The sun was just setting as I neared the Hospital entrance. I coughed up black phlegm and spat it out on frozen grass before walking in through the sliding glass doors. The smoke in my lungs seemed to never end. I was greeted with dirty looks from the information desk staff. My appearance was shocking, no doubt. I was afraid they were going to turn me away, but when I asked what room Pam Turner was in, they politely told me to go to the fourth floor to room 403 after a few quick clicks of the mouse. Pam was awake when I walked into her room. I knew she was back to feeling somewhat normal because the news was on the small t.v. above her bed. She turned the volume down and smiled at me when I knocked. I took a seat in the worn guest chair with cracked faux leather.

I wanted to scream when I saw that a quarter of her head was bandaged from a burn. I choked down my fear. I didn’t want to upset Pam.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

She inhaled slowly, “Okay,” she rasped. “I don’t remember much.”

“It was Sam,” I said.

“Sam? He started the damn fire?” The rage in her voice began to rise.

“No, it was Sam who dragged you from The Palace. We were all outside, except you, and he went back in.”

Pam didn’t reply, but turned her attention back to the tiny screen, but her expression softened like room temperature butter. There was a young local reporter covering a shooting at a convenience store, across the bottom of the screen a reminder scrolled to watch the speech of President Persim’s campaign for a 3rd term.

I thought about the protest at the tower. Had that really only been yesterday? How could I have been so stupid. A rock of guilt grew in my stomach.

“I’m going to go see Sam. I’ll be back, do you want me to get you anything before I leave?” She shook her head, holding up her nurse call button to show that I was not needed.

Sam was asleep when I found his room on the floor above Pam’s. His mop of brown hair was a mess on his forehead, and covered his eyes. I pushed back the strands and took a seat next to his bed. I could feel the metal of the gun pressing into the small of my back. Grabbing a magazine from the table next to the chairs I tried to read, but my eyes wouldn’t focus. The night’s sleep on the floor had left me unrested, sore down to my bones. The chair felt more comfortable than my bed ever did back at The Palace. I glanced at Sam, he let out a snore. He wouldn't be awake for a while. I laid my head back against the wall and let the darkness wash over me.

I was in a school gymnasium. I knew it was my old high school, but the gym I was standing in could have belonged to any generic high school. Pale maple wood floors with black scuff marks, padded rectangles in faded red along the two shorter walls, and basketball hoops bent upwards for storage.

With a blink there was a huge crowd of students in the bleachers.Their sneakers echoing off the stands as they adjusted themselves to face my direction. I found myself standing behind a glass podium with a speech in front of me on clean, crisp paper. The font was Times New Roman, size 12, double spaced like every high school essay I had ever written. The title was blurred, my eyes were unable to focus on it. Each time I tried, the words would fuzz together like a dark caterpillar.

Eyes were on me from all sides, waiting. A nervous cough came from somewhere near the top of the bleachers. Public speaking used to give me butterflies, but now as I reached for the speech, I felt a sudden calm overtake me, a rock in my assurance even though I had no idea what I was about to read. I inhaled a deep breath and began.

“My fellow classmates, this is the year we move from paths laid out for us to paths we choose. Ideologies of others cannot be our only defining quality. We must look at life like-”

Gunfire sounded from the hallway outside the gym followed by laughter that did not seem quite human. The crowd of students’ faces went from eagerness to fear. I could see mouths become slack and eyes grow large. Whispers whipped through the air, though I could make out none of them. A tightening knot rose through me like a hot air balloon.

“Keep them calm, honey,” a woman’s voice said.

I looked behind me for the speaker, but no one was there. “Ladies and gentlemen, panic will do us no good. We must remain calm to figure our way out of this new development.” The whispers stopped and eyes turned to me.

“Now think logically,” a deep baritone of a voice said.

There was a banging down the hall, followed by more gunfire.

“Barricade the door. Use the staff chairs. Jam the handles with a broom.” My voice echoed around the gym. “Now.” The students got up and began moving the chairs. A group of boys ran to the custodial closet. There was more gunfire this time just outside the doors.

“You are halfway there, be reasonable. Get them to safety,” the male voice said.

I didn’t check where this voice was coming from, but instead used it to steady myself. I looked around for a way out. I felt panic rising in me, and I saw panic rising in the crowd.

“Take a breath. They feed off your emotions,” it was the woman’s voice.

There was a light pressure on my shoulder; I turned to see the hand’s keeper. I saw the bright white teeth before anything else. The perfectly straight smile pushed the panic in me away. I stared at her face. It was pleasantly plump, with dimples on her cheeks; blue eyes looking at me with sympathy. Blonde curls fell to bare shoulders. The woman was very attractive, and I felt an impulse to compliment her, but I was tongue tied. Another being with an impeccably attractive face stared at me as he came into view behind her. He had brown eyes staring at me from behind half rimmed glasses and dark, unkempt hair on his head. He shared the same Greek nose as the woman.

He was wearing a tweed jacket and brown dress slacks that did little to hide his muscular frame. He pointed up. I followed his finger and saw what he was gesturing at, an open window above the bleachers.

He tapped his temple. “Logic,” I saw him mouth from across the room, but it sounded in my ears as if he were next to me. Both people were gone with my next breath as if they had turned to mist, leaving me staring at the open windows.

I turned to the microphone, and the mass of high school students and staff turned to me like soldiers at attention. “Cut down the climbing rope. We will escape from the window before-”

I opened my eyes. It took me a second to remember I was at the hospital. I lifted my head and turned to see Sam staring at me. “Hey,” he smiled. “You twitch in your sleep.”

I straightened up in the chair, dropping the magazine to the floor. I bent down to pick it up, embarrassed. “Sam, I’m glad to see you’re awake.”

“How’s Pam?” he asked.

“Good, I just saw her.” I sounded breathy as I tried to shake the drama of my dream away.

“Ava and Nathan?”

“They are on my list to see next.” There were a few moments of awkward silence before Sam reached out for my hand and pulled it close to him on the white sheets. My throat clenched and I hoped my surprise at this small act of human affection wasn’t betrayed by my face.

“I’m glad you’re safe. Yesterday when they told me you hadn’t gone to the hospital I worried about you all night. Well, most of the night. They gave me some stuff that knocked me out.”

I gazed at the tattoo on his wrist before pulling my hand out of his. His concern left me with a strange feeling like being smothered with laughing gas. I was overjoyed to see him awake and talking. It had been hard having the last image of him, one where he lay crumpled on the ground.

I found myself running my hand up his arm. I pulled it back.

“It’s a miracle you didn’t get burned,” I said.

“They put a salve on a few areas on my legs where the skin seemed raw, but nothing large. How are you?”

It was at that moment that I had a strong urge to cough. I swallowed the sensation, but I couldn’t open my mouth right away. Sam filled the silence.

“I was so glad you got out, Cora.”

“Is that how you messed up your legs? Kicking in my door?” I asked.

He nodded.

A rage filled me, but not toward Sam. “Why would you do something like that? You should have left, this was all my fault.” I began to cough.

“Your fault?”

I wiped my mouth after I finished coughing. “Yes, my fault. I gave that damn speech.”

“Cora-” he reached for my hand again.

“I’m going to go visit Ava. I’ll be back.”

He left his hand on the bed where I had slid out of it, and didn’t say anything as I walked to the door. I could feel his eyes on me even as I turned around.

The nurse at the reception desk on this floor gave me a look of disgust as I approached. My hair looked a mess, and my clothes were wrinkled and smoke stained. And I am sure I didn’t smell too pleasant either. I asked her where I could find my friends, and the look of disdain changed to one of sympathy immediately. She even slipped me the key to the floor showers for patients, and told me to take whatever I wanted from the lost and found.

“Patients leave all sorts of things behind,” she smiled at me as she slid a large box out from under her desk. I walked away feeling confused. Surely this was not hospital protocol, but a shower did sound nice, and I was sure Nathan and Ava would appreciate it if I didn’t reek of smoke and the bleached floors of the shelter before I saw them.

The warm shower felt amazing, but I couldn’t enjoy it too long. I was worried a nurse would come in with a patient at any moment. So I scrubbed at my filth with a bleach white hospital washcloth as the steam rose from my skin. I was alone for the moment with time to think. So I tried again, whispering in my head.

Hello?

Helloooo? I tried again. I’ve never heard voices before, so I am either going insane or you are there.

I let out a sigh and turned the shower off. My head was silent, but it somehow felt overwhelmed, like it was crowded. It was as if my thoughts were taking up physical space.