《Friday Night Food Heist》Food Heist
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The phone box was a ten-minute walk from Mac's house, and although the other three chatted amongst themselves as we walked, I was more concerned with our slim hopes of pulling off Mac's Friday night food heist. It was fraught with danger, but I had to admit I felt a slight buzz about the whole thing, certainly more of a buzz than hanging around a shop in the hope a worker chases us down the street.
"Let's hope the phone's working." Alan said, as we approached the squared box.
Now, anyone who has ever used a phone box in Scotland knows they aren't the most inviting of places. Most are covered in graffiti and reek of urine. Thankfully, Mac had already offered to make the call so there was no need for me to venture into what could only be described as the jaws of hell.
"Here we go," said Mac as he pulled the stiff door that led into the phone box. "Jeez, it's minging. Smells like the whole town has peed in here. I'll pass oot if I shut this door. One of you hold it open while I'm phoning the Food Pit.
I didn't envy Mac having to withstand such an awful smell. He made the call quickly and then emerged looking pleased with himself. It was obvious the Food Pit had taken the bait.
"Too late to back out, boys." he said, rubbing his hands with obvious glee.
"Anyone got a watch?" Alan asked. " We need to keep track of the time."
I gave him the thumbs up. "Don't worry, I'll keep track."
"What now?" Stewart asked Mac, before producing another smoke from his seemingly never-ending supply.
"We'll walk Alan doon to Davie Kerr's hoose and hang around until it's time. As soon as he goes inside, we boost round to Frank Logan's and get into position."
We laughed and joked all the way to our destination. What surprised me was how calm Alan seemed. He displayed nerves of steel for a boy with such an important role to play in the Friday night food heist. One wrong move would spell doom for the plan, leaving Alan to take the heat. Even when it was time for him to head into Davie Kerr's house, he was still grinning from ear-to-ear.
"Don't make a mess of my brilliant plan." Mac warned.
"You just concentrate on getting into position," Alan told him. "And you, Stewart."
Stewart's expression was blank. "What about me?"
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"Lay aff they smokes. You'll need to keep us with these two."
Mac and I chuckled at the same time, but Stewart simply pointed at Davie Kerr's front door, obviously hinting for Alan to get a move on.
"Good luck." I said to him.
"Here's to the heist." he replied before knocking on Davie front door.
As we waited for Davie to answer, I glanced quickly at Mac. He was stood on his tiptoes with fists clenched, practically willing the door to open like Ali Baba at the mystery cave. Finally, Davie appeared and let Alan inside.
"That's him away," Mac grinned. "Time for us to do the hard part."
We arrived outside Frank's garden but kept to the right of the blood red fence, concealed by the next-door neighbour's out-of-control hedge. This was the part I had been dreading since Mac had first mentioned his crazy plan. We were putting ourselves at the mercy of an ex-paratrooper who wouldn't think twice about battering all three of us for trespassing. I had no intention of learning such a painful lesson, so I hoped Mac took the danger seriously too.
Stewart, who was leaning against the lamppost, slowly peeled himself away like a sticker and peeked around the hedge to gaze into Frank's garden. Mac wasted no time in pulling him back.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Just some recon."
"That's not recon. That's putting your big forehead where it can be seen."
"I just want to get this done."
Mac laughed. "Then let me go first."
With Mac taking point, and me in the middle, we walked to the front gate. I never took my eye off the door and windows the whole time. Mac pushed open the gate, allowing us access to the driveway.
"Music." he commented.
Sure enough, tunes were coming from the house, along with raised voices. The unexpected development spurned me on, so I pushed Mac in the back, making him move faster towards the red ford escort parked in the driveway by the right-hand side of the house. One there, we got on our knees and hid between the car and the neighbour's hedge.
"I think he's having a party." Stewart blurted out.
"How are you not a detective?" was Mac's sarcastic reply.
"I'm just saying."
"Well, don't. It's like telling us the sky is blue or that hedge is green."
"Stop arguing," I said, "We need to pull in the same direction here."
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Stewart nodded. "This is a dodgy situation so let's treat it as such."
For a change, I agreed with Stewart.
"There's people in his house so that means more chance of being spotted," I explained. "All it takes is one of them to walk past a window, or someone out the back smoking."
"Don't forget Princess the Chihuahua." Mac added.
"I for...."
A click from the front door stunned me into silence. Rooted to the spot, I heard the music louder than before. Someone had obviously left the house. The sound of footsteps coming in our direction made me nervous. They were followed by an unmistakable gruff voice.
"Back in a minute."
I peered around the side of the car for a quick survey of the situation. Frank was coming towards the car. He was wearing a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
"Where are you sneaking off to?" someone shouted from the open front door.
"There's more beers in the boot of my car. I meant to bring them in earlier."
My heart thudded inside my chest. Stewart was shaking uncontrollably beside me. I turned to Mac, but he looked a picture of calm as the dangerous situation unfolded. He even put a hand on Stewart's shoulder and mouthed:
"It will be all right."
Realising Frank would catch us if we didn't move, I urged Mac and Stewart away from our spot. We crawled to the front of the car, just before Frank came around the driver's side and unlocked the door. The moon had illuminated us now. I could see beads of sweat glistening on Mac's forehead, his intense gaze aimed at the night sky.
Frank continued to unload the beers from his boot. He seemed to take an age to finish, but finally I heard the boot slam and then the driver's door being locked again.
"Stick some of those bad boys in the fridge." Frank said to the person by the door.
Then footsteps in the opposite direction, followed by the front door being opened and closed. I breathed a sigh of relief and then glared at Mac.
"That was too close."
"Calm doon you big fairy."
I chuckled. "Aye, as if you weren't panicking when he came to the car."
"Maybe but it will all be forgotten when we're tucking into our free food."
"Don't forget the ice-cream." Stewart added.
Mac rolled his eyes. "Yup, the ice-cream as well. Now, let's keep moving. Our next target is that locked gate leading into the back garden."
It was funny to hear Mac talking like we were secret agents on her majesty's secret service, instead of three chancers trying to con our way to a free meal with ice-cream. I got the impression he was loving every minute of our high-risk venture. Not that I blamed him. The buzz was unlike anything I'd ever experienced.
The gate separating the front garden from the back was about six feet high with a small gap at the bottom and metal spikes running along the top. A big problem at first glance, but as we got closer, I realised there was a space to reach the latch on the left-hand side.
"This is dodgy." Mac whispered to me.
"Why?"
"The kitchen window is just to the left of the gate. If someone's in there they could see us opening the gate. Things could get messy."
I nodded. "It'll get even more messy if we alert Princess."
"The music should drown out the noise." Stewart added.
"Here's hoping," Mac said, "OK Stewart, open the gate."
He reached forward but then drew back quicker than a shopkeeper with a dodgy till drawer.
"Why do I need to open the gate?"
"Because you do." Mac growled.
Stewart folded his arms to make it clear he had no intention of following Mac's order.
"It's not a big deal. Just open the gate, will you?" Mac said through gritted teeth.
"If it's no big deal then you do it."
"I'm not doing it."
"Why?"
"Cos there might be a devil-dog waiting on the other side to take my hand off."
"Oh, so it's alright for me to lose my hand is that what you're saying?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying."
Their voices were raised now, so I did the only sensible thing and reached through the gap. I felt about for the latch and then unhooked it. The gate swung open leaving us staring into the darkness of Frank's back garden. There were raised voices and rambunctious laughter coming from the kitchen, so we crawled along the concrete path until we reached the narrow gap between Frank's hut and his next-door neighbour's fence.
"This is too easy." Mac grinned, slapping me on the back as we stood up.
It was then I saw something shining in the darkness just above the ground. A pair of luminous ruby eyes.
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