“Haha. We were what… 16? 17? Didn’t know what the fuck we were doing… But… You never told me what set you off. You came back to base and looked like you wanted to murder everyone. I had everyone leave us alone so I could try to calm you down but… Well I guess it was a good idea for everyone else to scram anyways. … To be honest, I felt scared… I had always felt that you… were on edge. When you killed you looked so vibrant, so alive. But when you’re not… you looked so… fake… so fragile… as if a passing breeze could crack you. It was as if any tiny thing could crumble you to pieces. And it wasn’t just me, everyone thought that way…”

“I had… never felt… stable. It’s like… Do you remember? What I told you when we actually became a couple?”

“’I will never be able to give you the love you deserve. Because the amount of love I possess is barely enough to keep me sane.’ At the time, I truly didn’t understand what you meant. But now I know. You have feelings. You can feel and express emotions just like anyone else. But you don’t retain them for every long. The saying ‘Happiness is fleeting’ would perfectly describe it. Though for you, it’s not just happiness. It’s all types of emotions isn’t it.”

“It always feels like… my heart is an empty class bottle with a bottomless pit. No matter how much emotions are poured in, they’ll eventually drain to oblivion and all that’s left… is emptiness. But that’s not what I’m getting at. … Actually, I don’t really know where I’m going with this… It’s… not how full my glass heart container can get it’s… That night… the container suffered a crack.”

“… I’m guessing it has something to do with the Arc? And quite possibly… with me?”

“I… You were… annoying. The only reason I bothered to patch you up that day was because you mentioned Shadow. As you know, to declare that you want to be a Shadow, I must give you a chance. And so I did. … You know… at that point… for the past 10 years I – ”

“Hold on. At that point you were 14. 10 years? You joined Shadow when you were 4?!”

“… Why do you think I always avoid Clains City?”

“You… are from Clains? But that’s…”

“A city that’s considered a man-made utopia? Hah! A utopia will never exist. But I guess you can consider Clains to be close enough. Rylan Avengle. I, Misera Isen, am very fortunate to be your wife.” I smirked at him while hold out a hand for a mocking handshake.

“You! ISEN?! As in the most wealthy and power family in Clains? That Isen?”

“Yes. The one and only missing heir of the Isen family. Right here. In the flesh.” I said with a sad smile.

“I don’t… ”

“Despite being what people called the oh so wealthy and powerful, we were a pretty peaceful and down to earth family. My parents were very loving and spoiled me ever since I could remember. And I could remember a lot, despite being so young. I’m a genius after all,” I said with a playful hair flip.

“But anyways, even if you don’t want trouble, it’ll always come knocking. See it’s the usual story. A peaceful family got schemed on by some greedy rats. Well it’s not like we were totally innocent. After all, to get to the top and stay there takes luck, skill, and a bit of dirty work no matter how much people deny it. See, after I was born, I “surprisingly” inhaled some airborne poison. Barely affects anyone over the age of 5. But nearly lethal to anyone under. Being a newborn, it’s pretty much a miracle I didn’t just drop dead. Seemingly a Sudden Infant Death and no one would be the wiser. Too bad for them though, the air in my room was monitored very strictly. It was filtered out as soon as it was detected but apparently I did get knocked out for quite a while…”

“To this day, I still don’t know if I’m naturally a born genius or it was a byproduct of the poisoning but I’ve always been… mature? By 4, my thought process was at a teenage level. It was… I guess a blessing and a curse?”

I went quiet for a while to recollect my thoughts and Rylan just patiently waited.

“Hey do you think I’m a psychopath?”

“Hmm… You might be more of a sociopath? Because I know for a fact you can feel. Maybe not deeply but you can. The disempathic type maybe? But you could be very aggressive too…”

I silently stewed over what he said. Describing… is hard.

“Being four but feeling like an adult is very… can it be considered body dysmorphia? It was… strange. Like I felt like I could “adult” but my point of view, my strength… It felt like I was an old soul trapped in a toddler’s body… My parents loved me. My older siblings dotted on me like crazy. They would always squeeze me and snuggle with me like I was a precious doll… It felt really warm… But at the same time… empty? There was this… disconnection… I wanted to love them... I wanted to give them back the warmth they gave me. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t even do that awkward tsundere love. I didn’t even feel guilty over the fact that if they were all to disappear the next day, I truly wouldn’t care. … Eventually, that warmth became suffocating. You know, like how a warm room becomes stuffy. So I started sneaking out at night.”

“At first, I didn’t go far. I just had to get out of the house. Then I started wondering the street. Well I mean it was a pretty peaceful neighborhood in a nearly utopian city. It was pretty “safe”… But like I said. Nearly.”