《Somebody To Love (#4)》CHAPTER 5: Abortion
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I pressed my palm against my belly as my eyes teared up.
No. I won't cry.
I have made my decision.
I sat back straight in the chair, waiting for my turn to meet the doctor.
My financial and mental condition isn't good enough to raise this child.
Instead of bringing this child into this world and letting it suffer due to poverty or my inability of being a good mother, it's better to...abort it.
Plus the father of the child doesn't give a fuck about it either.
'I don't care. Do as you wish.' His words echoed in my mind making my heart shatter over and over again.
It feels the history is repeating itself.
Did I really expect him to be happy about this? No.
But at least, he could have tried...
No.
Don't think about him.
I don't give a fuck about him or the...child. I am aborting it and that's final.
But...
Is it okay to kill an innocent who didn't even get the chance to open its eyes?
I am a murderer.
A tear escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheek and I wiped it away with the back of my palm.
You can do this.
No. I can't. I can't kill my own child. So what if its father doesn't want it.
You can do this.
Thankfully the corridor was empty so no one could see the tears falling from my eyes.
I got up from the chair. I can do this.
It's wrong.
It's my decision! I can do the fuck I want with this child.
I heard some footsteps running down the corridor behind me and when I turned around, I saw Gareth running towards me. His hair was all messy, the tie was hanging loose around his neck, the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows. He looked like a mess.
Seeing me, he slowed down and stopped at a distance, breathing heavily and intensely staring at me.
Then he quickly covered the distance between us and grabbed my shoulders. "Tell me you didn't abort it." His eyes desperately searched mine for answer.
The door to the doctor's cabin opened and she stepped out. "Ms Collins, you are next."
A look of relief crossed his face on realising I didn't abort it yet. But why?
I turned to the doctor to give a reply and her eyes fell on Gareth, widening slightly in surprise.
"Harper." He slowly turned my head towards him. "Please don't abort it."
His eyes seemed to be pleading me.
"I have already made my decision", I stated.
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"I am sorry. I am really sorry. I shouldn't have said all that. Just please don't abort it." He begged.
"I am sorry, Mr Wilbrose but..." The doctor interrupted us. "But you can't force her to keep this child. It's her choice."
Gareth's jaw clenched. "Can you please let us talk in private for a few minutes?"
She nodded and stepped back inside her cabin leaving us alone.
I took a step back from him. "You only told me to do as I wish. And I am doing what I feel is right."
He extended his hand to grab mine but I took another step back. "You will not touch me."
He retreated back his hand. "Fine. But just let me explain. Please."
I folded my arms across my chest giving him a chance to explain himself as he said.
"I am truly sorry for whatever I said to you back in my office this morning. I regret it. When you left I realised that I want this. I want this child. I am ready to be its father, ready to take its every responsibility. I don't wanna lose it." He pleaded.
"But I don't want it anymore." I lied.
I want this child more than anything in this world.
He ran his hand down his face trying to think of something. "Please, Harper. I'll do anything for it, just don't abort it. Please! I am sorry."
The door to the doctor's cabin opened and she came out again looking annoyed and asked sharply. "Ms Collins, have you decided or not? Do you want to abort it?"
I looked at Gareth who seemed to be dreading my answer and then at the doctor.
I looked down at my belly. I am getting a chance to bring this child into this world. And if lose this opportunity, the guilt will eat me up.
Giving one last look at my belly, I looked up at the doctor firmly. "No."
Gareth sighed deeply in relief and his shoulders relaxed. "Thank God", he mumbled.
I hope I am not making a mistake.
The doctor didn't look pleased with my answer. "Okay."
She turned to leave when Gareth stopped her. "Excuse me?"
She faced Gareth. "Yes?"
"Ms..." He said looking down at the name badge on her shirt. "Kara."
He took a step towards her and all of a sudden, he looked intimidating. "I hope this won't get out to the media. Or I have other ways to ensure that."
She sure was intimidated by him as she stuttered. "Y-yes, Mr Wilbrose."
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He smiled. "Thank you."
The doctor was quick to run back inside her cabin and he turned to me and his features softened.
"Let's go", he said making an attempt to keep his hand on my lower back but he didn't when I glared at him and he remembered my words about not touching me.
He walked beside me keeping a distance between us.
"I am sorry, Harper", he whispered softly as we walked out of the hospital.
"How many times are you going to say that?" I snapped.
"You didn't say you forgave me."
"And I am not going to."
He lowered his eyes. "I understand. Can I drop you home, please?"
I rolled my eyes and sat inside his car parked in front of the hospital and he closed the door for me before sitting in the driver's seat.
He revved the engine and drove away.
A few minutes later he stopped the car at the red light and I was staring out of the window lost in my thoughts but I could feel his gaze on me.
"Harper?", he said softly.
I turned to him. "What?"
"You really don't want this child?"
I looked out of the window again. "No." I lied yet again.
In response he just sighed sadly and started the car again as the lights turned green.
But instead of taking the road to the right which would have lead to my apartment, he went straight.
"That's not the way to my apartment!"
"That's the way to my house."
"Why are you taking me to your house?!"
His eyes were focused on the road. "Cause that's where you will live from today."
"No! Take me back to my apartment! I won't live with you."
He didn't reply, instead increased the speed of the car.
"Why do you want me to live with you?!"
"Because I don't trust you enough to let you live on your own. You will live under my care, in my house." He said sharply.
I angrily folded my arms. "That doesn't make sense!"
"You are carrying my baby, Harper. I won't let you harm it."
My jaw dropped. "You think I am going to harm my own child?"
He spoke after a moment. "Yes." Then he paused. "Maybe."
"I hate you!"
"Hmm...good. Thanks." He said focusing back on driving.
Aargh!
I don't wanna live with him.
I would never hurt my own child but it seems my lies made him suspect me.
There is no one but me to blame in this.
"Did you...tell Aeryn?" I asked.
He glanced at me. "And get myself killed? No."
I rolled my eyes at his answer but felt grateful that he didn't tell her anything.
"Anyone else who knows?" I asked again.
"Brother does."
"And how did he...um...react?"
"He slapped me is how he reacted."
My mouth parted in surprise. "Slapping was not necessary."
"He didn't slap me for getting you pregnant but telling you that I don't care."
"Then it was definitely necessary."
He didn't say or give any reaction and silently drove.
A question was troubling me. "Did you apologise to me just because he slapped you? And told you to apologise to me?"
He turned to me and I realised we have reached his house as he stopped the car. "I apologised to you because I realised what I said was wrong. And now I want this child. I am ready to be its father. It's not because brother told me to do so. I am doing this wholeheartedly. Keep that in mind."
He looked me in the eyes for a few more seconds before getting out of the car.
I was still sitting inside, pondering over his words when he opened my door. "Come."
I slowly got out of the car and took a moment to admire the gorgeous house in front of me. Simple but stunning.
He lead the way inside the gates and to the marble path leading up to the house.
"Welcome to the GW Mansion", he said with a proud smile as we stepped inside the house.
"GW?" I asked in confusion.
His smile dropped and he rolled his eyes. "GW. Gareth Wilbrose. Duh."
"Oh", I muttered looking at the impressive interior of the house.
As we moved further a woman in her mid-forties stepped out from the kitchen and looked at me baffled.
"This is Diana, my housekeeper and she is actually like a second mother to me", he introduced her to me with a smile.
"And Diana, this is Harper." He pointed to me.
Diana had a poker face on as she scrutinised me from head to toe making me feel weird.
"And she is your what?" She asked Gareth raising her brow.
He looked nervous as he glanced between me and her. "She...um...she's my..."
"Girlfriend?" Diana questioned.
He opened and closed his mouth not knowing what to say, trying his best to think.
Then he smiled widely and stood closer to me, putting his arms around my shoulder. That's what it seemed like but in actual his arm didn't touch my shoulder, he made sure they were hanging in the air.
"Yes, of course. Diana, meet my girlfriend, Harper!"
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