Goblins are really unbelievably ugly. Green skin, distorted faces, small and horrible screams as voices.

I was watching one right now. It was hunting something, which was also surprising incidentally. A rabbit with a horn. The goblin was giving the rabbit some kinda berries and the rabbit even took it. But what happened later, was just dump.

The goblin jumped right after the rabbit ate the first berry but that thing dodged without a problem. No, to be more precise, I couldn’t even tell if it was doding, it was more like after one blink it was behind the goblin. Maybe it was one of those rare rabbits, which are difficult to catch.

The horned rabbit pierced the goblin in the back and the goblin let out an eardrum damaging scream out, I was forced to cover mine.

After that, the rabbit just hopped away, like nothing happened at all. The goblin on the other hand, was staggering for some reason, which was strange.

Let me explain better. The goblin had the size of 7-year old child, while the rabbit had the size of a rabbit we also have in our world and the horn had the size of the little finger and wasn’t that sharp.

So it should hurt less than a syringe, but it still screamed as loud as hell.

I sneaked behind it and ignored the scream. I focused every of my senses on that goblin. And then I moved forward.

A punch in the back of its head, I was able to hear a cracking sound, naturally the punch was with the gauntlet. While it was turning around, I pierced its neck with my dagger. It was the piercing-technique which I trained by the old man, the one which I apparently had a talent for. It was dead.

I was trembling with my whole body. Even if this was a surprise attack, I hurted something for the first time, no, I killed something “big” for the first time. You can’t compare this with insects or something.

As I was still in daze after my first kill, I heard sounds from the bushes. I had a really bad feeling about this.

9 Goblins appeared and the two from the front were running at me, the scary thing was, they had stone daggers which looked really sharp.

Surprised and paralyzed from this loud and annoying scream, I moved too slow and go hitted by them. Goblin Nr.2 sliced with its knife on my left arm and Goblin Nr. 3 gave me a scratch on my right leg.

“Ahhhhrgh” (Anoki)

It hurts, why does it have to hurt. Why. Why does it always have to hurt.

Memories. Something is coming back, I’m recalling something, which might save me now:

“HEYYY ANOKIII! Why aren’t you talking to us, no why are you so quiet? You know that's a bit unsociable right?” (?)

I couldn’t say anything. Stop, just shut up. What is this feeling, it’s suffocating, it won’t let me say any words, I was unable to response to him. Is this really shyness? Am I that shy?

I don’t like that person, he talks to me as we were friends or something, has always this stupid grin on his face and has also this damn mocking tone in his voice.. He really makes me angry.

But I mustn't become angry, I kept telling me that while I was imagining him dying and dying again, by piercing a spear through is entire body. Blood spreading out, spilling on the dark ground. There is nothing else there, only him on the cross while a big, ominous, not describable, sharp spear is bore through his chest. It was moving in and out.

My eyes went wide, when I was imagining this, I was shivering a little. It seemed it looked like something because he reacted to it.

“Huh, what is with this face? Hahaha, Hey guys, look at him, he is scared of me. That big, fat boy is looking so dumb right now.” (?)

“Don’t call me fat…” (Anoki)

“Huh.. what's with you?” (?)

Again this mocking tone… sorry I can’t hold it anymore.

“ugh..” (?)

I punched him. I punched him in the stomach. I usually don't’ use violence at all. It is something for bad kids, but his mocking and making fun of me. All the time. I was a barrel which was filled with water. And this at that day, was just the last drop. I exploded I guess.

The things which happened were so predictable but I still cried like shitty baby. Naturally the gave me the guilt. For them, it was just a small prank from a kid and I, the one with the bigger, more “voluminous” body just reacted too bad. Usually it would go to the direction where we both say sorry to each other, forced by the teachers and I guess our parents, wouldn’t happen anyway, and everything would be fine then.

But it seems, the punch which I deducted to be weak, was actually quite strong, because he didn’t came to the school at the afternoon. Nor did the teacher approach me or something like that.

When I asked the friends of that person, if he was okay. The laughed and asked in return, why would I care.

I was worried the whole day if something bad happened and my imagination as a kid went wild, with me ending in the prison or something.

At the end he came back and his little “pranks” stopped. That was the time, when I noticed, that I never have to become “angry” again. Because not only my way of thinking, piercing innocent persons for so low reasons was wrong, even dare to use violence was unacceptable. My parents wanted a good child, a trophy which they can boast about. I don’t have the right to disobey them.

I needed to keep those feelings to me but it was more difficult than expected, so I used “special ways” to reduce the anger.

One of them was, praying that “bad people” would come. Those people were humans which committed a grave crime. Rapists, pedophiles, kidnappers or murderers. They were considered as scum in the society, it was a norm of the world that they were “bad”. So I prayed and wished, that I will maybe meet one of them. Then I can release my anger and nobody would complain. They would be rather happy I thought.

Well, I never thought that I meet them in a different world. Monsters, considered as a threat by the people of this world. Not everyone of them did something bad, but it seems to be their nature, the like to harm humans or eat them. So people give quests to eliminate them for the sake of protection. In other words, also here, in this world, people would be happy if they die too.

And right now, I was hurt by two of them. Those two front goblins hurt me with a knife, that could end dangerous and there were even more of them which could hurt me, even if those had only tree branches.

Goblin Nr. 2, the one which slice on my arm, turned back and was going to swing its dagger again but stopped moving immediately.

The reason was simple. A punch, not a cool one like in an action movie on the head which breaks it into pieces, no. But it was a strong punch with an iron gauntlet on his neck and I was still giving more force to it. Then I continued to tramp its throat with my shoes, tramped again and again. Naturally it was pretty dead already.

Goblin Nr. 3, the one which gave me really bad scratch on my leg, was aiming at my groin. What an evil piece of shit.

Before it could do any harm, I pierced its eye with my dagger and pushed even further. I felt a squishy. Most likely that was its brain because it rolled its eyes and fell on the ground. It was dead too.

“Haaah.. sigh..” (Anoki)

Suddenly, an overwhelming feeling spreaded through my entire body. I looked, like it was a reflex on my pant. There was nothing.

I was pretty sure, what I just felt right now, was pleasure and it was so strong, I never felt something like that ever before. Does that mean I was sadist? Someone who enjoys giving pain? I guess it was good to act as if everything was fine with me in my world, because it's now clear that I’m nothing more than scum.

Anyway it seems like the other 7 Goblins were trying to escape. Maybe those two from the front were their strongest fighting force, I mean they had stone daggers after all.

Before Goblin Nr. 4 could let out a horrible scream, I was really sick of those now. I ripped of his arms. Even I was surprised by that action, from where does this sudden strength come from? Let’s think about it later.

They didn’t really get a better fate at the end, every single one of them experienced a horrible death, excluding the first one.

I was on my knees, covered in their blood. And believe me or not, I was crying. Well, I don’t guess that this will make me a better protagonist. I wonder how many telepaths which was reading my mind I lost with that action.

I was crying, maybe it was joy? FInally I was able to release the anger , after this delusional suffering for so long. Suffering, nobody would consider pain or something bad. But for me, who apparently had a weak soul, it was hell.

But it also could be sorrow, I was crying because I lost. I lost my composure again. Answering pain with pain is wrong. I know that. There are plenty of other solutions. But I can’t deny it, that for me at least, it was the right answer. It felt satisfying after all.

My tears were running down on my face. The sun was behind the horizon. It was a beautiful dawn in this different world.