《They Are Our Smols》TAoS: Camping Trip
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A sonic boom rent the sky asunder as the ship decelerated, hard. Maneuvering jets fired as the gravitic engines wound down for a gentle landing. In moments, it had shed the momentous heat from re-entry and sat gently sizzling in a designated landing pad. With a sudden burst of gases, pressures were equalized and cooling pumps flushed various systems.
For a few minutes after that, there was relative silence as the local flying creatures — let us call them ‘birds’ for the sake of brevity, though they had long, scaly tails and four wings — settled down in — again, dear visitor, let us call the local tall flora ‘trees’ and ‘bushes’ — the trees and returned to roosting, before a section of the ship opened, causing another squawking, screeching mass of fur and feathers to take to the skies.
“{Wahoo! Daddy! Papa! Uncle Rrfgrbr! We’re gonna go ‘splorin’!}”
Two furred streaks sped down the ramp, one mostly brown the other tan, and zoomed off into the undergrowth without a backward look.
“{Reargrh! Hrnhgrh! Get back here… Pack’s Fangs, you need to help look after your brother!}” called a white-and-black larger creature holding a smaller, similarly white and black bundle in his arms. His fur bristled with anger, but a paw clapped his shoulder and another furred, chuckling figure strutted out into daylight.
“{Come on, Rrfgrbr, let the cubs have a bit of a run, they’ll be… woah! [Rex]! Watch out!}” The larger form of Grashok put his arm around Rrfgrbr as another lighter tan form sprinted down the ramp. “{Let them have their fun, we’re Dads, we can keep our smallest son happy whilst the cubs tire themselves out. Let our wives know we’re fine whilst I set up the barbeque with Maregr. I bet Renfrer is happy to have a long weekend with the rest of the ladies now your little prince is finally weaned?}” Grashok leaned into a hug with Rrfgrbr and kissed his bundle on the head.
“{Yeah, he’s so big now! Aren’t you darling?}”
“{Daaaaaad! I’ve been weaned for [years]! I’m not a pup any more!}” The black and white bundle complained, struggling to get free. The two adults shared a look, chuckling.
“{You’ll always be our little pup, sweetie, all three of your dads will love you forever and ever and ever and give you smoochy kisses and hugs and—}”
“{Bleah! Daddy nooo! Tell Uncle Grashok to staaahhhp!}” Mregreh batted at his assailant before, chuckling, Rrfgrbr put him down.
“{Alright sweetie, go run after [Rex] and keep him out of trouble, okay?}”
“{Okay Daddy! Love you!}”
Rrfgrbr silently watched the little cub go, his heart heavy. Grashok wordlessly put his arm around the smaller male’s shoulders.
“{Don’t worry, they’ll be fine.}”
“{I know,}” Rrfgrbr leaned his head on Grashok’s shoulder.
“{Really, there’s no dangerous beasties around for [miles]. Park Central verified it. Weather patterns are looking good for our cookout too.}”
Rrfgrbr punched the other in the shoulder. “{That’s not what I mean and you know it!}”
Grashok put up his paws feigning innocence, wagging his tail.
“{Hey, hey, what’s going on out here? My little bro giving you a hard time, Rffy? Want me to knuckle him for ya?}”
“{Don’t you dare, old man. Go fetch me a sempta! We’re dying of thirst out here!}”
“{You’re lucky I love you too, Grash, but you’re on washup for that.}” Maregr chuckled heartily as his younger brother made an obscene gesture, but he stomped back into the ship and then reappeared with an entire cooler of drinks, which was opened up far faster than the barbeque.
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“{Ahh, that hits the spot,}” Rrfgrbr said, draining the can and crushing it. “{It’s nice to be without the girls, isn’t it? We don’t get many chances for a boy’s night out.}”
“{Well, you knew what you were signing up for in a pack like ours, R’ffy. Lots of mouths to feed, lots of wives to keep happy.}” Grashok grinned, his muzzle falling open as he rippled all three lower sets of teeth in laughter.
“{Still, it’s good to have some time off after being in season. I dunno about keeping the wives happy, but any happier and R’ffy Junior is going to fall right off.}”
“{Old man R’ffy, huh?}”
Rrfgrbr threw his empty can at Grashok.
“{Hey, no teasing the old man,}” Maregr said, laughing as he brought out the camping stove. “{Get your tail over here and help set this us. Rffy, go tell the wives we’ve arrived safe and sound and we’ll have things all sorted when you get back.}”
Rrfgrbr made rude gestures to the pair of them, then waved as he headed back inside. His head popped out again a minute later. “{Hey, did you know [Rex] has taken—}”
Maregr sighed. “{He left his collar off again? I swear, our tiny chomper is almost more trouble than he’s worth.}”
“{Naa, he isn’t,}” Grashok replied.
Maregr chuckled. “{Tiny chompers; can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em, can we?}”
“{What in the five packs is that supposed to mean?}”
“{I don’t know,}” mused Maregr. “{It’s a thing tiny chompers say. I think. It doesn’t translate well.}”
“{Kind of like them.}”
“{[Rex! Rex!] Here li’l chompy!}” Mregreh called, paws to his muzzle. He made his way through the undergrowth until he heard splashing noises. A few minutes later, he gasped in shock. “{[Rex!] Don’t worry, I’ll save you!}”
Running full tilt into the lake, he stumbled and fell, immediately coughing and spluttering as the water enveloped him. It didn’t take long before Rex, realizing what was happening behind him, swam back towards shore to pull the errant young dorarizin from the cub’s would-be watery grave. It was good Mregreh was still a pup, barely larger than he was, or the outcome could have been very different. It didn’t stop the cub from berating him for ‘getting himself in trouble’ once he could breathe again, though.
The tiny chomper made his barking happy noise as the pair of them recuperated, then he said something in his adorable tiny chompy speak that Mregreh couldn’t understand. Rex had left his translation collar off as usual, along with his clothes. The latter were hanging on tree branches further up the shore whilst the former was back on the ship. Mregreh wasn’t sure if the ‘laughter’ was for surviving the near-death experience or for causing it, though knowing Rex, it would be both.
Far sooner than Mregreh, Rex recovered. He stood up again only to wade back into the water. This time he turned and made a very stern pointing-at-Mregreh-then-pointing-at-the-shore motion before turning and leaping like a fish back into the lake. Mregreh put his paws to his face and gave a shout of frustration. Of course the tiny chompers could swim! He knew that! He’d just… reacted, when he’d seen the tiny chomper ‘drowning’. They hadn’t been able to not nuke their entire world, why wouldn’t he worry that his li’l chompy was going to get himself into at least as much trouble?
“{Come on [Rex]! We should go find my sisters! Don’t you wanna?}”
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Rex said a few burbling, chirpy words, then headed back to shore. He dried himself off with his hands then stretched, naked, before throwing on a pair of shorts and his sandals. He rubbed the rest of the water off with his t-shirt before throwing that on, too. Leading the way, the tiny chomper strode confidently down a path.
“{How’d you know they even went this way, [Rex]? They could’ve gone the other way!}” Mregreh caught up and pointed back the way they’d come. Rex shook his head and chirruped something, pointing, showing his single row of teeth. “{Fine! Come on then, let’s go!}”
A bit further down the path, Mregreh and Rex did indeed find the two larger sisters. They were laughing and poking at something with a stick. Getting a bit closer, Rex suddenly started acting… strange. He was first extremely confused, and then worried. Mregreh could tell that, because Rex absolutely forbid him from getting any closer, actually balling up his adorable little fists and shaking them at him.
“{Okay, okay, I’ll stay back. Are my sisters in danger?}” he asked, slowly and cloudly/
Rex tilted his head in the adorable way he could when he was trying to understand proper speech, then his mouth fell open showing his teeth again. He shook his head, but made a ‘wait’ signal before scampering over to the two older, larger and presumably smarter females. Being females, they were allowed far more freedom than he was, even given that he was the smallest pup of the litter. Females had it so easy, treated like little princesses… he watched them, laughing and joking as they poked some tiny little black and white creature.
“{Look, it’s doing paw-stands! It’s dancing! Is that supposed to be… [Rex]? What’re you… get off, [Rex]! It’s harmless, it’s tiny, it’s an even tinier tiny chomper than you are! Get off! I’m not going to… I’ll tell Papa! I’ll tell him you were a bad li’l chompy!}”
Rex, agitated, tried to get them to stop poking the little creature, but like the spoiled cubs they were, they didn’t listen. They didn’t even pay attention when Rex ran for it, but by then it was far too late.
There was a tiny, tiny sound, almost exactly like ‘pffffffrrrrt!’ and for a brief moment, complete silence. Then Rargrh and Hrnhgrh both started howling.
“{Rargrh! Hrngrh! What’s wrong? What’s… by the fur of the five packs what is that burning stench!?}”
Rex, for his part, was practically rolling on the floor making that mewling, barking laugh that tiny chompers all made. Every so often, he’d sit up, point, and then collapse into adorably squeaky giggles again. Mregreh wafted his paws in front of his face.
“{Pee-yew, you two stink! [Rexy] tried to warn you! And you didn’t listen!}”
“{Grfgrns teeth! I’m blind! I’m scent-blind! Everything burns!}”
“{Make it stop, make it stooooopp!}”
“{Come on, you two… phew by the twin moons of Narshok you stink. No, no, stay back… just listen to me, follow my voice, I’ll get you… wait, [Rex] has a better idea, he’s got… he’s got a branch, just grab it… to your left, no, your other left… that’s right. Grab it… okay, follow us. Just not too close!}”
“{...And so the karnakian says, ‘I thought you meant grp’nck’! Get it? Get it?}” Grashok burst out into laughter, holding his belly and guffawing so loudly, the other two were sure he was going to ripple his teeth right out of their sockets.
“{Oh boo, boo you. Dad jokes, at your age! Wait, what in the seven systems is that stench!?}”
“{I think… I think it’s your two daughters,}” smirked Rrfgrbr, pointing as Mregreh and [Rex] appeared from the trail they’d disappeared down, leading Rargrh and Hrnhgrh at the end of an obviously not-long-enough branch.
“{Oh that’s no fair, they’re your girls too, ya know.}”
“{Not when they stink this badly, they aren’t. I resign from the pack!}”
“{I’ll leave you here.}” threatened Maregr, good-naturedly.
“{As I said, I do not resign from the pack! Okay, [Rex], what happened to my smart li’l tiny chomper?}”
Rex started explaining in tiny-chompese, which didn’t make much sense to the dorarizin. Then Mregreh started trying to explain about little black and white creatures that danced and that didn’t really make much more sense either. Rex shook his head, chuckling, before he went inside the ship. He came out very quickly after wearing his collar.
“[Did you bigs know there were fart-squirrels on this planet? I mean how? They’re from Dirt! Did you take them with you when you took us tiny chompers in?]”
“{There are what’s here?}”
“[Fart-squirrels. Little black and white [critters]. Your boys found one and poked it. I tried to stop them, but you know how pups can be. Do you think you can let me at the fabber? If we’re set for things like [salsa] then I can fab up a [tomato] bath for them.]”
“{A [tomato] bath?}”
“[Yes, it’s the easiest way to get rid of the smell. Unless you want them stinking up the entire ship for the next few weeks]”
“{[Weeks]!? You’re… you’re not kidding, are you? Oh alright, worst that can happen is we have some fart-squirrel flavoured salsa. Ship, I give him full authority for the next twenty minutes to modify this [salsa] recipe he’s talking about.}”
“[Thank you. Then you can tell me just why fart-squirrels are on this planet, because I know it’s not Dirt. The lack of a nuclear winter or radiation poisoning gave that away.]”
Maregr winced. “{That’s because this is… another Dirt. I wasn’t going to say anything because of the…” the dorarizin paused, then gave a deep sigh, “the tiny chomper colony on the next continent over.}”
Rex seemed like he’d been hit with a stick. “[Another… Dirt? Are you trying to… are you trying to get rid of me?]”
For a moment, Maregr was silent, a mixture of emotions fluttering across his muzzle, then he doubled over laughing. He called Rex to him, picking up the now-shaking tiny chomper in both paws. “{No! No, never! We were… I was worried you’d want to leave us!}”
“[But why would… I’m your tiny chomper! You’re the only family I… I have left. I came to you because I wanted to!]”
“{And you don’t want to leave?}”
“[You want me to?]”
“{No!}”
“[Then no! So, tell me, another Dirt?]”
“{First this… fart-squirrel [tomato] bath? The kids are ripe.}”
[Rex] sat on his own little chair — Maregr tried very, very hard not to squeal with delight every time the tiny chomper set it down like it was a real chair — and drank his own tiny, cute, delightfully petite tin of smol-sempta. Maregr was split between watching his tiny chompy play at being a big strong chomper and watching his two daughters wash each other off in [tomato salsa], trying not to vomit. It was a hard decision.
“[You’re telling me that this is a Dirt colony? You’d… you’d give us tiny chompers another chance?]” [Rex] murmured.
“{You’re not prisoners, you know. We just… it’s not… it’s not run by tiny chompers. It can’t be, not after…}” Maregr’s voice trailed off.
[Rex] nodded silently. He’d been there, even if Maregr hadn’t, when the bombs had fallen. His family had been taken from him, leaving him alone in a ruined world. Until the karnakians had come out of the choking mists begging him to come with them in broken almost-sentences. He hadn’t had much choice. He hadn’t known if they’d torture him or eat him or worse… but they hadn’t hurt him at all. They’d hustled him into a hastily converted cargo ship, given him something hot and nutritious to eat, a pillow and a blanket to rest on, a sort of onesie to wear and a place to sleep and had followed it up with a battery of shots and a medical. The next ‘morning’, not that ‘morning’ meant much when all light is artificial, he’d been fed again, showed some functional if basic facilities and then debriefed — not that it had been at all military in fashion — on just what the heck was going to happen.
“|I’m speaking very slowly to you,|” the Karnakian said to the little-needs-protecting, trying as hard as possible to appear friendly. She wanted nothing more than to pull the darling little thing into her feathers, but Fa’ithre’ssh knew that would cause lots of screaming and, well, there was every single possibility of another [hanking] that had started this whole mess. “|We are taking you to your new…|” she paused, mentally turned off her implant and whispered to herself and whatever subsystems listened to pleading like this, “|please don’t translate this literally,|” before turning it back on and saying, “|your new… mommy and daddy.|”
She started to smile, then thought better of it. She knew the little-needs-protectings smiled to each other to show friendship, but for some reason many of them started crying when she did it.
“|What is your name? I’m Fa’ithre’ssh,|” she said, pointing to herself. “|You?|”
The little-needs-protecting in front of her warbled something that gave her visions of hungry little defenceless chicks and gave her the broody something fierce, and she thought for a moment. This was her favourite part, she got to name them! “|[Rex] it is!|” she said sweetly. The little-needs-protecting just nodded, standing there shivering. “|Can I… can I hold, er, examine you? You seem to need,|” she gulped hopefully, “|protecting.|”
The newly-christened [Rex] just nodded, flinching only slightly as the feathered space-dino pulled him into an intensely warm hug for a reason which his hastily cobbled together translator had said was for a “make more human”.
He was given the blessing of Fa’ithre’ssh for adoption, and a few days later found himself on the doorstep — well, they didn’t have a step, but that’s what it was — of Maregr’s, Grashok’s and Rrfgrbr’s, for the want of a better word, house.
“[We fucked up with Dirt,]” said [Rex], eyes fixed several hundred light years away. “[We didn’t deserve what we had, but it wasn’t taken away from us, we threw it away. The thought of… trying again. It’s not for me. I’m not brave enough. The memory of… then is too great.]”
“{Well, that’s what we’re here for, all of us. You’re our smols. All of you. And we love you.}”
Maregr’s great paw came down and rubbed the tiny chomper’s head-fuzz, and the tiny chomper grabbed at his paw gratefully.
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