《A Skazka》The explorer and the beast
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Once upon a time, there was an explorer who traveled all the lands: he passed through the great green forest; passed wide and lengthy plains; passed big and steep mountains and small and shallow hills.
He went off one day to explore the plains. He climbed over an ordinary hill and found a hole in the middle of the hill that goes down, down, down. He wondered, 'What use is a hole, in these lands, if it does not have treasure.
The traveler knotted a rope to a tree and the rope and he went down into the hole. 'Anyone here', screamed he, 'I have come to seek fortune.'
Dingity dang! Bingity bang! Bang! Bang! 'Explorer!' said a beast, 'I shall have you for dinner, so wait for your death in four hours!' Dingity dang! Bingity bang! Bang! Bang!
The explorer; unafraid, followed after the sound of the beast, for he explored the great green forest, the wide and lengthy plains, the big and steep mountains and small and shallow hills.
The beast stood amidst the cave and said: 'Sweet dinner! The prey so large that it will be eaten by my thousandth bite.'
The explorer knew of no beast that would call something smaller than itself large; and needs to bite a thousand times to eat up its prey.
The explorer was piqued by the beasts queerness; bravely, he looked at the beast's feet; however, he saw feet of a rat. He then looked at the body of the beast; however, he saw a body of a rat. He looked no farther at the beast. The explorer learned that the beast was no beast, but a rat.
He silently went back to his spot and waited for the four-hour time up to end.
Dingity dang! Bingity bang! Bum! Bum! The beast hid behind a wall and said: 'Your time has come explorer; now, lay down with your back facing the ceiling, and be good, or you will be in a lot of pain when I munch your pity life.'
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The explorer without a fuss did as he was told, which made the beast full of triumph. It crawled towards the explorer, and said; "Dingity dang! Bingity bang! Bum! Bum!"
The beast came nearer and nearer to the explorer, its steps sounded less than steps, and more of a voice. Finally, the tooth of the beast came on top of the explorer's head, readying itself to slay the explorer, and eat its fill with a happy ever after.
The explorer; however, showed his true colors when he snatched the beast off his head with his bare hands and held it up in front of his face and said: 'You are no beast, but a rat.'
The rat turned pale from the turn of events; nevertheless, the explorer couldn't see it as the rat face was covered with fur.
'Mercy!' said the rat, 'Please, piles of treasure will all be yours, and my life in servitude to you.'
The explorer ignored the rats begging, as the language of rats is a tricky thing; therefore, he twisted the rat's neck, cracked its bones, and dropped it to the ground.
The explorer found precious treasure behind the rat lair and a staircase that led to the surface. The explorer became a rich merchant that lived happily ever after.
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Appless
Hi. I'm Eric Mohammed, an appless high-school drop-out. You're probably expecting me to write an elaborate description with a compelling hook here. You would be wrong because I don't give a fuck. You see, this is the story of me getting absolutely shafted in a multitude of ways by a multitude of interesting parties. I don't need to sell it. Have fun reading, or don't. — Eric P.S: Just in case one of you fuckers hacks my phone and gets this published somewhere on the internet and someone leaves a bad review, I'm gonna wreck their shit and yours. Just sayin'. I'll have you know my story is amazing, got that? The damaged file attached above was retrieved by unit \0x2D4FFFFFu on 42/89/0504T00:00:45.0410Z AE, during a salvage operation. Restoration in progress.
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