just did the same.

Cammy muttered something under his breath, not caring enough to ask him to repeat it, but surely enough it's about how much of a fucking dumbass I am.

Maybe I am, but in my mind.. I did it for her.

We'd only end up hurting each other in the long run anyway, she didn't deserve that.

She deserved better than what my fucked up self could ever offer.