A Dream of Solitude

I could feel myself slowly drifting away from the World of reality as I fell deep in my slumber. I was momentarily unconscious as I entered the first few phases of my sleep cycle, and when my R.E.M phase started, my cognitive activity began to spike, creating the illusion of dreams. The difference was that I knew this wasn’t just a simple dream. The dream I had was a culmination of emotions long stacked together by a certain entity.

I found myself waking up in an utterly dark place within the dreamworld. There was neither light nor sound. There wasn’t even any ground for me to stand on. It felt as if I was being sucked and pushed down in an unending spiral of abyss where not even air existed. I didn’t even know if I truly existed there. All I knew was the fact that I was somehow there.

There was nothing for a while, until a voice surfaced from somewhere. A crying voice, filled with sorrow and longing. It was the small voice of a girl who likely had been abandoned for who knows how long, and the first semblance of life activity that I experienced in that long tunnel of nothingness.

My eyes would soon adjust to the darkness, and I would begin to see something faintly glowing. That *something* had the body of a colossally gigantic shark. It was so large I may as well have been an ant, no, a microorganism in front of it. Whether that entity was right in front of me or not, I didn’t know. Such is the scale of its size.

Its eyes were closed, while its tentacles drooped in dejection and defeat. It likely didn’t notice my presence, as I felt no bloodlust nor any other kind of reaction from it. All it did was infinitely cry. I had been wondering why it had the voice of a female person, but the answer immediately dawned on me as I noticed it. Yes, at the top of the shark seated a small girl in a white one piece dress. She had white hair extending to the middle of her back, and a pair of red eyes. She had her arms wrapped on her folded knees, with her face burried. A typical appearance of those who got caught in the clutch of the cruel thing they call depression. She looked as if the World had already ended, and that there was not even an inch of hope left. There was only unending sadness, loneliness, and defeat.

It took some time before she finally parted her lips with some words.

“I…. no longer want to do this…”

…..

…

“To destroy Worlds… Trample upon and ruin countless people’s lives… To trap souls into the neverending darkness of nothingness… What meaning is there in doing all these things…!”

*sob, sob*

…

“What meaning is there in saving the Universe… If I have to sacrifice countless Worlds in order to prevent The Great Snap?!”

…

“I’m tired… of being hated…Tired of playing the villain…”

…

“I’m tired of being alone.”

“I want to experience the warmth of another…”

“To converse, laugh, and cry with another…”

“I want to love, and be loved back…”

“I want to protect, and be protected…”

“I… just want to be like everybody else…”

“Why… For what reason did He choose me for this purpose…?”

…

…

“I desire the Light.”

…

…

…

The unknown entity stopped speaking, and simply cried to eternity. Unknowing that someone who shouldn’t be there was listening in on her, albeit not on my own volition.

At that point, it became clear to me. Why and how I found Mythria lying on the grasslands within Sanctum Paradis. The reason for my inability to sense her life force, her cute appearance and innocent persona. Everything suddenly became clear.

She must have chosen to give her primal role up in exchange for the experience of living like an ordinary being. She must have felt my existence after she was done passing judgment upon the World from which Sanctum Paradis, the floating island I live in, floats upon. She must have seen the Light that I carry as a Godlike Entity, and decided to entrust herself with me. For the first time in a few thousand years, I felt enlightened. I learned something completely unexpected and unknown to me…

For the first time in a good while, I felt elated, excited, overjoyed even, at being able to experience something completely foreign to me. And that… made my interest towards Mythria grow.

What else would she show me? What else would she tell me? What other secrets does she hold? What is the great snap? I was filled with these questions, with the gigantic being’s cries sounding like background music to my ears.

I have my own selfish goals. My own selfish reasons for doing what I previously did, and for what I will still do in the future. But for the first time in a while, I felt genuinely connected with someone. I genuinely wanted to protect this precious existence so pure Celestia couldn’t hold even a single candle to.

For the first time in a while, I wanted to make someone happy. Perhaps, doing so would allow me to also be happy.

And so, I secretly promised.

“I’ll be by your side, no matter what.”

…..

Shortly after my declaration of a secret promise, my consciousness was robbed away by a feeling of an extremely thin silver thread pulling me from that scene of never ending darkness. Not long after, I opened my eyes and found myself back in reality.

I clearly remember every detail of the dream, including my promise. However, as I have previously said, there is a certain selfish reason for most of the things I’ve done the past one thousand years. My desire to meet my goal will likely outweigh my desire to fulfill that secret promise. But at the very least, I can keep my promise for as long as my goal remains unreached.