Cold. The side of his face was immeasurably cold. Stanley stood up, only to realise he couldn’t see anything. It seemed that whatever surface he was previously lying on was responsible for the coldness on one side of his head. He scanned his surroundings, trying to find any traces of light. There were none. Everything was dark.

“Hello?” he asked worriedly.

The response he received was far from his expectations. The sound of rocks grinding against each other. And gears struggling to do their job, accented by the irregular clashing of metal on metal, which belayed the state of disrepair the machinery was in. After a short while, the sound stopped.

“Is there anyone out there?”

His voice once more brought about change in his surroundings. A distant sound like heavy levers being activated started. Each sound a repeat of the last, only closer and louder. Every repeat started with the grinding of metal gears, before ending in a satisfying set of three clicks, each of a slightly different pitch. The noises were progressing towards him. He backpedalled a few metres, but almost tripped in the process. The heel of his shoe had hit an immovable object. Regaining his balance, he realised a wall was blocking his retreat. He resolved to await his fate. Upon reaching him, however, the sounds stopped. He looked up, gazing into the darkness, searching for anything to provide contrast to his world of nothing.

“Hey –“ he started, but was cut off by an aggrieved voice.

“If you don’t shut up you’re going to kill us. So please, be quiet while I think,”

It seemed to be coming from both his left and right simultaneously. Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, Stanley’s eyes narrowed as he considered his situation.

Distance from speaker sounds like 25 metres. Two directions suggests a stereo system of some kind. They’re not physically in the room with me?

Stanley knew his estimate was unreliable, but it helped him to assign numbers to unknown variables. He decided to use this time of silence to recall how he ended up in his situation.

There was a snake. Then I fell? It seemed like a long way down, so why am I uninjured?

Stanley was interrupted from his introspection by a light ahead of him flickering to life. He squinted, trying to adjust to it. The light only barely illuminated the edges of the room, the walls of which appeared to consist of stone bricks. The light originated from a lamp that was sitting on a desk, a book was the only other object on top of it. All of this residing within a room around 10 metres wide and 30 long. Stanley and the desk were at opposing ends from each other. He had already encountered the shortest side.

“Alright, walk straight towards the desk and we’ll be good,” said the disembodied voice.

Stanley again searched for the source of the voice, but even with the increased light, he was unable to. Only noticing that it was coming from slightly above eye level, and seemed to originate from the longest pair of walls.

Sure. Let’s do what the strange voice says. What could go wrong?

He hesitated, but started walking when he couldn’t find a better option. During his walk, he meticulously scanned the surroundings for anything out of place. Past the half way mark was a blue carpet with white octagons tastefully distributed along it. The shapes seemed to flow in the direction of the desk, which is where the carpet ended. The floor on either side of the narrow carpet was almost bare of objects, defined only by a shiny hardwood surface. A small wooden cube sat next to the desk. It was four centimetres long.

Upon reaching his destination, rectangular lights embedded in the ceiling began turning on one by one. They were all red.

“Don’t move,” came the man’s voice.

After they’d all turned on, the colour slowly shifted to white. They settled on a brightness that wouldn’t hurt a human’s eyes, but would also allow them to comfortably read a book. Stanley was surprised how fast his eyes were able to adjust to the new conditions.

A sigh came through what Stanley could now identify as small speakers attached to the walls. “Sorry about all that. The program governing this facility is a bit glitchy. My name’s Albert, and the way out of here will open up within thirty seconds. At which point you may leave if you so choose,”

Stanley’s eyes darted from one side of the room to the other, unwilling to communicate further with Albert. The wall closest to him parted, revealing a dimly lit pathway through a cave.

“This passage will lead you back to the surface, just follow the lights” said Albert.

He had barely finished speaking when Stanley started walking out of the room at a brisk pace. The wall re-joined soon after his departure. Another sigh sounded out through the speakers. The man behind the curtain, Albert, was seated at a desk in a room adjacent to the one Stanley had just been occupying.

“I didn’t want to let him go, but it’s not like I feel comfortable just kidnapping people,” he said shaking his head. “This place really is a piece of work,”

He considered the computer screen in front of him, and the tab he had minimized that he was pretending didn’t exist. Albert had already checked what it said ten minutes ago: Thirty one days until self-destruct. Obliteration of nearby population centres may result unless centres are hardened against nuclear assault.

“So more like, will most definitely be obliterated,” he mocked. Albert, discouraged, sat back in his chair, hoping the earth above might be willing to just bury him and all of his problems together. “What now?” he asked hauntingly.