《Zane the Mad :Part of the Legendary Interviews》17 I think I said before I don't often enjoy music the way other people seam to.
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had the two little dragon lings come back to me putting them away. I had worried that they had more life then I was giving them credit for. But the little no imp had given me was enough for me to see them once more as symbiotes.
Things that lived in and with me, not needing any real freedom or autonomy. Though I could just be lying to myself about that.
The only other option would be to think of them as 2 pets that lived inside of me that needed to be let out and played with.
I did not like that idea at all.
I took a portal to the ship where I had left the hoop of upgrading and refining. Touching it to a little bit of mercury so it could copy the powers before putting it into my equip slot next to my neralizer.
"Ok. So when you said No more then 2 powers or it would crit fail in the worst way." I said.
"Yep." Imp said "A dragon power coming to attack you seams pretty standard."
"OK." I said my mind pulling out ideas and ways I mite cheat it with my new weapon while looking at it held in one hand.
"You know when you would table top game in high school and Ty would be impressed with all the crazy things you could come up with and do with things so he just let you do them?" imp asked smiling down at me. "But every other dm just got mad at how you seamed to be wrecking everything and couldn't trust you with a pair of pliers?"
"yeah." I said knowing where this was going.
"Yeah the gods are the other DMS. Not a single one of them is enjoying your shit." Imp said then looked like she had just been hit before looking like she was forced to say. "+2 humor."
I smiled at that "good one."
Imp just scowled but her point had been made. I had gotten points as far as I could remember from Brutality, Effeminacy, Tension, and a couple from Humor. That left an unhappy Style.
"Any way I could convince style to trade in for drama?" I asked "i mean what's a guy got to do to get some style points?"
I held the weapon I had bonded to myself the long hook on a pole would stand out just trying to walk around and for some reason I didn't feel like just putting it in my inventory.
"i... am... frozen with choices." Imp said slowly clearly trying to come up with the best come back.
"yeah yeah yeah." I said. "you know i'v got another idea. These judges don't seam like programs just to say weather or not I am that one thing. I'm betting there board gods, so that being said how about we get rid of the one judge per-category thing? Any of them could send me points for any of them?"
Imp got that processing look on her face again. "But what makes you think that?"
"Logic." I said running into that thing again where I couldn't explain the obvious thing.
"They will consider it." Imp finally said.
"Ok..." I said hoping for the best.
"I do have a message from style." Imp said "The closest you have gotten to getting points is when you stood outside your house as the slime consumed it looking stoic and mysterious. And when you where talking about getting a halo to fuck with the church people."
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"why didn't I get the points from the watching the house go out?" I asked thinking about a power I could get away with giving the hook as I spun it around a little noticing how it cut into the ground even when I tried to raise it up a bit. "just a it to long."
"you just stood there and then left instead of doing something like reporting into a fake boss or being beamed up and way." Imp said.
"so I didn't go far enough? and style seams to enjoy fucking with people." I said then thinking out loud. "Power to level up and gain powers?"
"No." Imp said knowing I was talking about the hook. "and yes, there is a word you think you know that would work as well as style. Chunibyo."
"Oh... good." I Grinned a little. "an excuse. The power to channel my other powers thought it?"
"NO." Imp said
"It's own equipment slots?" I asked giving the hook a test swing the hole in my suit bothering me so I had my slime rise up from my skin like sweat to consume it.
"No." imp said with a sigh.
"hmm." I hmmmed trying to think of what to wear, swinging the hook's tip into the ground so it would stand beside me.
I was soon going to see a group of churchy bastards, but before that I wanted to play with my knew weapon a little and use it's new power.
So for the moment I put on baggy black silk shorts and a slightly tight t-shirt.
The t-shirt was a little tight to remind me that I wasn't as jiggly and chunky as I had been.
"Shape-shifting?" I asked thinking back to the reason I had chosen mercury as the base for the super weapon in the first place.
"Yes." Imp said seaming relived I finally picked a power that wasn't me cheating.
'i better not over think it.' I thought giving my weapon the power of shape-shifting.
Imp let out a long sigh. "Finally, the gods are so happy that you picked something not awful you'v gotten a little bit of bonus power to the staff.
Don't get to exited it's just a boost to the shape-shifting, it will be more of a level 4 power instead of a level 2."
"My levels?" I asked a little impressed.
"yes, not system."
"sweet." I said with a smile. Level 2 would mostly just be shape change like water being pored into different shaped cups, or clay being molded. Level 4 would let it change color, texture, have a little bit of size increase or decrease, along with being able to change into a gas or powder while still being usable.
"Yes, learn to not cheat so much and they mite help you out more." Imp said.
"Is it cheating if its just being myself?" I asked gripping the hook, trying to think of a name for it while making it shift like a snake to wrap around my bare arm moving along my shoulder to the other hand flattening and changing into scales. The light tattoo coating I put on my skin took just enough from the main part of the weapon so that I could spin it with out it cutting up the ground.
Witch I did with satisfaction, spinning the weapon then moving it from one hand to the other keeping the momentum.
I didn't remember having the chance to spin around real spears, but I did swing around brooms and dowl rod I had bought to use as a staff.
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So at first I didn't notice it but by the 5th rotation I could feel the weapon moving for me adjusting a little to keep its spin going easier and better aligned.
I smiled swinging it around watching the hook. Going though some motions with it, getting used to the feel.
"you know." I said moving with the hook, in my own mind if you don't hit anything your just dancing with your weapon. "I think I would like a little music."
"Oh wow." Imp said thinking for a moment before starting to play some rock song I thought I recognized but it was singing in Japanese.
"I thought I got Omnilingual from the dragon powers." I asked imp as I started to feel the grove of the song.
"You did but you need to activate it and focus." Imp
said.
'Good to know' I thought starting to feel the music in me for once. Sidestepping in time with the music nearly dragging the hook along the ground before opening a portal behind me and hopping back into it.
Closing my eyes for a moment as the portal closed to make it like I had blinked into a new place I took in the street corner I had landed at. It was still dark in and oddly this street was nearly empty of the normal car crashes or gunfights. Still there was a lone Orc officer walking along the streets looking and sniffing for trouble.
I lept onto the top of a street light c that the Orc was about to pass though crouching before letting down my hook behind the pole to hid it in the shadow. As the Orc passed by I quickly swung the hook moving over his neck then standing.
The hook acted almost like a nose for a moment pulling the Orc by his neck until the blade sliced though dropping the head and body.
The Orc I didn't see on the other side of the street grabbed his walkie snarling into it before I pushed myself off of the light post drifting at him taking his head with a light swing of the hook.
I saw the lights of approaching cars wondering if there walkies could just summon them, I swung my hook making it go long and thin as a wire until it hooked itself to the light pole I had lept off.
I made the wire even thinner before running a vector along it to be sure it was strong and unmovable.
I took the part of the hook I had made into a tattoo and changing it into a hollow replica of the hook string still stretched out to wear I had stood. Before leaping into the street ahead of where the cops where going.
The 2 cop cars side by side barley making it though the street with 4 more behind them came charging around a corner.
I was far enough back that they didn't even consider stopping when they hit the wire.
It cut clean though the first two cars that swerved and crashed the 4 behind them piling up in a mighty crash. The momentum of the crash pushed the other cars into my wire but they stopped with the wire just brushing there chests.
I released the vectors. I tried to angle the hook on the pole before pulling on it keeping the vector on the spot where I had it anchored so that it first cut though the pole then the Orcs in there cars and then taking a sharp turn to come back to me.
I added it to the hook already in my hand waiting as the light sifted and fell filing diagonally onto the line of crashed ork cars.
I Nodded in satisfaction and the timing with the music, changing the point of the hook into a card dangling on a little chain.
"NO." Imp said disrupting the music and making me jump just a little. "That counts as more then 2 powers."
"Fuck you." I spat my head starting to buzz a little with the disrupted music. I pulled the hook back into my skin like a tattoo of dragon scales.
I pulled out the mercury dragon instead telling it to act like my hook for a moment. After imp didn't say anything to stop me I used the card I had at the end of the hook.
It was a tornado card the air picking up and turning into the twister picking up the stacks of cars and light pole and spinning them up into the air.
As they flew up I turned the bottom of my staff into more cards sending them up and out into the twister to get lost in the mix until I had nothing left but the single card floating before me.
I tried to activate the other cards I sent up each one of them showing a large spike. But was disappointed when only a single spike shot out in the middle of the flying pile.
Instead I cheated using the slime's extra body in storage to get the effect of the cards shooting out spikes into the pile. In my opinion it made a beautiful mess of a pile the cars the light post the large spikes ending in the flat cards looked like some sculpture that took hours and hours to make.
'And if it wasn't for magic it mite take weeks to make this.' I thought looking up at it as more cars started coming from behind me.
I wanted to use the cards legitimately but didn't have the points, time, or the patience to train it up right now. Instead I kept using the Mercury slime as a substitute.
I watched the incoming set of orcs as the drove to me waiting till the last second before jumping on the hood of one of the fist ones.
Sending in the last card I had been hanging onto pulling half of it to rap itself around the steering wheel and the other half to keep the gas pedal down.
Surfing on the hood of the cop car facing the windshield I had the metal drive as I aimed us under the pile of other cars and spikes. The orcs in the car I was riding yelled and snarled thumping the dash board and calling in more back up as the ones behind went into high gear. I started dropping cars right after I passed though to a safe spot. the cards holding them up with spikes flying back to me to float around my shoulders.
I watched the raining metal drop onto the line of cars chasing after me and as always happens in movies they began to explode into balls of fire, both the dropped cars and the ones dropped on.
I turned facing to were we were going using the find power to drive us to a much larger and open area.
I sent ahead a fake black whole spell to grab up everything in the area, making it truly empty and open.
The metal slime grabbing up all the cars, light posts, power lines, fire hydrants, street signs, and trees in the area into it's storage space.
As we got there I took a step back up and over the orc car I had been riding the little bit of card flying out of the windows and back into the pile I had floating around me.
The cop car roaring on into the still opened fake black hole getting grabbed up and into it before I shut it off walking forward into the center of the open area I sent cards out to every street just enough to form a line of spikes far enough back that the cops would have to walk to get to me.
I moved the rest of the cards around me from just behind my back to floating around me fount and back, while taking some to just above my fore arms in layers of half rings.
I used time dilation a little so that the cops found and rushed to me sooner, instead of waiting for them to crash there cars come out and then run there way up to me. It seamed much more like they had been waiting to get the drop on me and started poring out of the streets.
As soon as I was satisfied with the numbers I dropped the speed up telling the cards around me to defend me as the cops began to open fire.
The cards moved intercepting the bullets, one card per bullet. It did make it more satisfying that they where movie prop bullets so every one that hit a card exploded with a small pang or ping letting me know just how many bullets I was blocking.
I sent out the cards from my for arms past the wall of defending cards and with a gesture they sprouted arms. Large, long, strong, armored arms each one coming out punching into a cop orcs nocking them together grouping them up, until with another gesture the cards rose above the cops and huge combat booted feet as big as any of the orcs stomped down on them leaving behind a large crater of shoe prints in the concrete.
I moved the cards down and spread them out this time the armored fists held large swords swinging and copping away at the orcs as they gathered around piling in.
I heard the sound of helicopters as they flew above the buildings to come at me. I pulled one of the defending cards to my hand so it floated just above it. A giant metal mimic of my own hand shot out grabbing one of the choppers as if it was a child's toy, the rotters breaking off in the palm before fingers grabbed hold. I swung it into the other chopper both exploding at the same time, the large hand I was controlling kept going punching into the street sweeping away a large swath of Orcs.
The song was ending and I was starting to feel board with the destruction feeling like a large child with his toys.
"Oh damn." I said "I got distracted, I was supposed to be using my new weapon... Fuck."
I sighed pulling the cards together into a large net sweeping away all the destruction and still attacking orcs.
"Wasn't there an item that let me control the orks?"
"Yep but now it's a power remember?" Imp asked smugly
"yeah yeah." I said with a sigh finding the item, the chief of police's hat, and opened a portal to it snatching it off his head before grabbing his walkie talkie.
Sipping the cap on my head I spoke into the walkie "All officers stand down, I repeat all officers Do no engage the hostile OVER."
I saw some more helicopters start to fly over me before they moved on the Orc cops I could see on the other side of the large net I had made snarled and growled but got back into there cars to drive away.
"Well that was a waist of time..." I said pulling the hat off and tossing it into storage, while telling the mercury dragon to come back to me.
"Not quite." Imp said with a little sigh. "+10 brutality, +10 efficiency, +3 humor, +4 style.”
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