《Journal of an Adventurer》Kilroy, sword master
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My body rocks from side to side. That must have been some bad ale. As I open my eyes, a large bearded man is standing over me. “Sir, you need to wake up! Your clothes have arrived, and here, a message left by your companions.”
I read the piece of paper.
Halfy,
WayWocket and I have gone ahead.
You seem to need your rest for tonight.
See you at four.
G.
Great. Bloody Gunnar. Hang on! His hands glowed green, then he lurched towards me, then I woke up. Calm, nice thoughts. Kill him; well, punch him later.
“Sir, are you all right?” the 'thug' asks.
“I'm fine.” I do feel clean and refreshed. “Did someone wash me?”
“Oh yes, your Dwarven friend asked for you to be washed. It took me a little time, but I got you cleaned up.”
Bloody Gunnar, he is probably laughing about this right now. “Oh, thanks, I think. My clothes?”
“This way, sir. May I say, you have many scars for someone so young.” I have a good look at him now. He is a well-built, middle-aged man with silver streaks through his hair and a full beard. Favinonians always have better beards than I will ever have. “Here we go, sir. Is there anything else you need? Another ale, perhaps?”
If I know anything, I know that this is the type of guy who has seen the deepest pit of torment. His stare alone could stop an army or at least a decent sized squad. He seems out of place here.
“Just one thing. May I ask your name?”
“Kilroy. Kilroy Jankson. Why do you ask, sir?”
“Well, you have seen me naked, so I thought it would be better to know your name. Having strangers handling my manhood makes me feel weird. Pleased to meet you, Kilroy. I am Lone Solo.”
He returns a pleasant smile. “Nice to meet you too, Solo.”
Picking up my clothes, I have no idea how to put them on. There are fluffy parts and tights. What the hell is that, a plushy fan? How the bloody hell am I going to wear this? And look at those boots, they would wear out before I even reach the ball! At least there is a pig sticker so I will not be unarmed.
“Hey, Kilroy, do you know how to wear this stuff?” Picking up the plushy fan, waving it in the air. “I know how to put on pants and armour, but this stuff is weird.”
Walking over, I can see a smirk on his face. “Well, that is for around your neck, and the rest is simple; short trunk hose on first, then the doublet.” Okay, I can do that. “Wait, slow down. Bunch up the hose and pull them up slowly.”
“Okay, like this?” He nods. Great, I feel like a useless flop. Now the doublet. “Whoa, that is tight.”
“Just have to attach the leg-of-mutton sleeve, then the cape, and finally the ruff.” He moves in to help me with the sword belt. I am grateful because I can barely move in this garb. “You are missing a hat. One moment.”
I really do not need a hat. As he runs off, I can finally look at myself. Wow, I look stupid. Why do I need to wear this sort of stuff? At least I like the colour. Now let us see if I can draw my weapon quickly. Good! Even though I am restricted, I seem to be able to draw and thrust. Must be why they have these pig stickers.
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Couple of my feints and thrusts, block and—
“Ahem. Have you finished?”
I turn and look at Kilroy, seeing him drop the hat on a nearby seat. It has a huge feather in it—no thank you.
“Oh, yes. Just want to make sure I can defend myself.”
“You have some skill, but you are using it a little wrong. It is not a broadsword. You need a little more finesse. Five centimetres is enough to reach a major organ. Each over-thrust would ... Here, let me show you.” I hand him the sword. “I know you have weapons here too. Go grab them.”
I go to my clothes and belongings, pulling my sword out. “You know, it is a little slippery in here.”
“That is why we are heading to the courtyard. Follow me.” I follow. What else am I going to do? The way he is holding that sword makes me feel like I should listen.
We walk into a completely open courtyard filled with training mats, dummies, and weapons. What is this place?
“Here we are. Good, no one is using the training area.”
“This is no bathhouse! What is with all this equipment?”
He smiles. “Well, only the military and Adventurers can wield weapons, so my boss opened this place for rich merchants and lower nobility to train.” He stands in the middle of a mat, his body angled to a semi-profile position, heels only slightly apart. Sword arm is extended horizontal to the ground, sword held at arm's length. He raises his weapon's tip to be level with my eyes. I have never seen this sort of stance before. “Now, attack me!”
I drop into a low guard. I am no novice with the sword, but looking at him makes me feel like a child with a stick. I thought I should start with a feint, and move to a cross-attack. As I move in, he disappears and I feel a slight tap on my shoulder blade.
“Again!” Kilroy yells.
Fine, switch from one hand to two. Screw defence, pure attack! Hold my sword in front like that trainer from Havanti showed me. Slide forward and wait for him. Slide a little more, just a little more. Blades are now touching, main reason for this style is one strike, one kill. He shifts, looks like a thrust. I roll my wrists, step to the side, and move to a diagonal slice. He catches my blade on the hilt and sidesteps.
I follow him, drop back to one hand, duck and thrust up from squat position. He sees that, moves again. Taps me on the cheek. Not enough pressure to draw blood.
This is frustrating. I survived years of the army and the events of last night, and now some bath servant is getting the better of me. I yell at him, “Again!”
He hops back, lowers his guard. “Sword up, soldier!” I salute him. What? He is a bath boy! “Five-year tour?”
This guy has pissed me right off. “Yes.”
“Understandable that you are angry. You do have some good moves but they lack, mmm, how can I say this? Skill.” Say what? I will show you skill! “You are a wall feeder, with some skill with a sword, but you lack proper training. I can tell that you have diced with death a few times, is that true?”
“What, you want my life story, Kilroy? Yes, but I am standing and they are not. That is how a real fight is won.”
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“You do not truly understand the art of the sword. Maybe one day you could come back and I can show you the path.”
“Bah! At least you did not mess up my costume. Joan would be so pissed if you had.” I wonder how far I have to walk for this ball thing. Where is it again? Oh Jenell’s book, it is at the Count's estate; that is a couple of kilometres away. Damn it! “I guess I should get going. It is going to take me an hour to walk to the ball.”
Kilroy cocks his head. He looks like some predatory bird staring at me. “Are you not taking a carriage to the ball? Walking will take you quite some time. And it is nearly mid-afternoon, so not long to go before the festivities begin.”
“I cannot afford it. The longer I stand here, the longer it is going to take, so thanks and goodbye.”
I turn to leave but his hand grasps my shoulder. “I have delayed you enough. Here is your sword back. Please, allow me to deliver your other clothes back to your home and also call you a carriage so you do not have to walk that distance.”
“Why do you care if I catch a ride or walk? Like I said, I have no money, so I will just walk.”
That intense stare returns. Kilroy replies, “Your Gnome friend talked strangely, but he said that you are stubborn and need to be shown the path. Your companions ordered you a ride … Did you really save that girl from the burning building a day or so ago?”
I sigh. Why did you not tell me earlier! Bloody trumped-up people! “Yes, I did, so I am getting a medal for it. But really, it is just some ploy. I am just a pawn in this whole thing.”
“Honestly, if you do come back, I’ll make sure they let you through. I’ll show you how to really use that sword.” A young lady calls out something behind me. I could not hear as I was fuming at this prat! “Ah, your carriage has arrived. Pleased to meet you, Solo. I’ll see you next time.”
“Yeah, sure.” With that, I have had enough. “Just send my stuff to the Hall, care of Pela or Bertude.”
“If that is your request, it shall be done, sir.”
I leave without another word. He is starting to run an equal first with Gunnar. Teach me how to use a sword? Yeah, using his fancy moves, but I survived battles and fights! What has he got to teach me? Damn, I need a drink. Wow, that is a nice carriage. I should thank WayWocket for hiring it for me.
“Where to?” The driver leans over and asks.
Does he not know? “The Count's estate, thank you.”
Jumping in, I am now alone with my thoughts. Such a great place to be. Oh look, there are some brown spirits in here. I do not mind if I do. Ah, that is just what I needed. Calms the nerves, allows bad thoughts to float away. Should not drink too much of this stuff. Stillwater will have my head if I show up drunk. But it does go down well.
Teach me how to fight! Where does that guy get off? I know how to fight! It is one of the things I actually know how to do. I learnt all these skills in the army. What can that guy teach me?
One more that should help. Nice burn and smooth. Relaxing might just switch off for a while … Oh, I forgot that ugly hat! Oh well.
Someone is shaking me again. Just let me nap for once!
“Sir!”
“What? Where am I?” Blinking the sleep out. Oh yes, the Count's place. “Sorry about that, must still be tired.”
“If you would kindly exit, as I have other patrons to pick up.”
Well, no need to be all snooty. “Sure thing!”
Oh my Holy Trinity, this place is huge! Being the Count must be good. Where is everyone? The sun is in the right position for four o’clock. Hope everything is okay. Well, at least for Stillwater and WayWocket; Gunnar can go jump.
I wonder what it would be like to live in a place like this. Your own room, beds not made out of straw, no having to worry about the cold, or biting insects. Rich people, bah! Should I just go inside or—?
“Hey, what are you doing, Halfy?” Great, it is Gunnar. “Get your Truth-spawn arse over here. We have been waiting for you.”
As I walk over, I can see what they are wearing. Why in the name of the most Holy am I wearing this frilly thing? Gunnar is wearing a long jacket with nice pants and shoes. He has even plaited his hair and beard and cleaned his face. WayWocket is wearing a blue cloak with white sleeves, a yellow tunic, orange pants, and one red shoe and one purple one too. And his hair looks a really light green-blue. Never noticed before.
“So where is Joan?” I ask.
“I am here.”
I did not even notice her there, not that she was hiding, but wow. She is wearing a light blue dress with lace trim. She is tall and muscular, her hair is the same, but something about her face, it looks beautiful …
“What are you staring at, Lone?”
“Ahem, sorry about that, Joan. I never … I thought … I mean, seeing you in a dress is a bit of a shock, that is all.”
“Well, I am a woman. What, you couldn’t fathom me dressed like a lady?”
Now, I could be honest, but this is a time to have a little tact. “Joan, just because I was surprised does not mean that I do not think of you as a lady.” Her face is contemplating whether or not I am lying to her. “I just think you look really nice in a dress.” Good, not too complimentary.
Stillwater has a ghost of a smile on her face. “Okay. Thanks.” Guess I am not going to be punched in the face. “Now, the plan. When Lone receives his medal, it should allow him to have a conversation with the Count; maybe the Duke.”
“We are going to leave the whole thing to Halfy here? That will go down well!”
Love you too, Gunnar.
“Things will happen, Dawn will rise, all shall follow. Only seeing will allow sight.”
“Yes, thank you, WayWocket.” He beams at me. I have no idea what he is on about. “Yes, Gunnar, I will be able to talk to the Count, and once that happens, I can bring you all over and introduce you to him. Zlata will go to the hangman for what she had planned for this city!”
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