Wen Reian

An Unknown Number of years after The Long Night

Jingshén

Wen Reian had hoped that coming home would mean the end of his dreams of Songcai. On the contrary, he appeared to be having them more often. Every night in fact.

Sometimes the man would just repeat the same things he'd already said; that Reian must practice healing, that he was born for more... tonight however, Jin Songcai's ghost seemed to be in a different mood.

Reian stood in the middle of the forest. It was night. Everywhere he looked it appeared the trees were creeping slowly towards him. Somehow, he knew he was in The Spirit Orchard, possibly centuries ago, before the ghosts had been destroyed.

Jin Songcai sat beneath one of the creeping trees, a flat bamboo hat covering his eyes, and Reian watched as silent tears fell from the man's chin.

A knot formed in the pit of the boy's stomach. Something he couldn't bear to see was another's tears, yet even worse was seeing someone as strong as Songcai crying. He didn't know when he'd formed an attachment to this dream-world apparition. Maybe it had to do with the fact that, despite his frustrating, never ending insistence that Wen Rei was meant for something special, Reian wished and was beginning to hope it was true.

To have someone like him tell you something like that, well... Reian's delicate self-esteem was absorbing every word like a sponge.

"Want to tell me why you're upset?" The boy said, taking a moment to remind himself that the trees and the spirits he could hear whistling around were not actually real and couldn't hurt him.

When Songcai remained silent, Reian bent down to sit on the forest floor. He crossed his legs and tried to peek underneath the hat. The healer's tears still fell, unbidden from his eyes, and Reian dreaded to think what could possibly make him cry.

Suddenly Songcai spoke; " Do you know what I'm most afraid of... Wen Reian?"

The boy blinked, hearing the rawness of his voice echoing through the trees. He responded slowly...

"No. What is it?"

His mind whirled; Spirits?! Demons, or monsters? Maybe Jin Songcai is afraid of war, he was a soldier too-

"Seeing the life go out of a person. Feeling their pulse fade, their fingers turn cold. I've been witnessing death my whole life. It didn't hurt so much until I began losing people who were only fighting for the right to exist. Soldiers, mothers, children... when I couldn't save them, when I was too late. When I had to write their names upon the list of the dead, tell their families, hold their hands. Feel their loss as it tore holes in them, and in me. And every time Xie-jun went to the battle-field, no... even when he went outside, I would imagine that the next time I saw him he would be covered in blood that wouldn't stop. That I'd be too late, and I'd have to hold his hand as it went cold and write his name under the thousands of others we both swore to protect. Through-out my entire life, I've only been in love with two things; healing and that man. And my worst fear, was failing both."

Before Wen Reian could even begin to respond to such a thing, his heart lurched in his chest, panic gripping him as the image of the forest and Jin Songcai slipped away.

Sitting straight up in his bed in pitch black, Reian held himself tightly, shivering and covered in a cold-sweat.

He felt a hollowness inside him unlike anything he'd ever known. A sense of being the only one aware of how fatally and horribly lonely the world is...

Trying to be as quiet as possible, struggling to keep still and bring his racing heartbeat down, the boy jumped in fear when he heard a little voice from within the darkness.

"Rei Rei?"

Little hands were suddenly gripping his arm and before he knew it, Tian Xu was climbing up into the bed, putting his arms around Reian's neck and hugging him.

Holding the boy, Wen Reian closed his eyes, listening to A'Xu's steady but loud breathing in his ear.

"Why are you awake?" Reian whispered.

When A'Xu pulled away and then laid down in Reian's lap, curling his face into his arms, Wen Rei felt his heart calm at once. The boy said nothing, and pretty soon there were the unmistakable sounds of sleep from him...

Sometimes when the child couldn't sleep, A'Xu would climb into one of the older boy's beds and fall asleep next to or on top of them. It irritated almost everybody. Jin Yu wouldn't tolerate it simply because he didn't like strangers touching him, and Tian Xu had only been in Jingshén for a little less than a year.

Wen Reian laid down again, gently stroking the boy's hair and smiling at how he resembled a curled up kitten. It was a while later that Reian felt himself slowly drifting off as well... he felt A'Xu shift slightly, hand reaching out to find Reian's hand. Holding it, feeling how small his fingers were, he felt a twinge of grief as he imagined the little boy being mistreated by his father.

Master Hao had told him only a little bit about Tian Xu's situation. His grandmother had been taking care of him after his father had run off with some woman, but Tian Xu's grandmother couldn't care for him either it seemed, as she was close to death. A'Xu came to Jingshén older than most, not an orphan but with a living breathing family that could not, or did not want to be responsible for his life...

Reian imagined how painful it must be to give up your child. He knew it was something he would never understand, never do. But what if someday he was sick? Hurt? What if he died under uncontrollable circumstances, his son or daughter having to grow up in Jingshén, safe, but always wondering where their parents were?!

As he fell back asleep, he heard Jin Songcai's whispered words in his head. If the healer's worst fear was indeed being unable to save someone from death, Reian's worst fear must be abandoning. He didn't fear abandonment. Not really, since his family in Jingshén was vast and ever-expanding... no, what he truly was terrified of was not being able to be there for those he cared about. Leaving them forever wondering where he'd gone. He feared leaving them alone. For Reian knew, it was the worst torture imaginable. As long as he had breath in his body, he knew he would protect and love everyone here with all his heart.

Everyone; the Masters, Xie De and Jin Yu, Tian Xu and the other young ones, the babies, the older boys too... he'd even protect Xie Yi-jun-

Sleep finally claiming him once again, Wen Reian's last thought was one of the young King.

I should protect him... if not because I care about him, at least for the Jin Songcai haunting my dreams.