There isn't enough time of the day left.

I dont know even where to start. What does that mean?

Well, there isnt enough time to do anything, im exhausted and im done prepping for the day. The clockwork mechanics are still happy with my life behind the scenes.

Behind your actions? If that is what you meant think i am catching up

No, no, no. Business wise. The business runs by itself. Im set.

Penny… what do you want me to do.

Nothing… After having dinner alone, I’m just sitting here, watching the hoot hooters, and looking at that the day is already over. What a pity. I might want to have made plans off the coast to shoot a video sliding down towers and rocking up to a mountain or two to film a river for a project I have in the works. But, you look happy?

Are you feeling okay? If you wanted something whilst I was out, you could have called.

I was thinking. You, me. I was the one that invited you to stay. Those roomates of yours, they are trouble, you are trouble. I dont think I know what i have gotten myself into. Maybe you should leave. Maybe you should be gone out of the house by morning.

Are you threatening me? You’re not. Thats how it looks from where I am standing. From all the way over here, it seems you brought me closer to drop me off by the curve when it wasnt in your fancy anymore. I didnt ask for this. I certainly dont need you to be a good housemate. I didnt have anywhere else to go, but you know me, I would have found a place, called it home, and have whatever trouble that the roomates I have lived with for the past 6 years are now would have dealt with the exact same way. Why are you bringing it to you? Is it is something that I have done? Did something happen when I was gone? Watch something?

Do you know the history of this house, the history of this town? Do you know how much effort it took for me to say those words to get you here, with me

I didnt want it, nor did I ask. Can we move on? Is there something you want to say to me that you have bottled up inside? I can do my special trick to get you to talk.

First of all, that kind of talk needs to stop.

O,h so now im staying?

I can’t believe you. You were the first you know that, you were the first person i thought i could finally hang with and do stuff with that would be here in the current relationship and not noticing or dealing or caring with my side of the business, the first person i thought i could open up to the very first one since i cam back to this house and started getting traction with my work. I felt alone, and you being there, sitting across from my chair, as i interviewed you, i felt something i had never thought i could feel before, i felt that there existed someone out there that was just as messed up as me, of course in different ways. Still, someone who lived outside the world, everyone else played in, I thought for the first time I was looking at someone who was able to stand side-by-side with me, look at the world, and shoot the donkeys with. Throw up our legs and finally belt out a laugh, B. I never felt that way before, though I was wired different, thought there was a purpose for all of this, and to my credit, I found an answer to that question. And everything made sense, at least for a while. It did feel good everything making sense. Clarity is what I experienced. Something made sense that bothered me for a while, Bek I didn’t want to be here for some quiet time. I still did, even acquiring this sought after clarity. I realised how I felt, and I kicked myself for it as it thought particularly better because it made everything function better than usual. Better at everything I was doing before. I have been given an opportunity a step up. Look. It was you. We don’t live in medieval victorian times, Beka. You can’t kill. I never thought I would have to say such words. Still, it is true, I can’t accept murder in my home, not only for me but for everyone else’s sake. I need to put you down. I don’t want to see you ever again. I can’t, I can’t handle it. The way you make me feel. I guess that is what happens when you live with a murderer under your roof. But a murder like you, you killed for fun, you killed many people in all sorts of ways, and you have not dealt with the circumstances. What do you want me to do. I saw you as you were when I first saw you, a person filled with wonder and change, but it is harder to look at your face the more I know about you, especially for someone like me. I want to go home at the end of my days, backend of my shoots, home is where I work, and I don’t think I see it as such with you being here. Take your tortured self, and please leave. I invited the devil over, and it took residence in a room and stayed. And I want it out. I want the devil to get out of my home. So I can get to work scrubbing your existence and presence in this house clean. I don’t want to be reminded of past failures. Just go, please.

It is not hard to walk out that door. It isn’t hard for us to never speak again. It isn’t even hard for me to stop communications with everyone we have in common. You know what is hard. Putting down your phone when it is time to make th right call. Which it is right now. I don’t know what you expected when you asked me to live with you, but I can see your expectations have not been met. I know. You are right on all counts. I didn’t know it was hard for you to pick up that phone and tell me if I wanted to move in. Crazy to think that I would be so lucky after coming out as a serial killer and having my rights revoked. I live here back in the shadows, where I needed to be. Because I am running. And there are plots and plans to hatch, and I will have to deal with that in a new civil way. And I can’t do that without you. I’ve learnt so much and experienced so much in this town, the people, the food. When the time comes and the mountain up the top of me crumbles, it takes me down with it, no questions asked, no reports or investigations made. I will lose to a mountain. Not with you, though, and is that a lot to ask, to come here under the mountain and stick your hands out, trusting me that together we will be enough. Because I see that. It might have affected the way I was around you, but. You said it, I live outside the world, right, nothing like those pencil pushers, but that is not right, and clearly, your focus is somewhere else. So I’m going to go ahead and say it. Life wasn’t easy for me growing up, not like you in this big house. I ain’t got anything like this to go back on, but that isn’t an excuse for killing. If that was the case, half the world would be monsters, and by now, the last time I checked, the earth had itself something pretty. I ain’t a part of that, haven been for a while now, the earth doesn’t want me here, and now the monsters are all out to get me. I’m under protection, and that extends to you as well. They probably have seen us making nice, so if you don’t want to get yourself hurt, you will resign until the whole show blows over. You carry on your little show now, until it is done, and you keep going on like nothing happened. That is all there to it. Being part of the outside world, iIsee that. I will not make you any more uncomfortable than I already have and talk about the killings, so I won’t. I’ll be respectful. But I am on your side now, the lighter part of the opposite side of the world. That’s a promise. I switched, and I’m not going back.I am not. But you know what I can think about, and it would be in your best interest to listen into. I needed escape, and you were there. I needed help again, and you were there, and I needed comfort and safety and guess who was there to give that to me. I am not one to talk back to an angel. You gave me everything I wanted, so the least I can do is give you this one thing, given it is something you actually want because you sure well know in my cases those were the cases. In the first attempt, I was out cold turkey, took a shift that I felt in my soul, I felt my life shift gears. Everything was already moving. I had underestimated the change it would bring and the magnitude of that change that it would bring when one tiny cog turns who have no idea of the possibilities it can be attached to. It crushed me, and I was out running, I was looking for cover, and you were the one that provided that. You were the only one that didn’t treat me like normal like you were supposed to. Still, of course, the behaviours of others no longer concern me, but I took notice. I was curious about the turn of events. You were playing so destructively, I had to be sure you were insane and not some mad genius, and in that case, i would have been beaten by the best. On the other hand, it would have been a safe hand that was reaching out for me. Old habits die hard, especially those from yesterday, and you took no notice of that. How much of that is left on the camera, I bet. On the second account, I was very lost; just basic social interaction became hard, ordering food, talking to a cashier, someone bumps into me, or stops to ask me what I do. I felt like I was back at the infant stage of development in my brain, not allowing old me to interfere with the new me. The new me was starting from zero, and when your brain freezes over the simplest of decisions in the morning, you wonder how far you will make it like this and how much longer you can last; sure as hell didn’t think I could go on for anymore then I did when you found me. The excitement of this new life was all there with nowhere to go, as I wasn’t actually doing anything, which made me even more excited. It is hard when you make the shift. You have all this ball of energy with nowhere to put because you are still at the bus stop of your journey. I would like to think this excitement will stay and that when I have a better handle on things, I can use it as an outlet to create something marvellous like you do. The first stop was giving me the home., introducing me to new people, talking to me about all the new things I could do with my life. I was very excited I still am. Do you want to know where I was today? I was off looking for the neighbourhood kids banners that they had lost; their neighbours told me some about you as well. Talked about the raining man from the sky and the kid who loved baseball but dropped it before high school. I talked with these people, not behind a mask or a gaze but with the true me. I helped the kids find their banners. I was a great help, my perspective and way of thinking being unorthodox and all that. I was of help, and I liked that, at least I think I did. I had no other agenda. I wasn’t playing for my side of the field anymore. I was helping them out. I was just a regular receiver. The only thing that I had to be worried about was my big secret. What would they think of aunt Beks now? Their moms will tell them never to talk to me. I would understand if this was previous to me, but I did take some offence. I think I will be chasing this dragon. Maybe if I am up and open with it, no one would bat an eye. But this isn’t really a thing you can joke about. I have heard it joked about how this family member was a serial killer beware in my lifetime. Still, if it was actual, then they would scream and call the cops. And then the game will start over again, but it is in my best interest and soul that I stay this way. I am not making the transition back any time soon. I don’t know what would likely happen. I wear it on my sleeve pretty boldly.

Stop all of this, please. I am regretting speaking up already. I should have called it an early night.

You intercepted me. I wasn’t finished with my story.

Whatever story you have going on, I don’t want to hear it. I can see why it is so much like me to go ahead and do something like this, but the consequences. I am afraid I am going to go insane, but until then, you know.

Until then, we can ride it out in the plane of glory with the ships of gems signing the ambition of credit. I’m going to head into bed now; anything you want to say to me, you can tell me tomorrow. Just as always, I am too lazy and forgiving that I will forget anyhow. To a glorious journey together we shall have, let me take you sightseeing.

Come on over here. I don’t know if there will come a day where I am finally okay with you staying here, not feeling afraid every time you go out, wondering what you are up to in your free time. You might even be able to go on one of those tv shows, where they have the one average cop and the serial killer that catches their serial killers; you are in a very special situation because of your actions and is it okay to regret them, but not see where you are, is something on my fault. I didn’t think I was going to be able to talk to you like this. If we go on video making, I wonder if we will be closed and people will see another side of you. But it is right what you said about me. I do live for what I am making. I do live for it because it is a way for me to explore the world and all its weird corners and put it out there for people who have not the time or even knew about such places being here, that could help you if you stay.

Yeah, I can stay. Nothing was holding me back on that account. I want to go to bed, too. My head hurts being out there with the kids; everyone hates me, I think. I didn’t know that before I knew that before, and I lived off that and lived my life accordingly, every good samaritan gesture was the tortuous act I was performing for them.

Have you eaten? I could set you up something before bed, and we can talk about it.

No, no, I’m good. It is getting late. I wouldn’t want to ruin that sleep schedule now. Your work is all in the day because it is outside, right.

I always skip a day; nothing will happen. I could quickly also just stop doing anything that, too, would be okay. I would be letting a slight cog turn, but how bad could that possibly get. A new life with new people, with the possibility of doom beside me, wouldn’t have it any other way, would you?

I can say not. Sounds terrible though, people around you will want dilly dally as a word of advice.

Yeah, and what do we do to those people,

We let them live their lives and go back to ours because no harm is the number one rule of life; no matter the shift you decide on taking, follow it with your life. I don’t know if I have any dignity whilst saying that, but I said.

You did; you did say such a thing. I don’t know if I can joke, but you did it, so I’m comfortable now. Look at that. But I’m exhausted too. I was thinking about this whole day and left off other needs unchecked. Look at that, not healthy right? You want to help instead of hurt. Did the video, did she say anything about that or...What do you think about that?

I don’t know. I haven’t thought of it like that. I don’t know if I like that idea, maybe it will be what this my life takes me. However, I haven’t thought about that. I think I am still lousy, arent I? I don’t think that has changed. Still, I guess the me that wants to be treated nicely is coming from the change of me being so significant that I want to recognise the shift outside, but it might be more than that. I don’t know, Pen. I’m going to bed.