Chapter 19: Destruction

Nathaniel Hensley, ruiner of good. Nathaniel Hensley, collateral damage in human form. Nathaniel Hensley, the man I have hated since I learned to hate.

I moved to Echo City when he did, on that rainy day of fate. I had my own place and my own job, but my only desire was to see that man reap what he had sown his entire life. I didn’t do anything, not right away, but only because I needed ammo. I needed a chance to take him down.

Nathaniel is a strange entity. He convinces people he is worth something, worth something positive and good. I was convinced at first, too. He’s good at that, but nothing more. It’s better to be good than to appear good, after all. Nathaniel was terrible underneath the surface. I don’t care about his upbringing, his unfortunate nurture or lack thereof. I won’t blame his parents for him, just like I won’t blame his parents’ parents for him and just like I won’t blame anyone’s misdeeds on an animal from millions of years ago. I don’t hate some long-dead ape. I hate Nathaniel.

It was back before he became a fashion agent that he became terrible. I don’t know what caused it. All I know is that he was given a choice and he took it. I can’t entirely blame him. Wealth is a sufficient motivator for all kinds of evil, but what made this unforgivable was that Nathaniel didn’t do it for money. He didn’t come from poverty. He could have done any number of things, either legal or at the very least good. He didn’t. His choice wasn’t based on his survival. It was based on his enjoyment.

What an awful being that is! A being that is selfish in defiance of deeper inquiry! I cannot despise a shark that gnaws on the live carcasses of seals, for it does not know of a better way. Given its circumstance, indeed, there is no better way! Nature would be to blame if blame had to be cast. Alas, I cannot despise nature.

I do not despise the mother deer who flees her newborns in the face of an attack! She understands those creatures are connected to her, but through the continued unfairness of the world, she has to make a choice. Her choice is to save herself, in hopes that her future newborns won’t be subject to such unfairness. It is unpleasant to consider, but I do not feel any ill will toward her.

What does it mean, then, that I hate Nathaniel Hensley? What does he possess that I dislike so passionately? He has knowledge! He has capability! It is only with these qualities that one can even be evil, or be judged at all. It’s funny for a criminal to judge a criminal, but I have no other choice. He isn’t going to be judged unless I take it upon myself.

I followed him every day to his lucky job at Antler Industries. He didn’t deserve it. I followed him home, where he slept comfortably in a bed without a care in the world. He didn’t deserve that either. I followed him everywhere, so much so that I became worse at my job. I didn’t mind. It was my self-assigned duty to watch him, to make sure he didn’t get too happy.

To my surprise and pleasure, I noticed his mental state degrading. Something weighed on his mind. All I hoped for was that this spiral would continue, going further and further down until he couldn’t see a way out. That’s what people like him deserve. There isn’t such a thing as redemption.

Then, he became a criminal. Or rather, he became a known criminal. I saw his face plastered on screens around the city, with messages explaining his crimes. This should have pleased me, knowing that everyone would see him the same way I do, but it didn’t. This wasn’t terrible, it wasn’t evil. This wasn’t the crime I wanted him to be punished for. A theft, no matter how difficult, is just theft. These weren’t the crimes he should have been known for. People could root for a man like this, who steals from a big company. I didn’t want anyone on his side. Still, I suppose it was better than nothing. I could use this to let his other crimes come to light.

All until I saw his face again, but this time with the words coming from his mouth. He had the audacity to steal the attention of everyone just to plead his case. He was attempting to use his charisma to sway the hearts of innocent civilians. It was effective. I witnessed the doubt firsthand, as people began to question who was in the right. I was the only one who knew for sure that no matter what Nathaniel declared, he remained evil. He couldn’t be saved. For being such an advanced city, it was grating how long he remained visible. Someone should have shut his illegal video off long ago.

I was happy to see Anders Askeland condemning Nathaniel in an equally influential, if not more threatening monologue. I was enamored with the idea of turning the tide against my enemy. I considered going straight to Anders, solely to congratulate him on a wonderful job, and perhaps to offer my services. I didn’t end up doing it, but I thought about it. I suppose I care about self-preservation too.

Then, as did everyone else, I saw the broadcast of one Amahle Imada. It was the last thing I wanted—any reason to root for Nathaniel, any reason to be on his side. I was terrified as I witnessed what Amahle did to prove her immortality, and I began to question what I felt. She was a victim of a terrible injustice, and Nathaniel’s actions were in service of her freedom. I could cheer for her. Nathaniel, on the other hand, I was hesitant.

Hesitance is destruction! How could I feel empathy for the man I hate?

That was a shock. All it took was a shake of the head for me to remind myself that it didn’t matter what Nathaniel did now, he was forever in the wrong. He had to pay. I was going to be the one to make it happen. I didn’t care if what I did was short-sighted, if I ignored the evils of others, or if I caused myself harm in the process. I had to ignore the present. Punishment can only be given to the past.

After seeing Amahle, I concluded that Nathaniel would be close by. They were on the same side, and Nathaniel was an opportunist, so he would probably be getting himself ready for whatever terrible option presented itself. I went to where Amahle was, the headquarters of Antler. I had never been here before, much to my surprise. I suppose this area was off-limits for me until now. I listened to the roars of those surrounding me, but I didn’t care what they said. I didn’t care about living forever or whatever they were arguing about. I only cared about the suffering Nathaniel had to go through.

I made eye contact with Nathaniel for the first time in quite a while. Usually I was behind him, and when he turned his head, he couldn’t find me. Perhaps he didn’t want to find me. When we locked eyes, I saw the fear on his face. I saw the guilt, the anguish, all of the things I wanted him to feel for eternity. He was a coward with the guise of a well-adjusted, confident citizen. He knew that when I saw him, I saw past the facade.

Oh, what joy that brought me! There is nothing better than vengeance!

Just like a man of his stature, he ran away. I chased after him, but he was fast. He made sharp lefts and darting rights, but I kept up. He never turned his head, as if ignoring me would make me disappear. I would never disappear. As long as he lived, I would forever be chasing him.

As the two of us sprinted through the city streets, it was impossible to not listen in on the announcements. That woman, Amahle, had made some sort of deal. Almost like the news took some weight off his shoulders, Nathaniel began running faster. I ramped up my speed in return. The folks we passed by and nearly knocked over were too busy indulging in their conversations to wonder why I was chasing Nathaniel. I was invisible to them in the face of the news. I was invisible to them always. He was the only one who could see me, the remnant of his conscience.

I kept running, and so did Nathaniel. We were the same person, after all.

***

The city had never looked so awful. The light twisted off of the steel and into the eyes of everyone below. The warmth only served to heighten anger; any colder and it would have dulled such emotions, any hotter would have tired such emotions out within minutes. Anders remembered the project he had greenlit to control the weather in Echo City. If he had his smartest minds working on it, perhaps it would be done by now. Maybe none of them were smart enough.

People talk about genius as though it cannot overlap. A physicist might be a skillful mathematician, but only because the two fields are similar. Perhaps a painter can write a beautiful novel, but they are both art forms. If one is able to do distinct fields, like neuroscience and ballet, they are just a rare exception. Anders believed, above all else, that he was capable of all things. There was an underlying principle that connected fields, and whatever it was, he had it in abundance. He was a genius. He may not have enough time to devote to inventing, but he was sure if he could clone himself, those clones would be the best workers on Earth.

Anders grew up in a rural environment, so when he first witnessed the geometry and collective effort apparent in the world’s capitals, he was stunned. That was what it should all be, he thought. Every farm and acre of grassland should either become efficient or should serve for building efficiency. Farms were necessary, he was aware. However, he never once thought they couldn’t be improved. Everything could be improved. Once Anders thought something, he didn’t change his mind quickly. It may have been his one flaw, but good luck trying to convince him of that.

Staring out the window, Anders was reminded of how much he had built. The lives he had improved, that he sheltered within his embrace, and he was reminded that they were falling away. His eyes scanned the large swaths of citizens charging forward, innocent in their anger. He didn’t feel sorry, for such a reaction served no purpose for him, but Anders did realize how fragile it all was.

A single figure went in the opposite direction to the masses, sprinting across the street, and Anders, with his enhanced eyesight, could have sworn he had seen such a stride before. He sighed. It didn’t matter now. The deal had been made.

When he was a child, driving in the backseat of his family’s car, Anders was startled when it came to a sudden stop. His parents stepped out in unison. Being a curious child, Anders followed suit. In the middle of the lane, there was a toad. Anders stared at the creature, which refused to move despite the prodding of the two adults. He promptly asked his parents if he could have it, and having never asked for a gift in his entire life, they happily obliged.

Three weeks later, after having constructed a modified terrarium to give his adopted toad the premier life, Anders brought his toad to school. The students and the teacher were all impressed, which didn’t surprise Anders. After the show and tell, one child ran up to Anders, asking if he could have the toad.

The animal which Anders had taken off the road, cared for, and taught to little avail. It was a question with only one answer. The classmate did not like this and upped his offer. It turned out his family was rich, and he could afford to make these purchases with the assumption they would pay. It was irresponsible parenting, but that was not Anders' fault. He told the classmate no once more. Finally, the highest offer was made, and it was substantial. Anders considered the cost of the terrarium, the continued expenses for the toad’s existence, and made his choice.

Anders never saw his toad again. With that initial investment, he was able to begin his career as an entrepreneur. This was the first time he ever remembered that toad. He had never given it a name, but he remembered its eyes and personality.

It was only rational to value long-term benefit. However difficult it was, it was for the best to avoid emotional pitfalls. Anders was right when he was a child, and he was right now.