Emily

I'm kind of scared to look into these pages, what if I'm going to find some I love and that person is killed by...him? What am I even doing? This is Mateo's book; he probably forgot it here or something and I'm not supposed to read it...I close the book but open it again on a random page...interesting...the information that I found in here has mostly answered my question I needed to know. He used this book also as a diary that means that he writes thing in here most people don't know; one of those things are his break-up with Kath. He described everything he felt and how he was going handle thing. The text in is Italian, and lucky enough, I learned that languages as my extra class because I already could speak French.

Kath slept with my cousin; the same one who I trusted with my life and thought was on my side. Guess what? That wasn't the case. After my first mission with dad, I came home and the second I entered the living room, putting my things like guns away, I knew something was wrong, very wrong. Kath wasn't on her usual spot at the couch, watching one of those Kardashian episodes that always end with a big ass fight and eating ice-cream. No, that wasn't the case either. Instead, I heard noises, noises I hoped I didn't heard but did. Even when I knew what was happening, I still pulled my gun up and stalked over to our room, the same room I made love to her over and over. She was moaning and screaming, things that were meant for my ears only. I waited a few minutes at the door, hoping she was watching porn or something but even a guy like me didn't always get lucky. I still remember when I open the door aggressive and stormed in, aiming my gun at her but it soon felt to the ground when I saw him...My cousin. the anger that boiled in me was something I never felt before. If I didn't knew Enzo, then he would be dead before he even got the chance to cum; yes, so angry was I. Kath jumped off of him and rushed over to me, begging for my forgiveness. She said things that it was a mistake, that he pulled her into this but I knew better; one look at Enzo and I knew this shit had been going on for a while. They had an affair behind my back. I was so stupid not to notice that. Kath always went to Hawaii now and then, especially when I had work to do, but not only she was gone then, also Enzo. I had a thought they slept together but could never prove it, so I ignore the idea; what can I say? I was in love...

Wow...that was intense. Mateo told me stuff about that night but never this version. I turn to the next page that describes the next day, the day he went to New York.

I arrived an hour ago in my new penthouse; buying this place was always my dream and now I thought: why not? It's beautiful and big; on top of that, it's in a high-end-secured area in town, which means no motherfucker dares to attack me. I have a lot of enemies, mostly guys that hate my dad and because I'm the oldest, they hate me as well. In Italy they're scared of us, mostly because we rule the place but I can't help but to feel scared sometimes. I may acted like I don't give a shit but that isn't true; I'm always scared, scared of my dad. He wants me to be perfect so I can take over his role as Don but I don't want that. I mean, it's cool that I have Italy but I want New York, yes, and now that everything is fucked up, I can start here; build my own Empire. That's my dream when I was younger. Enzo can have it if he wants, he can have everything I own there, even that fucked up bitch. Ignoring her is hard, I still love her but she's going to ruin me if I give her a chance. Right now I have a broken heart, and I need to take advantage of that. I don't feel things anymore. Now if I think of my family I don't feel the need to protect them, I need to protect myself. Olivia, Sebastian and Celeb are trying to reach me, calling me 24/7 but I ignore it, hell, I even throw me phone against the wall before I write everything in here. Dad tries to get me back and give Kath another chance, so does my mom...I really want to, but I won't give her my heart again. If she wants it, she needs to fight for it.

That's sad; I feel his pain. Even when I hate the thought of them together, I wished she done something because now she regrets not fighting for him; I can see that in her eyes. She wants him but Mateo doesn't want her anymore. Every time he looks at her, a disgusted expression coats his face like he can't stand her or whatever. The next text is written in English.

Sebastian and Celeb just arrived in my penthouse. They told me what happened when I was gone. It's been 2 months since I left Italy, 2 month that I could have work my plan out. Seb and Celeb offered to help me and I couldn't say no. They both hate Italy as well; we all have a life most guys our age are jealous off but we want a normal life...but normal in my dictionary isn't the same as other people have; for me it means building something out of my own hands, something my dad didn't' gave to me and here, in Queens, I can get that. This place is ruled by the Russian Mafia; I've been investigating they're working and find a lot of their weaknesses. They look tough and all but deep down they're weaker. The Boss's son is ruling this place and he's not doing a good job. Even I, a 20 year old who doesn't have a lot of experience, can see he sucks. That's why there're here. Over the month I convinced a lot of men to help me in this plan; I just need to get a lot of guns and next week, I will kill his son.

Oh, shit...he really did kill that man...sometimes I forget I'm married to a murderer as well; a man who kills other but he does that to protect himself and the people he love. He indeed always acted he doesn't give a shit about his family but he would go through fire for Olivia, Celeb, Liam and even Sebastian. The next page is one that is written not so long ago; I can see it because he talks about...me...

Emily Magetta, now Emily El Ricci, is a dangerous woman; even when I know everything about her I can't help but be surprised every time she does or say something. One moment she's the shy kind of girl who always cries but the next moment she can be bad bitch, someone you don't want to get in a fight with. That type of women comes to live every time I'm around her. Right now we're married for almost 2 month and I see her grow. She's bolder and proud of whom she is and that turns me on. Emily isn't my type, nothing that I go for at all. When I'm around her, I want to hold her tight in my arm just so I know she's safe. I'm protective of her without even knowing it. Our sex life in improving; not that it was bad at our wedding night. It's just that she's not scared of her body anymore and that's hot as fuck. I want to try so many things with her but our time won't last long; I feel it. Using her was on my top list but I can't help but to feel connected to her. She makes me greedy, eager and mad all at the same time; it's frustrating! The most frustrating part of all this is, she makes me feel thing I hoped I never felt again and that is-

"-Yes, she's in her room" a voice says, startling me. The book falls to the ground and I bend down, feeling my stomach making a double flip again. I can't throw up now! Reaching for the book, I place it like I found it and turn the light off. Not many second later the door opens, two men stepping inside and I need to puck, and that's what I do. Running to the bathroom, Mateo is behind me, doing the same thing he did earlier.

"Mrs. El Ricci" a man behind us says and I turn, the vomit luckily stopping. "I'm Doctor MCall, your husband told me you didn't felt good" I nod, standing up and Mate gives me a glass of water. I refuse it but the doctor insists I need to hydrate a little. "Lie on the bed while I check you, Mrs. El Ricci"

"Come..." Mateo whispers and leads me to the bed, pulling me in his arms and lies me on his side of the bed.

"So...how long have you been feeling like this?" he takes out a stethoscope.

"This morning...but I think it just from the alcohol I drank yesterday; I'm not use to drink much" he nods.

"You're heartbeat is a little fast but that can be the stress" he looks at Mateo now... "How do you feel after what happen yesterday?" I stare in the distance, rethink my answer.

"I feel bad..." he nods. "I feel like it's my fault because that man is behind and he kills everyone I know...I don't knew the guards personally but I would make them breakfast or something in the morning, sometimes I would even bring them coffee" I smile but tears break free. "Sorry" I wipe them away quickly.

"No need for that, it's normal what you feel right now" I nod. "You need to relax" he says suddenly.

"What?"

"You heard me, you're in shock and you need to rest, but I want to take some blood so-"

"-No!" I yell. "I don't want that, I'm just a little hangover from yesterday but everything will be fine" he looks at Mateo nods back.

"You heard the lady, no blood..." he looks at me now. "I made food you, come eat it" and he walks over to the door, leaving the room.

"Mrs. El Ricci" the doctor gives me a paper. "I know you're a psychologist but even they need to talk about their problems so if you need to talk, call me" and he leaves as well and I'm all alone...again...