"Let's go!" Mom yelled, her voice echoed off the walls in our house. We were headed to Disneyland today and I couldn't be anymore excited.

My family of four, including myself got into our car. "Anything else we need for the next 5 days?" Dad asked, Dae-suk and I both shook our heads. As the car pulled out from the driveway, we both waved to the house. Goodbye for now.

"Under the sea, under the sea," I screamed. Dae-suk covered his ears while I tried singing my loudest. I saw my mom's eyes widened through the rear-view mirror as I sang louder.

A loud screeching sound rang in my ears.

All of a sudden fire was everywhere. I screamed as the pain and burning sensation travel up my legs and reaches the tip of my fingernails. I scream, trying to grab my legs out from under.

I roll on the ground after freeing my legs, taking the fire out. I tried looking for Dae-suk, mom, or dad, but they were nowhere to be founded. There was too much smoke and debris to see.

I walk around the perimeter of the car, noticing Dae-suk still stuck in his seat—he isn't moving. "Dae-Suk!" I cried out. I pulled his arm, trying to get him conscious. If I don't get him out soon I'll burn too. But isn't that better than living alone?

"G-go." I heard him say.

"What?" I was unable to comprehend was he said.

He coughed, "I said go!" He screamed. "You'll burn too, and you have a future ahead of you, Y/N. I-I can't move anyways." He pointed his finger to his legs that have been impaled.

"It's going to blow up soon." He said. "I love you, Y/N." He said, giving me a weak smile.

"N-no!" I yelled as I felt pairs of hands pulling me back from the wreckage. I squirmed, struggled, and kicked around but nothing could release their hold on me.

I shriek, at the pain, at the loss, and at him. I hope you can hear me, mom, dad, and Dae-suk.

I gasp, sitting up on the bed as I continue to shriek. It was just a nightmare. No, not a nightmare, a memory. It seems all too real and I remember it too well.

I push my blankets off, curling myself in a ball as I continue to weep.

It was eight years ago today. We were going to Disneyland. The look on his face was so pure.

If he was still alive today, he'd be 21 years old. He's 3 years older than I am.

I looked up, trying to restrain my tears. I sighed, looking back down and sobbing some more.

I get into cars, but at times like now, the thoughts aren't very nice. I remember the moment so vividly, but I still haven't been able to figure out what caused the accidents. That part is still a mystery to me, but one day I hope to find out.

I've decided to skip school today. I put on a cardigan, walking to the florist shop.

"Hello, Y/N!" Mrs. Hwa smiled brightly. "The regular?" She asked. I nodded, I came here pretty regularly—as much as I can. It might be once or twice a week, or once in two weeks.

Mrs. Hwa came out with three beautiful looking bouquets. They were red and white. White, meaning purity, innocence, goodness, and life. Lives that had been lost. Red, meaning love, desire, strength, and most of all, anger. I was mad, that they left so early in my life. But I can't blame them.

"It's on me, this time." She handed over the bouquets. I was reluctant on receiving them without pay, but she didn't budge on taking my money whichever way I tried for eight years. It's a small gesture to do on the anniversary, but it's very touching.

Bowing, I thanked her. I walked out of the shop and walked to the cemetery—to visit my family.

I placed one bouquet next to each gravestone. I sighed, sitting on the ground next to them.

"Happy birthday, Dae-Suk." I sighed, looking up at the sky. Maybe you could hear me now.

"You were gone before... everything. Before I figured out what love was, before you loved someone. Sometimes I wonder what It would be like to have you as a protective brother." I sighed, wiping my tears.

"Well, I bumped into this guy... he was a douche, but for some reason, he asked me out. Not really, more so forced me. He seems...okay. He isn't as bad as people perceive him as. Honestly, I don't know how I feel about him. Maybe he's bipolar, I mean he was all mad then got all soft." I sighed. I hope they're listening. If Dae-suk was here, he'd probably beat up Jungkook already.

"His name is Jeon Jungkook. He's one of the school's baddest boys. There's seven, but apparently he's the worst. He gets away with everything. I made him laugh once, everyone stared since It was out of the ordinary." I chuckled.

"Anyways, I'm rambling but I can't say if he's good for me to hang around, and I wish you were here to help me judge that. I wish you were here, even if you were gonna be that over-protective brother." I wouldn't mind, I don't understand why the girls in books always act so... salty with their brothers that just want to protect them. They don't know what it's like to not have one.

I sat at their graves for a few more hours even though it felt like minutes. I talked to them as if they were here. Maybe they'll send me a sign, something that'll lead me to the path they want me to go on. The one mom, dad, and Dae-suk wanted me to follow.

I want to live my life. That night took everything away from me, except myself. I wish Dae-Suk was the one alive. He'd be able to do great things, live his life amazingly, find someone to love and have a family. But that is something that I know I can never have.

I have a faint scar on my thighs, and nobody could see it unless they look really closely. I barely wear shorts or skirts because of that. If anyone saw, they'd ask, and I could lie about it, but it already gives me a tough time even thinking about that moment.

I miss them. I miss them everyday, and I'll never forget them. I'll never forget the loudness in the house and I'll never forget the smiles that were shown on their faces. Maybe everyday I'm healing, maybe I am getting better.

Wiping my tears, my thoughts are interrupted as my phone vibrates next to me.

Hello princess ;)

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