Birthdays are

something I let slide

on by, pretending

that I can pretend that

they don't matter

as if all the things

I hoped to be by now

never really meant

any.

But

I can't this time

because pretending

I'm fine

is closing my eyes to

a world of

God's goodness

in the midst of

every.

So.

It hasn't been an

easy day

(remember those?

me either)

but so much that I thought

would be echoing

empty - was filled

full.

(Hands

want to close,

to cling,

but hands hold better

open.)

Because I have

a God,

and He

has me.

The only God who

loves back.

The only God

who loved

first.

And He gives.

He is the God

of real laughter

and real tears.

He holds and

He heals and

He tears

down the rubbish to

build the beautiful

strong.

I write about today

because I don't want

to forget:

today God was good.

And when today

is yesterday

I want to remember that

God will be good

tomorrow.

Balloons or no balloons.