I stared at the white decorated wall in front of me, anxious for when Jungkook will come in. I have to admit, I was nervous. I was nervous for what he wanted to say. I sighed as I looked down at my wrists. I wonder if there was a reason for it to not work... It's not like I have any purpose, anymore.

"You have a visitor." The nurse slid the door open he walked into the room. In that moment, the anxiousness and nervousness just disappeared.

"Good morning." Jungkook slightly smiled, but the smile didn't seem reach his eyes. He stroked his fingers through his hair as he pulled up a chair next to my hospital bed, sitting down.

Nobody spoke. We stared at each other, but what we both saw was the sadness that was in our eyes. Probably for different reasons. I was... scared.

It had seemed like hours, but it was minutes later until Jungkook spoke up. "Do you want to talk about it?"

It's not like I have a choice, do I?

"Kind of have to," I murmured as I have him a small smile. Jungkook hesitantly embraced my hand into his as he nodded, knowing that I was right.

"Why?" was the simple, one-worded question he had. It was the one word that questions everything.

"More specifically, who made you do this to yourself?" He whispered, his eyes darting to my wrists.

"Myself," I mumbled loud enough for him to hear it. He tilted his head to the side as he tried to comprehend what I was saying.

"I shot my best friend for God's sake, Jungkook. Yeah, you taught me how to use a gun, but I never thought I'd have to use it on my best friend!" I raised my arms up in exasperation.

"She betrayed you, morever, she hurt you! She almost killed you and you were in a coma. Do you know how it took a toll on us when we learned that you were in one? Right, you don't because you were in the coma!" Jungkook gripped his hands on the arm rests.

"N-no, Jungkook. She wasn't supposed to shoot me. I took the bullet for you," I reminded him.

"I would take that bullet for you over and over again," I muttered, looking down.

"I wanted to feel something, Jungkook. I couldn't feel anything after all that happened. I couldn't feel happiness, sadness, pain or even anger. I just wanted to feel something. I just wanted to make everything go away. I had nobody here, they're all gone."

Jungkook seemed saddened, but he also seemed angry. He pulled his hands away from my grasp. "Do you know how many people were worried for you, Y/N? Worried for you here?" he asked rhetorically. I don't know.

"We were worried you weren't going to wake up during those days. They had even brought in flowers for you while I stayed here for you the whole two-fucking-weeks, for fucks sake. Does that mean anything to you? Or did you think it was a gesture of pity? If you really thought it was a gesture of pity, they wouldn't request for you to come to the surprise birthday party that day."

I gasped as I looked at him. "Yeah, the day you also almost k-killed yourself was on my birthday, great birthday present, huh? Instead of celebrating my birthday for the first time in a long time, I spent my birthday sitting at the hospital and worrying about someone I loved." Jungkook scoffed.

"And you know, if they didn't care for you, they wouldn't have asked to see you during the days you were mourning in your bedroom. I said no, though. I knew you weren't ready to see them after what happened." He added.

Jungkook was angry now. He pushed himself off the chair, pacing around when he spoke. He was trying to conceal his anger, not wanting to scare me, but I knew the words he said was all of his pent up anger.

"Do you know how selfish that was?" He asked. "Do you know how many people cared for you, and sat there and prayed for you in that moment?" I stayed quiet.

"Do you know how shaken up they were when they heard what happened? And it wasn't just me that waited in the waiting room, Y/N. We were allthere. In fact, Taehyung and Jimin are still out there right now."

"It was a selfish idea, Y/N. You have always thought about your family that has been dead for, what, 10 years now, but what about us? What about Bangtan? Are we not your family?"

He continued on his ranting, his voice a little louder now. "I fucking love you, Y/N, and you didn't even consider me a person you should live for, you didn't consider Bangtan as people you should live for—people you should go to for help.

"You need to learn how to love yourself first before you love me,"

The next words were the words that broke my heart.

"If you hadn't even considered me a person you should live for, ".

And my heart broke.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." He said as he grabbed his jacket from the chair and walked through the door, closing it behind him.

Am I surprised? That he had done something that everyone does to me?

No, they always leave.

Vote if you're crying too :(